It’s been a while since I’ve done one of these, and I’ve been struggling to write about anything lately, so I thought I would talk about some of the goals I want to accomplish in 2024.
Now that I am housed and safe, and in a place of healing, I want more of it. At first, I admit I was very afraid because, to be honest with you, when you’re finally safe, you don’t fully trust it at first.
But I said at the beginning of this journey, I was going to follow it no matter where it leads until I’m done, which I hope isn’t for a very, very long time.
These days I’ve been thinking a lot about going back to work. But I want to do it differently this time. When I started working at the church I was cleaning toilets. I worked my way up to creating programs, and eventually, I started counseling some folks who needed someone to talk to.
I worked my way up and learned as I went on the ropes, but it shouldn’t have been that way. I could have helped more people, more effectively, had the training I needed been in place.
This time I want to go in, being at least slightly prepared for what I am going to have to deal with. Since I left the mental health world in 2018, the drugs that people are doing have only gotten more toxic and volatile. The behaviors that support workers are seeing is more violent than it’s ever been before.
There are more sex workers than there ever have been before, and they are seeing a lot less support than they did in the past.
Things have changed, and across the board, things are getting worse, more people are dying than ever before.
This is why I’ve decided I want to work with clients who are like me. I want to work with folks who have been so badly traumatized, that no one else will work with them, because I know what it feels like, to not be heard.
I know what it feels like to be raped by cult men, and gang men, and have no one believe you. I understand trauma deeply and personally, but what I need to learn, is how to cope with that trauma so that I can help others.
My goal for 2024 is to finish my newest book. I need to go through and do some editing, add some essays, and finish it up, but I’d like number 3 to be released soon Probably in April.
I would like to also find a counseling program that will teach me coping skills so that I can learn positive techniques to deal with my triggers. I know I wrote a book about getting to know yourself, but this research will be different, it’s entirely learning about how to function.
For a decade and more, I worked at a church and all my needs were met, as long as I didn’t talk about the abuse. But as soon as I started to support the LGBTQ2S+ community, they decided to shun me. I am looking to work with folks who have been shunned by their community for any reason, but especially for the crime of being different.
I want to learn these skills, so I can beef up my knowledge base. I know that I am meant to help people learn to heal, more so than I am intended to be a healer. I understand the difference now and I am much more comfortable teaching others how to find or build their foundation, than I am as a “presence,” in the world.
I love this blog and I want it to be a big part of 2024, but I also realize that pulling back towards work means that you may not see me so much in 2024.
I am not going to apologize for that, because I’ve given y’all six hard, amazing, beautiful, transformative years. But it’s time to add to my repertoire as they say.
I Want to study Cannabis some more. So I’ll be taking more classes on cannabis, the plant, the science behind the plant, and the different flavors of cannabis. Because when I start working with clients in the next 2-3 years, I want to have a well-rounded education.
I think you can believe me after all these years when I tell you 99.9% of all these blog posts have been written while I was stoned – and I’m leaving a tiny room, for error there, just in case.
Now that I am in this place of healing, I want to explore it some more. Today I asked someone to gather up some resources for me so I can find some counseling options, as well as some therapy options, and trauma training educations. There are whole-ass colleges that have never met clients like me, who need to understand that women like me, exist.
It’s important for me to be one of the few biracial Black women out there talking about mental health. I understand this topic like very few people, and because I’ve already been speaking about it publically, I’m comfortable sharing my story in ways that no longer trigger me, and won’t trigger my audience.
The only reason I am in this place, the only reason I can say anything about any of this, is because of all of you who have followed me through all these years.
If it wasn’t for this space I wouldn’t be alive, and that means each and every single one of you who helped me build this audience, are the reason I’m still here. So thank you.
Thank you for reading, for watching, for checking on me in the streets, and for making sure I had a roof over my head during the hardest time in my life.
Sending all my love,
Devon J Hall
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If you’d like to read more of Devon’s work, check them out in the following publications.
Loud Mouth Brown Girl 
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