Trigger Warning
If you or someone you know needs help, please use this page to find a helpline phone number in your area. If you can’t find it on this list, please use any search engine worldwide. You are not alone.
Trigger Warning
It’s because You’ve heard me say my story and you want more insight. Well, thank you for that, I appreciate your curiosity.
This is a project I’ve been working on for the last five, almost six years now. During the creation of this project, Loud Mouth Brown Girl, myself, and my wheelchair-using mother were houseless for 3 months and 3 weeks. This website is still up because I received almost but not quite, $2000 in donations that allowed me to continue working on the website, while we looked for a place to live.
I started this website because I was tired of being the “only” Black girl in the room. I was tired and I didn’t have any Black friends outside of my white church community, except for Nicole, who also didn’t have a wide circle of Black friends. We were the only two, which is why I think we became friends, but certainly not why we stayed friends.
The Vancouver, BC Black community is out there, and it’s vast, but it’s so rare to see Black women sitting on a corner, having a coffee, or smoking a cigarette. So hard to find Black women unless you grew up with them, in a city where they hide from the world because the world’s made it clear they don’t want us.
I was alone, the one Roma girl who was also Black, surrounded by vampires and demons, without a slayer in sight. I’m what happens when the demons don’t kill the innocent girl. I’m not a slayer, not a witch, not really, just a person trying to navigate a world that tells me I’m not allowed to.
I am the Loud Mouth Brown Girl because a white cop thought it was okay and appropriate during a mental health crisis, to call me a Loud Mouth Brown Bitch. I told him I would take that and use it to inspire Black women across the globe, and as it turns out, Black women are the ones inspiring me.
I am one of a handful of Black women talking openly about mental health, but I am the only one I know of in Canada, talking about it on such a wide varied stage with such a huge audience made up of folks from all over the world.
I have an amazing audience, filled with variety, beauty, spice, and talent, and each of the people who reach out to me, become friends if they want to. From Debra who paid for my first year of study when I wanted to study the cannabis plant through Healer.com, to Stephen Coghlan, who wrote the foreword to my first book, “In His Words,” for this website and still has the cover art I made for his website.
I have made truly wonderful friends; Nada Chehade, KS Hernandez, Arturo Dominguez, Doctor Ashley Perkins, just to name a few, who have bought my books, heard my story, and supported my goal of freeing all women from domestic abuse, gang rape, and the torture that comes with both.
We as people deserve to be free, we choose the bear because we know the bear will kill us, but maybe we’ll get a chance to escape, plenty of folks have. The man? We have no idea what you’ll do us, but after all the stories we’ve heard our imagination won’t allow us to be surprised very often when we hear “Man attacks woman,” we know. We already know.
The days of women staying silent are over. And they should be over. No woman has ever deserved to be free, like the women of our past. The women of our past were burned, branded, raped, and forced to breed the children of their abusers or raise the children of their husband’s rape escapades.
Being a woman on this planet shouldn’t be so exhausting. Yes, there is violence in the Black, Disabled, LGBTQ2S+ Jewish, and Trans community, but it’s nowhere near as high as in the “Cis white male” category.
We suffer at the hands of white men every fucking day, of men, period. Men are dangerous creatures, I want you to know that, to believe that, and to understand that they can be taught to be different.
Each of us has something inside of us, burning to get out. Whether you are an artist or you have a brain that is more scientific, there is a language spoken in art, that only other artists can understand.
That’s why I design the clothes I do, it’s why I write the way I do, and it’s why after everything NXIVM put me and thousands of others through, I am still here.
I will not stop speaking out against gang rape, against gangsters, and making space for people to come forward but I really can’t keep doing it alone any longer.
I’m not asking you to share my work, I am asking you to share your stories. If you’ve learned nothing from Lady A and myself, let it be that telling your story can change another person’s life.
Sending all my love,
Devon J Hall, The Loud Mouth Brown Girl
Loud Mouth Brown Girl 