Loud Mouth Brown Girl

I don’t think even doctors are fully aware that people are not “Born” with mental health issues. We are taught to have mental health issues by witnessing the behavioural patterns of those around us.

From what I am able to remember, I was mostly a happy child until I wasn’t. And the reason I wasn’t was that I didn’t have the words to say “The bad men hurt me…” and no one, and I mean -no one- asked.

I was in and out of the hospital all the time as a child. For ADHD. Not one doctor recognized the signs of sexual abuse, and I can only guess it’s because no one at that time considered the fact that pedophiles were everywhere.

The church, the school, the hospital, the doctor’s office, the dentist’s office, the gym teacher, the priest, every fucking where I looked, there was another abuser. Some were my age, others were older, and most were grown.

But they were all there, and I couldn’t escape fast enough, and the more that it happened, the angrier I got, the less I talked about what was bothering me and when people asked, I would just shrug, because what in the unholy fuck was I going to say? I DID NOT KNOW THE WORDS “RAPE,” “TORTURE,” “ABUSE.”

Those were words I learned as an adult, words I learned after the fact, when it was too late to stop it, and too much time had passed for anyone to care.

Now, when you look at my situation, I want you to take a step back. Look at the bigger picture.

I can honestly say I have been sexually abused by at least one hundred people. At least.

How many others can say the same? A lot of you reading this will think to yourselves, “Well, that’s not common,” or “No, I can’t say the same,” or “Not many can say that has happened to them.”

However, the truth is that many, many, many people around the world can say they’ve been put in uncomfortable, awful, terrible positions by men and women, more than fifty times. At least.

In knowing that, it’s time to acknowledge that child abuse is prolific in this country. Let’s look at the statistics, shall we?

Key Statistics & Findings (Late 2024/Early 2025)

• Family Violence: In 2024, parents were the most common perpetrators (61%) of family violence against children, often physical assault (57%), though sexual offences were also significant (33%).
• Police-Reported CSAM: A 15% decrease in police-reported child pornography incidents was noted for 2024, though this followed a 54% surge in 2023, with a terminology change to CSAM (Child Sexual Abuse Material) coming in October 2025.
• Prevalence (2022 Data): A significant study published in early 2025 found 34.4% of Canadians experienced any child abuse by age 15, an increase from a decade prior, with higher rates among younger generations and those identifying as non-heterosexual.
• Maltreatment Types: Physical/sexual abuse by adults, emotional abuse/neglect, and witnessing intimate partner violence are common forms, with higher risks for certain demographics, according to Statistique Canada. 

Key Statistics & Trends

• High Prevalence: Almost one-third (around 30%) of British Columbians reported experiencing childhood victimization (physical/sexual abuse).
• MCFD Reports: In 2024/25, MCFD received over 50,000 child protection reports involving about 55,000 children, with roughly 4,800 children in care in late 2024.
• Types of Abuse: Physical assault is common, but non-physical abuse (emotional, exposure to violence) is also significant; national studies show over half of Canadians experience some form of maltreatment.
• Vulnerable Groups: Females are more likely to experience sexual abuse, while non-physical abuse is more common among females and specific age groups.
• Online Exploitation: A major concern is the surge in online sexual exploitation, with sextortion reports up 150% and luring reports up 815% nationally in recent years. 

I haven’t looked up the stats for every province, but I did find that the stats point to the fact that abuse rates are much higher in the north than they are out west, which is a concerning trend.

More and more women, boys, girls, and men, are coming forward because in 2025 we have the language we didn’t have in 1987.

We know what to say and we know how to prevent child abuse in all it’s ugly and gross forms and yet, so many of us are shrugging our shoulders.

Yesterday I pointed out a specific case that had nothing to do with anything other than me trying to say “There’s more to the story,” and people kept saying “But he’s been charged, arrested, convicted, it’s over now…”

Not for us it’s not.

Jails, institutions, and death, do not end the trauma that we have to live with every single day after we’ve been violated.

And too many people in power, think they have the answers, when they have absolutely no concept of how bad things really can and do get.

I think now that I am here, this year I want to highlight Artists, yes, but I also want to showcase the fact that children are powerful and resiliant creatures, who shouldn’t have to be powerful and resiliant creatures.

They should be free to enjoy the majick and wanderlust of childhood, and yet too many of us are forced to become adults, before we’re allowed to be kids.

And when we do grow up and do all the things that we wanted to do as kids but weren’t allowed or were prevented from doing, then we’re called childish and told to grow up.

At what point do we just get the space and autonomy we need to spread our wings?

As I was writing this post, I decided to go for a smoke. As soon as I got outside in the cold and the fog, I just wanted to walk. I woke up this morning pissed off, out of my soul angry, because I didn’t sleep well.

And when I don’t sleep well I think. When I think, I see the little girl inside of me still being abused begging for it to stop. I feel like I am in an never ending cycle of emotional abuse from men that are no longer a part of my life.

You’ve been gone so long now, but the damage you caused will take a life time for me to fix.

I asked recently friends on Threads, “If you could put a dollar amount to the amount of trauma you’ve experienced as a child, how much would it take to “Make it better?” “, the answer? The largest amount someone came up with was fifty billion dollars.

But at the end of the day, the dollars don’t make up for the time. Money doesn’t make you happy, we’ve seen that with the #MeToo movement, we saw that with the #WomensMarch.

Money doesn’t make you happy, it makes it easier to forget all the reasons you suffered and struggled. It makes you comfortable and in some cases, complicit to the pain of others, whether you mean to or not.

I don’t want to be the girl who cried rape, I want to be the girl that taught OTHER girls, sexual and traumatic violation isn’t a lifetime achievement that anyone should be expected to live with.

Until the WHITE community acknowledges that there are very real cults in this country, very real grooming gangs, very real kidnappings of women and girls – especially Black, Indigenous, Asian, East Asian women, we are never going to have the equity that we deserve.

Until all girls are free, no girls are free, period.

In honor of Diamente K,

Devon J Hall,

The Original Loud Mouth Brown Girl