Loud Mouth Brown Girl

In light of the Pope’s disgusting rhetoric on Trans human beings, I have decided I no longer want to be considered even remotely close to being a Catholic.

I am tired of Trans human beings being told that they literally, do not have a right to exist, because “God said so.” God is not a weapon.

God is not a fucking toy. God is an idea, designed to control people, but they do not have to be. The universal truths of the old days can still hold a lot of wisdom for us IF we choose to listen to who they were, not who we wanted Gods to be.

I am turning 41 and I am divorcing God as a Christian entity. I no longer believe that the person, identity, or creature known as “God” as I was raised to believe in Him, exists in my life.

I choose and have always chosen to believe that if God could exist in more than one form if God could exist in the forms that the people of the Hindu nation believe God exists, then that is possible.

I also believe that if the Asian nations have ideas about God then that is also quite probably true.

I no longer believe – and I don’t think that I ever have – hetero-normative relationships are the “norm.”

I don’t think they were ever the norm.

For centuries being LGBTQ2S+NB meant that you were as a person, outlawed from society. There were secret rooms where people who were “other” gathered to share their secret desires together as a collective, behind closed doors where “proper” society pretended these rooms didn’t exist.

I think there have always been LGBTQ2S+NB people, and I think that we as a society need to acknowledge that. I no longer turn to the Pope for sovereignty over my spiritual desires. I no longer look to the church as a teacher, a guide, a mentor, or a parent.

I look to these institutions of “faith” as the houses of abuses that they are. Nothing in the bible describes what it really feels like to be inside a stifling environment because they don’t want you to know.

They don’t take the bible seriously that’s why there are so many different versions and

every

single

one

of

those

bibles

is

the

only

bible

God

wanted

Bullshit!

I’m tired of believing that men have all the answers when they can’t even respond to acts of violence with thought and critical thinking. The very idea of critical thinking sent all of America into a fucking panic for sixth months because Critical RACE Theory demanded that white folks look at their own behavior and actions.

I no longer believe that my faith in God will be determined by white men on Earth, I do believe that my faith in God is private while I choose to share it, I don’t need education or “re-education” about the Bible.

I learned from the worst of the worst that the bible doesn’t mean anything to the men and women who hold it, and yeah I said men and women because they don’t believe that we the oppressed, we the queer, should exist.

It took me a long time to realize that the reason I’ve always seen LGBTQ2S+NB relationships as beautiful is because I see myself as beautiful even though I’ve been told repeatedly not to.

The world hates people like me, but never once did it occur to any of these right-wing, white people first bullshit humans that the reason people like me are here is precisely because God’s making a fucking point.

I have always preferred authenticity over sparkle and that’s been to my detriment because I don’t feel the need to be a pretty perfect version of Mental health awareness, I am a fucking mess and I trust with everything that I am that MY Gods love me regardless.

So fuck you and your bigotry, fuck you and your ignorance of genocide, fuck you for hating on Black, Brown, Indigenous people who needed your help the most. We will rise to the top of the mountain and when we’re there, yeah we’ll make space for you because we don’t hate you stupid, we just want you to stop being evil.

Sending all my love,

Devon J Hall, The Loud Mouth Brown Girl