Loud Mouth Brown Girl

Okay so here’s the thing.

About eleven years ago, I had this dream that I was floating in the universe, all Stargate style. But like, I was “In” the gate, in the middle of neither here nore there, and I heard this voice say “He has to win.” I should have said “The fuck he does,” but instead I woke up, pissed off.

I’d take that moment back, I’d fight harder, I just need more time in that moment, but I can’t, because here we are, and he’s fucking POTUS again, because American’s didn’t and don’t learn their lesson the first fucking time.

Now African American soldiers who joined up because they never thought they’d have to lift their weapons, are doing so towards people who look just like them. Trump is making enemies of American soldiers, who can’t or won’t fight back because yes, they know exactly what they have to lose.

Then there’s ICE, the guys who weren’t fit for the Armed Services, because they’re all racist, homophobic, women beaters, who molest children – and yes this is a proven fact – an ICE agent was recently charged with crimes against children including having and distributing child porn.

If I can see it, so can you, but too many of you are too afraid to look back. Yeah I have a safe living environment. But for how long?

I’m mentally incapable of holding onto a job, and this is a proven fact, as I’ve been fired or let go from every job I’ve ever had – except the church – where I was fired so they could “Go in a different direction.”

Writing isn’t my fallback, it’s all I have. So with my entire fucking chest:

Free Palestine Free Sudan Free Congo The DRC Haiti Zimbabwe and for the love of all that is Holy Uyghurstan among other places.

Free the world from it’s absolutely demented need to support Israel, and it’s absolutely abhorrent on American politics. America is not the center of the earth, the worst they could do is threaten to use Nuclear weapons, because any sane government in the world would immediately have that POTUS in arms.

There’s nothing America can do if we as a society stop depending on their rule of law for our moral compass.

In the song Labour Paris Paloma sings “It’s not an act of love if you make her.” Do you really love your country if you’re sitting back and letting it fall into ruin?

And puhfuckinglease save me the “Kamala would have been better,” she openly – and repeatedly – stated she was in support of Israel’s war on Hamas which has resulted in an all out genocide on the people of Palestine and Gaza in particular in a variety of horrific unseen and unheard of ways.

In Congo the children don’t have access to cellphones, and yet it’s because of their SLAVE labour that we have these communication devices that allow us to sit back and talk about how bad it is for everyone else, while we do very little to actually help.

Talking isn’t enough anymore. Taking to the streets isn’t enough anymore. You have to take those outright loud and viciously proud morals and put them where your money is.

Right now on social media women of color, and Black women are being attacked because they aren’t focusing their energies on building communities that support Mutual Aid alone anymore.

And that’s because right-wing anti-Black folks have gotten into the Mutual Aid hashtags, ask for money and then go and say the most out of pocket racist shit, expecting that we’re just going to hand over our hard earned dollars.

Mutual aid online has become a fucking cesspool, which means the people who really need help aren’t going to get it. Just like Tinu – may she rest in Power – predicted.

When “Anonymous” rose to power it was fun. I remember distinctly making really amazing friends all over the world, always wanting to ask more, but never doing so because I wasn’t tech savvy enough to encrypt my rigs the way they were. Which meant my computers – and our conversations – were vulnerable.

And so I didn’t. I know many of them are out there watching today, wondering why the message didn’t get through some of y’alls thick skulls, but for all the jokes there was a serious to the power of anonymous.

Taking off the mask was the message: “Now go forth and act.” And yet some of y’all are just taking you’re not acting to build community, you’re suctioning it dry like a fucking vampire.

Not even a good vampire because when you get caught you bend down, curl up and cry like a baby. “Wha, this Black woman is being mean to me.” No, bitch, she called you out on your shit because she’s tired of her work, her ethic, and her worth, being taken advantage of, by people who are already prioritized over her purely because they ain’t got her fabulosity.

Right now – well, actually, I can’t tell you what’s happening in the DRC, except to say women, girls, even boys and men, are being stolen, raped, murdered en masse, or turned into soldiers and child brides against their will. Other than that, there’s very little news about what’s happening.

Sudan is experiencing an entire ass war right now that my Western mind can’t even begin to understand without deep research.

While I understand “Trauma Fatigue,” I fully get you’re tired of “doom scrolling,” and seeing all the sad stories – even I am guilty of forcing myself to watch at least twenty minutes of uplifting content at the end of the day – we have to remember, during work hours, we can sacrifice some time to look at what’s happening in the world.

Some of you – nurses, doctors, front line staffers – are doing the fucking thing. You’re busting your ass day in day out, working sometimes in 24 hour shifts, at the hospital and in your private practice, to provide the best possible care.

However, some of you are selfish fucking dicks who need a God Damn reality check.

I’m here because I am living below the poverty line, not because I won the fucking lottery. I was living in an office before I got here, so if you think that I don’t understand poverty, please please please save me from your comments before they begin.

Even when I was unhoused, I continued to use my platform to advocate and resource hunt, and news spread. It’s possible while you’re sitting at work watching possum videos to spread a little light and love in the world.

It’s also possible to take a break and respect the fact that just because you have privilege, you are not suddenly a “bad person,”. You’re a person with a little bit of something that other’s don’t have.

You may not be ready to share it, that’s okay too. You’re allowed to be a little selfish, just remember, what goes around, comes around. Every damned time.

Sending all my love,

Devon J Hall, The Original Loud Mouth Brown Girl