Loud Mouth Brown Girl

Yeah, I said it, I remember distinctly when I was working at Surrey Urban Mission Society. In the early years, it was just me, Maggie, my mom, and our volunteer Margret, who was older than dirt was dry.

The four of us helped house upwards of seventy people a night from November to March for the first few years. In that first Christmas, the lot across the street had finally sold, and the building was coming down. They ended up building something that looks to this day, like an upside down heroin needle. Unironically.

That year the “New Neighbors” were in an uproar because there was a shelter across the street from their “Brand new luxury condos”. Hah.

That same year there was a raid in that building. A massive sting operation between the RCMP, the cops and federal agencies. I asked all my people who were unhoused, addicted to drugs, and who had been told “You’re not wanted here,” to come outside about five minutes before the cops showed up. Not because I knew they were coming, but because we were expecting a delivery from the Paramedics in the area.

Brand new backpacks filled with clothes, gift cards, coffee mugs, and thermos, scarves, and all kinds of stuff people need in the winter. As we were handing out the bags, the cops rolled up across the street, en masse. From every Canadian agency I could imagine, there they were, lights blaring, rushing the building like we were in a cop film.

Turns out there was brothel being run through this brand new, never been lived in, perfect building owned by rich people who didn’t want “Us” in their neighbourhood because of “Our reputation.”

The men and women laughed in ways I don’t think many of them had laughed in a long time. It was a good Christmas. Not because sex workers got arrested, but because we weren’t the bad guys for a change, we got to watch as the same people who said we’d bring drugs into their perfect residence were actually the ones running the brothels in the neighbourhood.

The building is still up, and the church, as it was, is long gone now. And many of the men and women who utilized the services have moved on or died.

I’ll never forget that. I’ll never forget an army of neighbours telling me and my mom that “Your organization isn’t wanted here,” over and over again, and feeling like the people we were trying to help really just didn’t fucking matter to anyone.

I just feel like when we say shit like “Mutual aid doesn’t really help,” you’re saying that because you’re someone who’s never had to ask for help before. And when people tell you that saying this is harmful, you have to be responsible and look at why saying sweeping statements like that isn’t helpful before you can understand.

I never thought as someone who helped folks get off the street and into detox, recovery, or the hospital, I’d be someone who needed to get online or anywhere and say “Hey, so uh, I need some money…wanna give me some?” But there I was days from being unhoused, doing exactly that.

When I started my GoFundMe, it was during COVID when I wasn’t making any money, and I wanted to get better equipment so I could put some serious effort into my content creation, but I ended up needing to use those funds to survive.

This site wouldn’t be here today if I didn’t have people who donated to my campaign or bought my books and my clothing. I worked hard to build this profile, to make this website something that people come back to time and time again. It’s been a project out of love, frustration, anger, fear, anxiety, depression, sadness, misery, and yes, fucking joy.

I love this site and I never want to give it up, but I also recognize that I can’t just write for free forever. I have to make a shift, and so while I am not currently asking for mutual aid for myself, I am supporting campaigns that are, in the best way that I am able.

I profile the campaigns of my friends, fans, followers, and even some random strangers who ask me to, because I remember when total strangers did the exact same for me.

When we say “Protect your wealth,” we’re not the same people telling wealthy people to protect their wealth. I am so utterly livid at Ellen DeGeneres right now. She could afford to support 811 for the rest of her life without ever missing a dime, but instead, she’d rather point fingers and scream about how awful it is that 811 is being defunded, without actually trying to help.

It’s giving Ian Sommerhalder during the massive oil spill that affected New Orleans, “Won’t someone please help the animals…” and in the next breath he’s “sitting on the Riviera with mummy,” I will never forget that and yes, direct fucking quote from more than fifteen years ago. I’m a fucking elephant bitch, I never fucking forget when idiot celebrities do idiot shit.

If you’re someone who has made money on teaching teenagers about kindness, or women about love, or any amount of money has come your way because the masses believe in you, then yes, you absolutely have a responsibility to step up and protect that public when they need you the most.

The reason that so many people admire men like Luigi Mangione and Rodney L Hinton isn’t because they are homicidal maniacs with the desire to kill. It’s because these men represent what the people have been saying for over a century.

The governmental powers are rigged against the people, and once you become one of those people in government, you often forget the folks who got you there, same way celebrities forget all the PEOPLE who made them celebrities to begin with.

Rich, white, healthy politicians are not going to save you. No matter how many times they promise you that they are different, no matter how many times they swear they are going to be about change, no one who wants that kind of power is going to be genuine.

That’s the way the world works. The sooner that people of the community start running for office, the sooner that we start elevating folks actually doing the work, the better the society will be.

I have personally seen Mutual aid help folks get wheelchairs, housing, food, clothing, work, fall in love, solve dental problems, I’ve seen mutual aid change the lives of thousands of people over the last thirty years I’ve been online and I can honestly tell you, that saying it doesn’t is far more harmful than getting scammed for five dollars.

I am livid at anyone who tries to divide folks in this time of urgent need. Right now, I genuinely believe humans are being tested, and no it’s not about being “On the right side of history,” it’s about being on the right side of right fucking now.

It’s about making sure that when you budget your monthly spending, you add in there a five-dollar caveat for someone in need. Why? Because you can, and in doing s,o you might change someone’s fucking entire God damned life.

I remember when I was a child and people in BC would tell me about not giving change in Vancouver, because the moment you do you’ll be broke in less time than it takes to take your next breath…and while that certainly may be true, I also find it difficult not to say “Sure here’s a dollar,” when someone asks…if I have it, which I rarely do.

When I was working, everyone knew that once a month, I would go to McDonald’s and put down a fifty for the people behind me…why? Because, as crass as it may sound, no one ever did that for me, and I just thought maybe if I did it for others, I’d feel good…and as it turns out, I was right. Was that selfish of me?

Sure, maybe, but in the end, a bunch of people got free shit because I felt like being kind, and they have no idea who I am, but I like to think every once in a while, some of them wonder about me.

I know that I often wonder about the people who helped me. I wonder if they are okay, if they have what they need, and more importantly, if they are still able to help others or if they need help themselves. I’m even in contact with some of the folks who helped me.

I realize that no one gets anywhere alone, and for a lot of people it’s hard to find help in their offline, non-digital communities. I also know that I have seen the Disability Twitter, Threads, and Social Media communities come together to help raise billions for those who need it the most.

So the next time you accuse anyone in Gaza of being a grifter, I want you to stop and think about why we’re not seeing photos of the atrocities anymore. It’s not because they aren’t happening still, it’s because the people there are so busy begging for aid, they have collectively decided, the world doesn’t care, because when they do ask, they get accused of being grifters.

Just some things to think about.

Sending all my love,

Devon J Hall, The Original Loud Mouth Brown Girl