Southern Charm, Real Housewives of everything… I love these shows.
You take a group of people who all come from wealth, and you spend years watching them fight, grow, and go through all the shit that other people go through…on television.
And whether or not you like it you see yourself.
- Drama
- Abuse
- Weight Loss
- Children
- Relationships
- Mental Health
- Trauma
- Healing
- Business
There’s always something in these shows for everyone, whether it’s drama or fashion. But the thing is that in this one show, I actually care enough about the “storylines,” because they remind me so much of the way that I grew up, I decided to write some shit about what I see, because well…I’m bored and high.
“Why Are You Keeping It A Secret When You’re Hooking up with My Ex.”
They are your ex. Get over it. But also maybe don’t date your ex’s best friend, after the ex told you, that you no longer exist in their world, especially when you’re only doing it because you think that you’re owed something by a man you treated like shit for years, refused to believe in, and then sat back and watched succeed the moment you left their life. Just a few thoughts from someone who knows better than to get burned by the same fire I start, and then whine about getting burned by the fire I start.
If Someone Is Being Vulnerable to You, On Television or Off Television, Hear Them, Listen To Them, and Respect Them.
One of the male cast members started seeing someone new, and they were incredibly vulnerable about their feelings about their ex. So maybe don’t invite that ex to your party, maybe don’t go out of your way to shove it in their face that YOU have options, then maybe, and this is probably the best part, don’t get pissed off when they remind you…they have options too.
You can’t have it both ways. If someone has been honest about an ex being vicious or mean, or manipulative, and then you try to manipulate them, you don’t then get to be pissed off when they refuse to play the game. Ain’t no “cute” enough in the world, to put up with someone that’s going to mess with your head.
If you open up to someone and say “I can’t go through this again,” and then they try to put you through the same scenario, “testing your ability to deal with the kind of shit you can give them,” then this person doesn’t deserve you. RESPECT BOUNDARIES, shouldn’t be difficult, again, ain’t no kinda cute, cute enough to put up with abusive manipulation.
Not Wanting a Marriage is One Thing: Being Vicious Enough to Say “She’s so great,” Only To turn Around And Call Her An Idiot, because You’re Frustrated, is Abusive.
I have been calling the men in my life fucking idiots for years, largely because…they’re behaving in ways that do not mirror their level of intelligence, which is a lot higher than they pretend it is. For years this same person has cheated, manipulated, and abused his way out of marriage, and sure if that’s what you clearly don’t want then fine, but you don’t have the right to abuse your partners, or go out of your way to be an asshole, just to prove your point.
EVERYONE KNOWS YOU’RE TERRIFIED OF COMMITMENT, that’s fine, but the 1 sure way to get out of having anyone give a fuck about you, is to laugh when you’ve hurt someone’s feelings, and say shit like “get over it.” No, YOU get over your need to put people down, to hurt them, just because you’re rich, famous. and bored.
“I am what I say, and I say what I mean.” The one good thing about the person in the scenario above is that they understand what it means to be abused and know what to say to those who are abusive so that the message gets through.
No, apologizing isn’t a weakness, but it also isn’t a fix either. Yes, you SHOULD change who you are, when who you are, makes the people who GENUINELY LOVE YOU, and the people you CLAIM to love, cry.
This isn’t okay. You don’t get to whip someone around with your words or actions, and then be surprised when they walk away from you, and if you don’t want to be the last one at your funeral when you go, yeah accept that it’s actually MORE cool, sexy and hot, to be a kind human being, than it is to be you.
“Okay all Solid Advice Devon, But If There Weren’t Mean People in The World, Then There Wouldn’t Be Any Drama for Television.”
You have money. You have fame. You don’t “need” these things for your personal growth or your brand. You can be a human or you can be a dancing clown, you can’t really be both. These shows aren’t entertaining because of the drama – in spite of what you may think. They’re interesting because it’s actually fascinating to see that it doesn’t matter how much money people have, people are basically the same.
- They are either manipulative or honest. Never ever is someone who is willing to manipulate you, someone who is also unfailingly kind.
- People are either abusive or they are not. Simple as that.
- People are either wealthy or they are struggling.
- If they’re wealthy they are probably struggling in areas you don’t see.
- If they are not wealthy they are struggling in ways you ignore.
Basic human nature is basic human nature.
Being an Alpha Dog is not the same as being abusive. There are a lot of dominant dogs out there, that won’t try to murder you. A marine can be a violent sociopath on the battlefield, and then sometimes have the skills to come home and protect his, her, their family, without being abusive to them. It IS possible, but it’s also difficult.
Breaking that “I’m an alpha” bullshit conditioning, is not easy. When you grow up under ANY circumstance, you learn to deal with your emotions and your trauma, and all your stuff, in whatever way is easiest for you. Because let’s face it, (including myself here,) humans are both lazy and often exhausted.
Emotional exhaustion takes a lot out of you, and the idea of being vulnerable when you’ve watched what you’ve seen your whole life be the exact opposite of being open and vulnerable is difficult. But I’ve been doing it for five years.
Every bit of trauma either has come out, or will come out before I die, and the reason that is, is because this is my warning to the world: “Look what I went through, please treat me better,” and I say that because I see all these people in the world that I want to know and I see so many of you making the SAME kinds of mistakes that I would make, or that someone I know would make and I’m like…yup..stay away from THAT situation.
That means that I end up staying away from a lot of things that I want out of fear, but if you can see yourself in ANY of these posts, then maybe think about what I’ve said. I don’t care if you think I’m wrong or right, that’s not for me to decide, that’s entirely up to you, but what I will say is that soo many of us have suffered due to the harshness and hardness of this world, don’t we deserve to be the reason it gets better for folks instead of worse?
Just some random thoughts while high-watching celebrities celeb.
Sending all my love,
Devon J Hall
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