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Warning: I Am Not In The Mood To Die Today

So anyways, several years ago a former friend came to me and told me about a group of witches who had sacrificed a lamb in one of the many parks around Surrey, BC, and immediately I was completely disgusted. Not just because I practice the craft, but also because I am a Catholic – even though I’m not a part of the church. So the things that I grew up with, taking care of each other, respecting thy neighbour, etc, all matter to me.

The lamb in the Catholic church is a symbol of God, peace, and of love, a reminder that God is always watching and that it’s our job to take care of the most vulnerable.

At first, disgusted, and then angry, because it was so offensive. So many people over centuries have taken the faiths that our ancestors held dear and perverted them, to create something that is dark and gross and yucky and horrible.

These spells that witches are casting these days don’t mean anything to an outsider, and there are a variety of names for people who are outside of a religious or spiritual group, but because of my mother’s gypsy roots lets go with Gojer, which literally means “unlike us.”

The word Gojer was, and continues to be used as a warning, so that when gypsies gather, they know to protect each other and when outsiders show up, then they know to call it out so that others not in eyeliner know what’s up.

I’ve spent my life DELIBERATELY not telling people in the physical world that I am gypsy because I was tired of the looks, tired of the glares, that I got for being brown, let alone, adding one more thing to make me different.

English, Irish, Scottish, Jamaican, Gypsy, Witch who also believes in Catholicism is a lot for some folks to take, but it also means that because I am so varied in all the labels that I use to describe who I am, it makes it hard for people to believe how someone who practices Witch Craft can believe in God.

This week on the blog I wrote about reverse psychology, in this post I need to talk about the psychology of religious coercion, and the complex layers that come with breaking not only the brainwashing of men who hypnotize you into forgetting that they are there but the social conditioning that comes from the people in all the places you’ve ever been in your life.

What Exactly Is Brain Washing?

I could link a bunch of stats, but I’m not going to do that, because I don’t believe in backing up your opinion unless you’re getting graded, and since I’m the one doing all the fucking work here, alone, I’m the one that gets to take credit for knowing what I know through 39 and a half years of tried and true experience due to actually being traumatized by rape, cults, religion, and sex abuse.

These days we call it Coercive Control, but a peice of shit by any other name is still a peice of shit. Period. It’s brainwashing. It’s the slow, regular, continued abuse, that forces your brain to go into such a state of survival mode that you will do absolutely anything, in order to ensure that you stay alive. It doesn’t matter if you’re happy, it doesn’t matter if you’re miserable, ALL that matters is that you are alive.

It’s a Death sentence. It’s the continued rape of your body soul and mind destroying everything about you creating demons wherever you go that walk the earth and infect everything about you. Eating disorders, stress, anxiety, and PSTD, all exist, because people are fighting against the control that we’ve been fighting for millions of years, and each and every day it’s driving more and more people crazy.

HOWEVER. We don’t recognize it for what it is, because too many people say over and over again “that could never happen to me.”

Oh really? How do you feel about that Bible? How’s that Quaran treating you? How do you feel about all those people taking YOUR religious beliefs and turning them into weapons so that THEY can kill EVERYONE you love, while simultaneously calling themselves “The Lambs of God.” ?

What Are Rituals?

Tiny Rituals are rituals that we do every day. Bathing, washing our hands, doing our hair, and taking care of ourselves is something that we’re SUPPOSED to do, but sometimes we get so overwhelmed with the tiny stuff, that they act as grounding rituals to keep us safe from the darkness that is constantly at the door threatening to kill us.

The problem with tiny rituals is that as time has gone on, we have pulled away from our core selves, and fallen away from the ancient rituals that made our people who we are.

All humans everywhere used to worship a variety of beautiful, wise, powerful, strong, legendary Gods and Goddesses, and as time went on science began to replace Majick, and the “scientists,” started conditioning people to believe Witch Craft was evil and anyone who practiced it was “obviously talking to the Devil.”

The Art of Film, Television, and The Majick of Belief

For centuries witches, in particular, kept our secrets to ourselves, which to me who was a natural born “I already know what I am coming out of the womb witch,” was a huge struggle because I knew what I was born to be, but at such a young age I didn’t know how to define myself. No one taught me how. My mom didn’t practice, my grandmother didn’t talk about our Gypsy roots, and so everything I learned in books written by someone else, and no one warned me about the risks of choosing a religious belief before I really understood the layers behind where those beliefs came from.

Jewish people were good, Nazi’s bad, but why? Wasn’t really a question you were permitted to growing up, heh, 39 years later now, of course, I understand why Nazi beliefs are bad, but as a child, it was all so new to me, and so overwhelming.

