I think we’ve come to a place now where we can genuinely talk about sex. I say this because a lot of people wonder how you can have beautiful satisfying sex with yourself, while other people think that victims of abuse shouldn’t have the ability to enjoy sex.
First, we have to define what sex means because there are several definitions that are all fucking stupid.
To religious folk sex is about procreation, its only function is to create new children for the religious leaders to control and destroy. And you can’t get mad because 10 billion years of history have proven this fact over and over again.
Women everywhere look at Cardi B and think that because she’s rich and famous she hasn’t seen some shit, but just like women everywhere Cardi B knows precisely what it’s like to hear a man make beautiful promises and turn that into a pile of shit that destroys every promise.
Men do that shit all the time and then we say shit like “men are so stupid,” and it’s because they fucking are. They’re idiots.
They think genuinely that they can control women, through violence, through trauma, through forcing women to believe that they need nothing but the men in their lives, but if a man could have made my life better, he and they had 39 years to do it and my life is only MORE destroyed because I spent so many years searching for “the man,” who would protect me and keep me safe.
I’m still being stalked and harassed, and many people think “well clearly it’s the gangsters that she used to roll with,” trust I STILL roll with my family, we’ve just changed the way that we’re attacking the grown-ass men that raped us and turned us into sex slaves and gangsters.
If You Want A Man To Keep His Word, Give Him a Reason To
There is nothing on this planet that a man can do for me, that any woman couldn’t do for themselves, but we’re so convinced and conditioned that we BELIEVE to think that women MUST have men or a partner period for that matter to be happy, that we’ve convinced ourselves that we should be miserable alone when in reality we should revel in the freedom.
Women used to be very independent creatures, but the only time we get to exercise that independence is when men fail to live up to the job, OR when men are needed elsewhere.
From gangsters to politicians or celebrities, the only time women get to exercise true freedom is when they don’t have a man around telling them what to do and sitting on their asses drinking beer or smoking weed while we clean the fucking house and take care of the kids.
This past weekend a lot of women were asking me how I got this phone number or that email, and i just laugh and smile and watch them shake their heads in fear. “She can have any woman she wants because the men do nothing but drool when they’re around her. She’s fat, her legs are hairy, and her teeth are broken from abuse and men are STILL smiling her way…what the fuck…” What’s that about you ask?
These men don’t want ME, in particular, they want the idea of me, someone whose willing to do whatever it takes to protect her family, while simultaneously doing all the work she can, to remind the world that she’s got this.
Most women who are beautiful – or classically beautiful – are surrounded by men drooling over them.
I was on a train once when I heard “I love meta, bikes and guns,” chick was hot the men she was with were pathetic, we – both her and I, love the same shit, but they’re drooling over her because she’s classically beautiful, cool, but can she pick up a gun and go to war if the need arises? Can You?
Can she cook, clean, and take care of your babies, sure? Can she think for herself? That’s incredibly debatable, because most women who only have the idea of being a wife and mother, who think of nothing else but being a wife or mother, are thinking in the box that they think will bring them the most happiness.
For some women, it’s absolutely true, until they go nuts and kill everyone around them because they’ve found that being a mom is ALL they have and that the reason they can’t do anything else, is because they don’t know how to do anything else.
Yes, women need men, and men need women, but we also need experience, challenge, education, we need friendship, and we don’t need to worry about what vessel those friendships come in, so long as they do show us the way that we’re looking for so that we don’t get lost in being just 1 thing.
I am not a wife, I am not a wifey, I am not a girlfriend, a lover, to anyone, unless “I” want to be, and it took literally YEARS like 39 fucking years for me to be able to say that because I didn’t know how to say no, and it took me years to realize that the only reason that I CAN say no, is because I fucking had to fight for permission to say no.
The Right To Say No Is A Human Right Unless You’re A Woman, A Man, An #LGBTQ2S+ Survivor. and Warrior, Unless Unless Unless Unless Unless…
2 Days ago, I got off the phone with my psych nurse, who told me it wasn’t her job to save my life, it WAS her job, and ask me if I wanted to go to the hospital. A lot of people might ask why I’d risk my safety and my mental health to stay in the mess of my life, instead of going to the hospital where I MIGHT be safe for maybe a day or three before he/she/they/them comes the fuck back.
