Trigger Warning

This post may contain stories or triggers memories that may be difficult for you, the reader, to consume. I apologize for that, but this website is entirely about talking about the things that we do not talk about. If you or someone you know needs help, please use this page to find a helpline phone number in your area. If you can’t find it on this list, please use any search engine in the world. You are not alone.

Trigger Warning

I Promised you when I started this website it wasn’t going to be easy to read. It wasn’t going to be comfortable to be a part of the world that I grew up in, but I did it, and now all I have left are the stories that remind me that I’ve had a truly tragic life.

None of the men who raped me were gay men.

None of the men who raped me were Drag Queens.

None of the women who abused me were Drag Kings.

None of the people who abused me were a part of the LBGTQ2S+ community because the community requires that you not be an abuser to be a part of the community.

They were all good God-fearing horrible people who did horrible things to children because that’s what they were allowed to get away with doing. Now you’re seeing an entire generation of children realizing as adults that what happened to them wasn’t okay and we’re fighting back with our full chests.

Actual groomers are using reverse psychology and gaslighting to convince people that a groomer is someone they are not.

Let me get the actual definition for you


Definitions from Oxford Languages · Learn more



  1. 1. the practice of brushing and cleaning the coat of a horse, dog, or another animal.”regular grooming is essential to the well-being of your dog”
  2. 2. the practice of preparing or training someone for a particular purpose or activity.”Allen was expected to need lot of grooming before he was ready to take over”

I want to make this very clear. Groomers – actual Groomers, will do whatever they can to pretend they are the victim. They will convince you their world is ending because someone has figured out who they are, and they will do everything they can to make themselves look as absolutely non-dangerous as possible.

I know this from personal experience. They take a liking to children, often the younger the better, they like to know that these kids depend on and trust them, and they want to make sure that these kids feel safe around them – alone. They try to isolate kids, they don’t invite them to group reading projects, and they isolate children on purpose so that the kids will only lean on their abuser.

Every day a child is abused in private, they are stuck between a rock and a hard place. Often unable to convey what’s going on because they don’t have the words. They often don’t know. they’re allowed to speak out, meanwhile, Drag Queens of all people, are specifically telling kids to be as loud and as proud as possible of themselves, refusing to let hatred deter them from their overall mission.

Kids are notoriously loyal to their friend groups but that doesn’t mean that their friend group is safe, and so we have to be ever vigilant when we see someone pointing the finger at those that we know are safe and trustworthy. We have to make sure that we ask questions of our kids that are probing and probably uncomfortable, but necessary.

I didn’t speak out because I didn’t know I was allowed to, I thought God himself was punishing me because it happened so fucking often and my abusers echoed these fears with the things they would say to be. I was indoctrinated to believe that God hated me and was hurting me on purpose. It took me a really long time to break that kind of thinking.

The men that raped me did it to more than just me and I know they did. I know I wasn’t as alone as I felt, and I know there are millions of other survivors out there just like me waiting for their chance to get their stories out. I know that real predators are out there, and they look like you and me on purpose. They do everything they can to make you feel comfortable and safe when in reality they’re just reeling you in to eat you whole.

Be careful who you trust with your kids, this should be fucking obvious, but don’t let fear, gaslighting, and reverse psychology, sway you from letting you and your children have intersectional and inclusive experiences that will last for a lifetime.

Sending all my love,

Devon J Hall

If you have thoughts you’d like to add about this post, please leave a message, and let’s talk about them in the comments below

There are several ways to help support this site, if you’re interested, it’s much appreciated. Supporting this website means you’re supporting a disabled mixed-race Black non-binary/she houseless person. Thank you so much for your efforts. It means the world to me and convinces me to keep going.

Support Shop Book Shop Go Fund Me

Share Your Thoughts

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.