I mean that with my full chest, I want rainbows on every corner, I want unicorns that poop rainbows on every other corner, and elongated rainbow cats everywhere in between.
I can’t honestly say with one hundred percent certainty, that there is not abuse in the Queer community, because I know there is, and I’ve seen it.
But I can say that it’s much less likely to happen in a community that is constantly on watch for such things, than in communities where when it happens, the injured party is the one to be shunned.
When I was a child, I saw two white, male presenting people, holding hands while walking down the street. My mother’s at the time boyfriend called it “Disgusting.” It was the first time I acknowledged to myself, that I was seeing something “Beautiful.” I knew the difference, without anyone having to explain it to me, your kids will too.
I Deliberately Celebrate The Queer, The Transgender, Gay, Bisexual, Non-Binary, A-Sexual, Lesbian People Who Have Had To Hide Their Whole Lives Because Hiding Meant The Difference Between Life and Death.
It would be decades before I attended my first Pride Parade. I went with my friend R, her close friends, and her parents, both of whom were women.
It was the best day of my life, and not because I saw naked people dancing down the street, but because I saw people who in their ordinary lives might have to hide, showcasing everything they have been hiding for the whole world to see.
I decided a long time ago to love myself wholly, and purposefully, because I knew damned well that given who I am and what I’ve been through, no one else can.
Ghey People Struggle With Mental Health issues. Not Because We Want To, But Because The world Tries To Break Us Down for Being Queer, As If We Can Control Who We Become As We Evolve.
We deserve to exist. The thing is, that our existence makes other people uncomfortable. They tell themselves lies, to make themselves more comfortable with our existence, if we are the enemy, then they have somewhere and someone to focus their evil upon, it’s not their fault, they have no control. That’s what they’ll tell you.
I’ve never dated a woman. Not because I don’t want to, and not even because “The right one isn’t out there,” it’s because I was conditioned to believe, that being with anyone other than a male counterpart, was going to get me sent to Hell.
I’ve never had a queer person pretend with me. I am not saying that Queer people don’t pretend with others, but I am saying it’s never happened with me. I’ve had the privilege of being able to meet the Queer folks in my life, where they are at, and vice versa.
Today is a landmark day in USA politics, and it matters, because the harder that the Americans fight for something, the more that people like say, Canadians, follow suit.
Today SCOTUS Said “No” To Appealing Same-Sex Marriage Law
Today’s landmark decision means that millions of same-sex couples, will be able to do what they’ve always wanted to do, be married, and stay married, to the person they love.
In Canada, Same-Sex marriage has only been codified law, since 2005. That was just twenty years ago.
We have a long way to go before we’re ready to say that we are an accepting and inviting race of people, but today’s decision means that tonight, millions of couples can rest easy knowing women like Kim Davis, won’t be getting their way any time soon.
I remember the moment with the two men because it was a core memory. It was the first time I had a literal “anchor” to remind me that the ugly I was seeing at home, wasn’t everywhere.
I never got to tell those men that I thought they were beautiful, and so I do what I can to tell all Queer people that they are beautiful.
Children who are of the Ghey, too many of them, are born into homes that aren’t ready, willing, or even able, to care for queer kids.
They are homes where if you are neurodivergent, your life may literally be in danger. It’s the kind of home where, even if you’re “Normal” your life might be in danger.
It’s not a choice, being gay, or lesbian, transgender, bisexual, non-binary, or a-sexual. The choice is “Am I going to accept myself? Or am I going to let the world teach me to hate myself?” And even that, isn’t really a choice. It’s something that happens over time.
Sometimes we’re able to fight back, and we come out the other side happier, healthier than ever before, and stronger too. But other times, we end our lives trying to fit in, and failing miserably because trying to fit in means being less of who we truly are.
Jealousy, and anxiety can be passed on to children through behavior. When a child sees you not eating, they too will struggle to eat. When they see you displaying hatred, they will display the same behaviors. You are their adult, their guiding compass, it’s up to you to decide what kind of image you want to mirror to the children in your life.
Children Who Are Born Into Homes Where They Have The Space to Discover and be themselves, grow into healthy adults who don’t need to heal from unnecessary trauma
Some of us grow up damaged, and turn that damage inwards, choosing to hurt ourselves so that we don’t hurt others. In doing so, we hurt the people we love the most, because they struggle to see us struggle, and don’t always know how to support us.
I never in a million years wanted to be an adult. I never wanted to grow up because I knew then what I know now, being an adult sucks. But as hard as it is, I’d never want the kids in my life to think that it’s not worth living.
I have many children in my life today, and all of them have hobbies, interests, and passions that matter to them. I love that each of them has the space they need to explore who they want to be. Whether its’ going to school in a tutu or dressing up as an astronaut every year for Halloween, the kids in my life, get to be kids.
I feel honored that even though I don’t have children of my own, other people trust me with their kids. It means a lot to know that I, in particular, after everything I’ve been through, get to be a safe space for someone else’s young person.
But being a safe choice? That’s a choice. That’s something I can control. Whether or not you’re going to be a safe space is a choice you get to make. Unlike whether or not I find the women in your life more attractive then the men.
Sending all my love,
Devon J Hall,
The Original Loud Mouth Brown Girl
Loud Mouth Brown Girl 
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