“Can you actually do anything you put your mind to?”
vs
“Do You Believe You Can Do Anything You Put Your Mind to?”
It’s so easy for people to tell you, me, and even themselves, that changing your mindset, will change everything. but what if you can’t? What if you can’t change your mindset because everything is falling around you? What do you do then?
LET IT FALL.
I’m not saying let it fall ON you, but I am saying that sometimes you gotta let shit fall down, and take a step back before you can actually start to fix anything, let alone everything, you’re dealing with.
Think about the scene from Harry Potter when all the shelves started falling over – someone had to clean that, and you gotta start with one thing at a time. In the chaos of the mental health illnesses that so many of us deal with, trying to deal with ANYTHING can be supremely overwhelming, so starting with one day at a time may be the only thing you’re capable of.
That’s how I got where I am today. I will say my house was a LOT cleaner, before I started LMBG, figuratively and metaphorically, speaking. But at least I know what it is that I am capable of handling, and if I need to take a break, I allow myself the space to do exactly that.
One of the challenges that I am facing this year, is whether or not I can start really believing in myself. That’s a bigger challenge than most people are comfortable admitting to. For me, it’s less about whether or not I can accomplish my goals and more about whether or not I’m willing to try.
In past years the reason that I haven’t accomplished what I set out to do, is that I didn’t do the work because I was afraid I wasn’t capable of doing the work, so doing nothing was often easier than trying at all.
The days of pushing my strengths aside in favor of feeding my fear are long over because I am not doing this new stuff alone. I am working on so many collaborative projects that part of the pressure is removed specifically because I have teams in place that I can lean on for support, which is huge when it comes to changing your life.
Literally, no one who is a success did it alone.
Every single person who is rich, famous, talented, “special,” is someone who had someone, probably several people, in their corner, to help them move forward, through the struggles and the challenges that try to prevent us from living our dreams.
When we’re talking about creating intentional relationships, we’re not just talking about people that we can feed off of, we’re talking about creating working relationships with people who are headed in the same or similar directions as ourselves.
It’s not just having friends that care about you, it’s about creating networks of people who are as invested in your wellbeing and your success, as they are in their own, and those people are hard to come by.
It starts first and foremost with proving that what you say you want, is what you really and truly want.
Lots of people in my personal life are confused as to why I would post pictures of myself on the internet, my breasts are covered, but I am very clearly naked in the photos.
The answer is simple: Because I wanted to, and you know what? It was empowering as hell.
They aren’t special photos to anyone other than myself, because I think I look both happy and beautiful in them, but there are people who are angry and want me to take them down because they don’t think it represents the kind of brand that I want to create for LMBG.
But that’s because they don’t understand that LMBG is about positivity, in your life, in all areas of your life, not just the life that everyone thinks you should be positive about and if you don’t believe me, here they are:
This isn’t the body that I wish I had, I do wish I was skinny and well built, but since I’m not I love the body that I have, because the body I have, is the same body that got me where I am today.
I’m alive, BECAUSE of this body, and I am proud of every inch, and I can’t wait until I can have some professional shots done. I’m going to get stoned, and dance, and throw fabric in the air, and it’s going to be amazing.
I am not ashamed of the brand that I am building, I am not ashamed of putting it all out there, in fact if anything I am super proud of anyone and everyone who is willing to join me, but I will NOT be surrounded by people who are going to make me feel ashamed for being proud of the body that helped me survive 30+ years of sexual abuse and trauma. I won’t be ashamed of the brain that helped me survive a night of torture, rape, and hell, to get me to where i am today.
Today is Day One.
I can’t wait to see what happens tomorrow.
Sending all my love,
Devon J Hall
Loud Mouth Brown Girl 