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When They Go Low…We Die

Okay, this is a departure from my usual stuff because honestly, I am angrier than I’ve been in a really long time.

I slept in this morning, largely because honestly I needed the extra sleep. I woke up, went to the bathroom, fed the cats, made the coffee, in somewhat of that order, and sat down and immediately turned on CNN because I fucking hate every other show that plays at 11 am.

Kyle Rittenhouse Not Guilty on All Charges. Who saw that coming?

EVERYBODY ON THE PLANET.

I’ve been really careful about not getting into the conversations about racism and death because honestly, my mental health needed a break, I needed to disconnect after the whole trial about George Floyd’s death. I won’t even say “his” name. I fucking refuse, he doesn’t exist to me.

My mom, God love her, doesn’t really get it because try as she might, she’s still white, so she doesn’t get the looks, the glares, and the comments when she’s alone. It ONLY happens when she’s with me.

“Did you adopt?”

“No really, these aren’t your kids,”

On and on it goes, and people actually EXPECT that she defend our existence by explaining how a white woman could give birth to two colored children – not once, but twice.

My mom is an Angel, and I love her with all my heart, but when she looks at this kind of stuff, she thinks “bullshit,” when I see it as a woman of color, as a Black Creole woman, I think “where the fuck can I go where I will be safe?”

I think to myself “God damn, America used to be the place I wanted to retire more than anything in the world.” Recently someone asked when I was going to go to Boston, because when I was in Anonymous we said that when “this was over” we’d go have beers, in honor of all the good activists who died too young, or who ended up in prison for speaking out.

The thing is that this is never going to be over. Long after I’m dead, long after this blog is gone, (which will hopefully be never, Library of Congress?) there will STILL be 18-year-old kids carrying guns to protests that mommy drives them to, getting away with murder because they were “afraid”.

IF HE WAS SO FUCKING AFRAID WHY WAS HE THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE? I’ve been to protests, and never once did my mom hand me a gun and say “okay honey you be safe now y’hear?”

I’m trying to imagine what Colin Kaepernick is thinking right now. Through his entire journey, he has remained publically calm, and I admire that, but I also want to see him lose his shit. I want to see every single person burn all the damned things because this is some kind of bullshit.

This young person – like it or not he is young – just learned that he got away with murder, and now the right-wing folks are celebrating. The judge did NOT help and he did NOT stay neutral. He wouldn’t even allow the victims to be called VICTIMS. That racist clearly white-wing judge did EVERYTHING he could to support Rittenhouse and it worked.

If they weren’t victims then what the fuck were they? They were human beings whose families were just told that their lives didn’t matter, as much as the man who took them away in the middle of a protest for Black lives Matter.

If you think, that you as a white person, who defends Black or colored folk, are safe, in America, or Canada, you’ve just been told that your life doesn’t mean shit. So I genuinely hope you’re ready for the switch that is coming to Loud Mouth Brown Girl because I am done sitting here and remaining silent on this shit for my mental health. I’d rather go crazy again because that seems to get my points heard.

HUMAN LIVES SHOULD NOT BE TAKEN BECAUSE OF THEIR RACE, CREED, COLOR, NATIONALITY, SIZE, ORIENTATION, OR POLITICAL AFFILIATION.

People are on Twitter talking about how a protest isn’t a war zone, I’m sorry then what the fuck is it? Cops shooting rubber bullets and destroying people’s ENTIRE EYE SOCKETS, 18-year-old kids with guns murdering folk, I’m sorry what the fuck did you think the war was? What did you think that it meant when Soldiers gear up to prepare to protect themselves?

You think, as an outsider to these small battles that “Soldiers” are people employed by the government, employed by the men and women you vote into office, but I hate to break it to you, there are ALL kinds of soldiers out there, feeling like they are at war, constantly on a mental health hair trigger, never knowing when they are going to die.

The people going to these protests are NOT preparing for war, they are going to have their voices heard, but they also know that in 2021 going to a protest that supports Black Lives Matter – specifically – or the BELIEF that black lives matter – is VERY MUCH like going to war. They know FULL well now, that there is a chance they might not come home safely.

“Well then just stay home. If it’s so dangerous why go out?” BECAUSE WHY SHOULD WE HIDE? WHY SHOULD WE STOP MAKING OUR VOICES LOUD TO MAKE THE PEOPLE WHO HATE US FEEL MORE COMFORTABLE?

Does my use of the capital letter make you feel uncomfortable?

“The 12 jurors found him not guilty for the deaths of Joseph Rosenbaum, 36, and Anthony Huber, 26 and wounding Gaige Grosskreutz, now 27, using an AR-15-type rifle during protests on August 25, 2020, that followed the police shooting of Jacob Blake. Defense lawyers said Rittenhouse, then 17, was acting in self-defense.” -CNN

HE HAD AN AR-15 “Type” gun, they had their fists and their feet, THEY got shot and murdered, HE got ten weeks on trial, half a million dollars, and a verdict of not guilty. I’m sorry WHOSE life was in danger? Not his, NEVER his because he’s white and he fights for the “right side” Fuck Kyle Rittenhouse and ANYONE who protects him.

Today my love is reserved for the families of Joseph Rosenbaum, Anthony Humor, and Gage Grosskreutz.

Fuck all y’all and you’re stupid ass racism. We are now officially done with your bullshit.

Devon J Hall

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