“I’m Wifey,” should never be how a woman introduces themself. You’re more than that. You’re a mother, a beautiful, powerful, wise woman, whose been locked away into a world you don’t fully understand. This is something I know well. You think you can control him because you know his name…it was never about being ABLE to control him, it was about knowing that with that power, comes the responsibility of understanding WHY you have that power.

He had power too, but he didn’t know it, so because you said he could, he used it to hurt others, then he got hurt, watched someone he loved die, and you couldn’t understand why he was crying over me when you were right there, cleaning up the messes of the one who left, and the other who died.

He didn’t see you the way he should have, either of you, he certainly didn’t see me until it was too late, and now that we’re family, forever, always and eternally, it’s important you understand this.

YOU WERE MEANT TO BE MORE THAN A WIFE and it’s not about whether or not being a wife is what makes you happy.

It’s about understanding that you have the right to CHOOSE to be a wife, or you can CHOOSE to be a wife….AND…and too many young women, and men, don’t get that choice.

Child marriage is a bitch, this is something you think you don’t understand, but how old were you? The first time you gave him a baby? How long was it before he started calling you wife? How long before people started to step up out of your way because YOU belong to HIM and that makes YOU dangerous, because all YOU have to do is give him a look, and then he goes from being a human to a weapon?

How long did that take?

Being a WIFE is about building a future with someone, about having a life with them. Adventures and children come and go, they grow up they move on, and at the end of the day all you have is you and the person you’ve chosen…but being a WIFEY implies you didn’t choose, but that you were chosen.

Why? Because while you think everyone’s worshipping you, in reality, there are dozens of girls just like you waiting to take your spot, only to be shattered when you come back, forgetting that WIFE and MOTHER OF MY CHILDREN, means forever.

You can break hearts with your beauty and brains, or you can look at your life, and explain to the world, that you don’t need an explanation, not because you don’t know how to define yourself as more than a wife and a mother, but because it’s your CHOICE.

Just remember that. YOU had a choice. We did not.

Letter was written originally by S.M.