Loud Mouth Brown Girl

On the day after Halloween, I was taking down the decorations in the event room in my building, and I fell off the chair I had climbed on, and both dislocated and broke my ankle.

So yes, I have a brand new, and probably annoying to you, reality when it comes to disability. I have never been *this* disabled before. I have never had to roll around in a wheelchair, I’ve never struggled with falling over the way I do now, and I’ve never been afraid to get in and out of the shower.

Now with all this being said, I have absolutely everything I need:

• Roof over my head
• Wheelchair that my BFF bought me so that I didn’t have to hop everywhere on crutches
• A brand new wheelchair from a local organization
• crutches
• food
• family, friends, and allies

Check check, double check, I have all of that and none matters. Because when you are disabled people do not listen to you the way they would if you had full use of your limbs.

It’s like you become this last-class citizen that people don’t want to deal with because you’re an obvious reminder, that it can happen to anyone.

It’s exhausting being disabled, it’s also lonely. Friends want people they can keep up with, or that can keep up with them, they don’t want to be held back, and while MY friends are amazing, it’s harder when I can’t just get up and go, then when I could.

It takes me ten minutes to get ready to leave the house instead of just grabbing my keys and going. I have to make sure that I have all the things I need, in case something goes wrong.

I am even more aware now, that my mental health disabilities, and my physical disabilities, are not excuses. I can bathe myself, I can cook for myself, but as per usual I struggle with cleaning, but that’s mostly because it’s hard to maneuver the wheelchair around the house and do the dishes at the same time.

Yes, I have struggles, and yes sometimes I cry and I feel sorry for myself, but then I keep going, because as Nada Chehade once famously said, “What the fuck else am I going to do?”

Sending all my love,

Devon J Hall

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Since I broke my ankle, I am not going to be able to work for months and months. Stopping by my shop to buy yourself something beautiful means you love me. Thank you so much for your support. Click the link above to visit the shop.