From Comfort To Practice To Ritual Takes Effort And It Can and Does Rewire the Brain to Force You To Behave in Ways You Would Not, Were You Not Conditioned By Yourself Or Someone Else, to Behave That Way

I’ve brainwashed myself so many times that I’ve lost count of the number of times I have forgotten who I am. I do this as a deliberate effort to retrain my brain away from the way that the abusers wanted me to exist. Today we call it Behavioral Modification but it’s the same fucking thing. It’s repeating the exact same act over and over and over again until you get the desired result. We also call this insanity, but what is science but the insane and annoying belief that anything is possible?

The problem is actually not with behavioural modification, it’s the fact that we’re not asking the right questions:

  • What are you doing this for?
  • Why is it that you’re trying to change this specific behaviour

These are only 2 of the questions we should be asking, the most important question is “how far does this negatively influence your life behaviour, go back?

In the lives of too many children around the world, it happens too often. From Chocolate factories employing children on their farms, (Looking at you Purdey’s,) to Indigenous folk in the Congo and in other Jungle areas losing trees at an alarming rate, our entire planet is dying and when you ask questions like “where did this conditioning start,” the answer is billions and trillions of years ago.

“It Gladens Me To Know Odin Prepares for Anything”

There are billions of rapists out there using white supremacy to commit heinous acts of evil and blaming it on one God after another, but I have it on good authority, (remember I’m batcrap crazy and I’m a LOT like Sheldon Cooper,) that the Gods have absolutely ZERO clue about what’s happening down here, you know why? because according to “legend” they are DEAD.

Unfortunately for those who refuse to believe that “I” have the right to my beliefs, the things that keep me strong, the things that remind me to remain courageous, the people who came from all over the world to this site, to see my face, to hear my voice, to read. mystories, have REPEATEDLY reminded me, that I deserve to be here, and ironically most of them are white.

Last week I tweeted out just a few words, “Black women who have my back where you at?” Only a few answered, and not a single one of them through Twitter, but yet they found a way to hear me, to listen to the white people they were afraid of, to listen to the Jewish people who share the same fears, the same traumas, to hear the former white supremacists speak.

They did their research for years, for YEARS, so that they could come together from around the world, to build the library that is the internet, and learn from each other, and I am seeing SO many positive changes, but we’re sitll here.

Yes, We Go To War, Because I Refuse To Die, Without Every Woman On This Planet Being Free, Regardless of Race, Creed, Nationality, Size, Orientation, Color, etc.

Go watch the Losers, see the way that Couger tilts his head when a security guard makes a grab for his hat, then watch how they kill the bad guys over a hat. It’s not just a hat.

Symbolism has had to change because too many white supremacists have taken symbols of peace, and turned them into symbols of hatred.

The Swastika when you first see it is a symbol of Nazi beliefs, but if you turn it upside down and rotate it backwards, it’s a symbol of peace, from the Indigenous folk of The United States of America.

There are others but again folks, GOOGLE.

The point is that what we think we believe, and what we actually believe is often not the same thing. I know a 7th-day Adventist will tell anyone who will listen how evil I am, yet he spent 30 minutes telling a Residential School Survivalist about how the only way to sobriety is God. That man took another 6 and a half years to find himself, and get clean and sober. Yes, I still think of you every day, you KNOW who you are. I love you.

It’s easy for me to say (as I have before) that MOST of the men who raped me were white, but I also had an Indigenous friend who sold me out for an 8th of cocaine, I didn’t wake up until I was in the car with the man he sold me to, half way back to the “friends,” house. Like this shit isn’t just white based, it’s systemic.

It’s men, in general, thinking they can take advantage of vulnerable folk, and then blame those very same vulnerable folk for their actions.

I got a message when I went to pick up my coffee this morning telling me I “better not talk about Chris Tucker or Colby Paulson, Sean Garfield, or others raping you or there will be hell to pay.” Hi, nice. meet you, my name is Hell(a) and I’m here, what do I owe you rapist pieces of garbage? Cause I’m ready to pay the consequences for stopping child abuse if you’re going to come at me and me alone.

I’ll get raped 50 million times more if it means you never hurt a kid, but I’ll be damned if you take another drop of blood from me by assuming that I’m still brainwashed.

Let’s make this clear, I know that you’re there. in the middle of the night, I know that you touch me, hit me, and leave marks on my skin, and I know that these attacks are JUST small enough not to matter to the cops, but they sure as fuck matter to me.

So here’s the deal.

I don’t actually give a fuck if you think I’m crazy, or stupid. This is no longer a website for patients to learn from my mistakes and learn how to advocate for themselves. It’s a website of posterity, where I will be continuing as long as I am alive, to write down all I know about how child pedophiles and brainwashers work, so that other girls and boys who are forced into child sex slavery, and child marriage, know how to fight back.

And should I die, before I get the chance to meet all you fabulous readers and followers, allies, friends, fam, and sista’s, just fucking remember, we told you so.

Sending all my love,

Devon J Hall

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