Why the fuck after 6 and a half years of writing this blog about staying strong – why with the words Stay Strong on my wrist, would I run from this fight, when the only way to decide who you’re going to be, is to jump as hard and as fast as you possibly can, in order to prove that the right to say No is yours whenever you’re ready to claim it.
As a child I was told, and assumed that everyone knew that “no,” means “no,” but it didn’t occur to me that there were other people out there, calling themselves doctors, lawyers, teachers, and all kinds of stupid “I know better because I went to university or college,” shit people, saying the exact opposite.
Instinct Is The Thing That Will Save Your Life if You Actually Listen To It
When I was 16, I was raped. We all know the story. I looked in. the mirror and knew that for the first time in my life I was making a choice, not to be raped, but to let myself be in the position of being the ONE to be raped so that it wouldn’t be someone else.
It took more than 20 fucking years for that truth to come out and the reason that it’s coming out now is that the men who raped me at 15, 16, and even before and after that, were and continue in some ways, to be a part of the same fucking cult that destroyed and continues to destroy the lives of millions of women, children, men, and everyone in between, a year.
The man who raped me has gone completely crazy now, the drugs, the years of conditioning that he faced because he was told who to be and how to be there, destroyed his life.
The last time I heard he was found dancing in Vancouver, having lost his mind, completely and utterly lost to the reality that I live in, because well…he raped a girl – he fucked around and found the fuck out what happens when a girl is forced to grow up too fast and refuses to forget.
Maybe choosing to put me out there to a man I suspected might have been a rapist was not a great idea, but at least in this particular way the several young girls that hung out at the pool hall I met him at, were safe because they didn’t go for the rapist, they went for the guy with the better car.
Human beings are hardwired to choose: The best cars, the money, the beauty, the sparkle, over the dirt and the grime because honestly we are genetically exhausted from the same fight that our ancestors have been fighting for centuries. So if we just get rich, then life will be better, so who cares if we have fuck a man to get there, as long as we making bank, right?
As a child of sexual abuse and cult rape, it’s hard for me to imagine myself as a sex worker, but at the same time, there’s no one I respect more than sex workers and it’s only because I know, and I only know this because they taught me so, that sex WORK is not about SEX.
When I started this site, I wrote a page called Sex Work vs Exploitation: Sex Work Is Not Exploitation, and Exploitation is Not Sex Work.
As time went on, people got to know me and thought yup “THIS is Devon for sure,” but as my writing began to change, and I got more vocal about anti-gang culture, people started to cheer me on. And then I told gangsters and rapists everywhere to go to SexDolls.Com and buy a sex doll because they CLEARLY do not want to be with a woman.
It was a post I got paid $500 dollars to write, a few words on why sex dolls are actually good, and it occurred to me…I fucking hate sex dolls. They are the exact opposite of everything that a true woman is.
A sex doll can make your dick feel good but can it touch your soul? Sure buy a sex doll if that’s what you want, but if you want someone to engage your mind make your soul twitch and wonder why the world is the way it is what you want is a woman and the only way to prove you DESERVE to be with a woman OR someone who is #LGBTQ2S+ who will do these things for you, then you have to decide.
Do you want a lifeless plastic box that you can fuck? OR do you want a partner, a person whose willing to go to the very center of Hell to prove that the person she/he/they/them want to love, is the person they NEED to love?
Women – and girls especially – are focused so much in small communities to believe that the only way to find a true happily ever after is to have a MAN by their side, but what you really want is someone whose going to go to war beside you while hiding in the shadows just to see what’s going to happen.
What you really want is a guy who roleplays as a demon, who fights as a man who understands that the power of his mind isn’t in his dick or in how much money he can make, but in how he can best serve at the pleasure of the team that he lives with.
It’s not about having a solider anymore, it’s not about having a partner, it’s about understanding that many of us women and girls are living in trauma, and as we ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS say, if you aren’t willing to look at my mess, and do what you can to help me destroy the demons, so that I can focus on MY safety and MY protection then you’re just one more person I have to take care of and frankly my list is long enough.
So, ladies, if. you want to ensure that the man or person whose laying beside you first finds out which part of their body they think with.
You can be the best hacker in the world, but if at the end of the day your person decides to stray it’s going to be because you’re so focused on getting money and believing that money=happiness, love, respect, education, and power, you aren’t really and truly focused on the things that matter.
Sending all our love,
Krisya Ohana
Loud Mouth Brown Girl 