I Would Not Be Here Today If Not For The Internet And Mutual Aid
It’s been almost a year and a half, I think, since Tinu died. Time has little meaning if I am being honest. Because of the abusers and the drugs they gave me, I don’t clock time, the way an average person does. But it’s been a minute since I lost my friend.
When Tinu was alive, she helped me raise almost $2000 when I was unhoused.
That money allowed me to put out a book, while living in a hotel, as well as pay for hotel rooms, cannabis to keep me sane, and food to keep me fed.
It may not seem like a lot of money to many of you, but to me at the time, it was a fortune.
Never in a million years as a child did I think to myself “One day I am going to grow up and beg for free money on the internet.”
But two things did actually happen to me:
One: I did grow up to do exactly that.
Two: I work my ass off to provide tons of free content all over these interwebs so…is the resulting money I receive really free?
The truth is Mutual Aid Is More About Building Community Than It Is About Raising Money, But Some Folks Only See Dollar Signs.
When you see folks online saying stuff like:
STOP HERE, THIS IS A MUTUAL AID CHECK POINT
What they are doing is literally saying “Hi, if you need help, then share your request and let people help you.”
The thing is, it’s not much different than panhandling, or doing street art for a bit of change, but rather than give grace, too many people are prepared – but also eager – to be cruel when kindness is most needed.
I remember having nothing but the three or four bags I could carry, I remember the fear, and humiliation that came with sitting on the sidewalk with all my worldly posessions.
And I remember when I needed them the most, when I was just beginning to find my identity, the church not only shunned me, but erased everything that reminded that community I existed.
It was the internet that had my back. It was Anonymous who to this day protects me from men that would kill me if they thought they could get away with it.
It’s a collection of men, women, trans and non-binary people of all ethnic cultures, races, creeds, nationalities, sizes, that follow, support, and keep me fed.
I am not lucky. I earned this. I suffered, I struggled, and when I was finally let up for air, I asked for help.
I worked towards where I am now, but I had help along the way. Every bit of help I had, I asked for. And not always did the help that I asked for, come in a way that was what I expected or wanted, but it was most certainly what I needed, to save my own life.
Not all of us are called to moments of having to be our own hero, but when we are, having the cushion of community can make a world of difference.
In this day and age, when so many people are giving so little, there is a lot you can do. Not everyone is asking you in particular to donate, sometimes all you can do is share and ask your audience, so do that.
Some people aren’t even looking for money. Some people are asking for food, clothing, clean housing. I remember once a woman from California was struggling to get housing help.
As soon as I said that I was her advocate and that I was calling from Canada doors opened up for her. Now she, her mother, and her child are and have been happily housed for years.
I didn’t have to raise a dollar, I just had to use my skills to help her navigate a system that deliberately shut her down.
Your voice, your Tweet, your Thread, your Instagram post, can be the one that changes the life of someone abroad, someone you may never even meet or talk to again.
All it takes is for you to have the courage AND grace to say “I can help here.”
Sometimes it’s hard to believe that it will be you in the position of needing help, I worked at a church for years, and it was my job to find housing for people who had none.
Eventually I ended up unhoused myself, so I know how easily it can happen to anyone.
When I was at Catholic school, there were a lot of stupid rules, like don’t talk about abuse, but a good rule was “The Golden Rule”.
Even though none of us adhered to it, or rather my bullies didn’t, I loved it because I believed it was simple but fair.
Treat Others The Way You Want To Be Treated
It’s really not that complicated. And yet for too many, right-wing leaning white people, the concept of treating folks the way they want to be treated, is completely obscured from their abilities.
Tribal mentality convinces folk to “Stay in their lane,” it tells them the tribe is safe, comfortable, and should be protected at all costs. This is a dangerous string that can be traced directly to white supremacy and further back to the Puritans who believed anything not them must be destroyed.
White supremacy is the reason for slavery, colonization, and the weaponization of Christianity.
Jesus was the most charitable man of his time, often going days on end without eating to provide for the twelve who followed him.
And yet many who claim to follow him also live by ridiculous statements and mantras like “The Jews will not replace us,” and “Not in My Back Yard” which is absolutely disgusting on both counts.
While we Black, Brown, Indigenous, Disabled, Trans, Non-binary, Queer, Community activists are busy building community you’re pointing out out how our work is pointless, even as you benefit from our labour.
Hmph.
I dunno I just feel like if you really believe that internet community has no merit,you should get off the web and save the bandwidth for someone who does.
Sending all my love,
Anonymous
Loud Mouth Brown Girl 