TRIGGER WARNING: This post details crimes of sexual abuse, rape, murder, and trauma, that destroyed hundreds of thousands of Indigenous Lives. Please Practice Self Care before, during, and after, reading.
The “reported” total of buried bodies belonging to children of Indigenous people across Canada – so far – is 397, and they still have hundreds of residential schools to check before this story will be over.
Growing up in Catholic school they hinted at the traumas these children faced, but they didn’t outright say “so our Catholic ancestors raped, beat, tortured, and murdered, hundreds of Indigenous children.”
As an adult realizing how much about the full scope of the trauma these people went through it’s shocking, it’s anger inducing, it’s frustrating, and it’s heart breaking, but it’s nothing compared to what Indigenous people across the world are going through right now.
I know what it feels like to be traumatized, but I DON’T know what it looks like to have hundreds of thousands of my people murdered, buried, and ignored, for centuries. I cannot begin to fathom how that feels to wake up and find out that all those thousands of missing kids that you KNEW were dead, are finally being acknowledged, in the worst possible way.
The fact that the Pope will not offer an outright apology, is nothing short of a complete disgrace.
I saw this tweet today and honestly I couldn’t agree more:
On Canada day this year I had planned to design a whole set of swag to sell in the shop, but the more that I thought about it, the more that I realized I don’t want to celebrate Canada day when so much is going wrong across this country.
I don’t want to put my name on anything that connects me to Canada, because as a Canadian, and a born Catholic, I feel fucking ashamed, and nothing is going to changed how ashamed I am.
I hate that so many people in this country, whose skin color is not that much different than mine, are sitting at home thinking, “but that could have been me, or my ancestor, buried three feet below the ground, ignored for centuries.”
It what I can only assume is a response to the news about these acts of evil, at least three Catholic churches have been burned to the ground in various places across the province, and honestly? I am neither surprised nor empathic about it.
I am in the mood to say burn them all, without actually advocating that you go and burn down a Catholic church.
gen·o·cide/ˈjenəˌsīd/
noun
- the deliberate killing of a large number of people from a particular nation or ethnic group with the aim of destroying that nation or group
Around the globe, the Roman Catholic Church has gotten away with genocide in many nations, for centuries, and that is sadly, not an exaggeration.
It’s time for us to close the doors on this ancient and seriously evil institution and move forward with the belief that God may indeed exist, but based on factual history, and the evidence at hand, the Roman Catholic Church, is not a reflection of the higher powers that I believe in.
I know that many people struggle with the idea of God, but for the first time in my life, at 38, I finally understand that God and “the Church,” are not the same thing but that being said? It doesn’t change the fact that for more than four hundred years, the Church has deliberately done anything and everything it can to keep it’s power, while murdering the innocent people who just wanted to exist outside of it’s control.
Because the Pope is refusing to apologize, every day average Priests and Nuns are also forbidden from saying something, even if they still believe in the Church, they are not allowed to publicly comment on the crimes of the church, and based on these hundreds of bodies, (over 700 at last unreported account via Twitter,) there ain’t nothing “alleged” about it.
There is factual proof that people working under the control of the Roman Catholic Church murdered hundreds of thousands of innocent children and buried them no deeper than three feet under the ground, thinking they would never be found.
Now you want me to celebrate a country that for hundreds of years helped to cover up these crimes? As a victim of sexual abuse, rape, and near murder myself, I only have one question, are you fucking insane?
I don’t want to celebrate the history of Canada, because I don’t think the history of a country that was built on millions of Indigenous people, is that great. I think its God awful, to coin a phrase.
When I was sixteen I told my class that I wasn’t proud to be a Canadian, but I couldn’t fully conceptualize why that was the case, but now? Now I have nothing but millions of reasons to describe how much I loath the fact that the only time Canada makes the news, is when the atrocities of our ancestors are being highlighted on CNN.
“I’m Sorry,” isn’t good enough for me, and I don’t think it’s good enough for the Indigenous friends, family, neighbors, and freedom fighters around the world, but it’s a damned good start, and if the Pope can’t say those two simple words, if he can’t be disgusted and ashamed of those who came before him, I can no longer support the continuation of the Roman Catholic Church.
If this was in Mexico, or Istanbul, if it were Iraq or Afghanistan, we’d call it what it is, genocide, war crimes, and there would be a punishment for these crimes.
I don’t know if reparations are what the Indigenous community need in order for them to heal, but I do think at the very least we should talk about the dissolution of the Roman Catholic Church in Canada.
If they are going to be so calm and callous about all these deaths, then they have no place in our country, and I think the only way that we’re going to make it clear that these deaths are nothing short of evil, is if we stop pretending that the Catholic Church actually gives a fuck about Jesus, his message, or his teachings.
I don’t think that Jesus would be okay with these deaths, or what happened in these schools, and I don’t think it’s okay that they continue to lie that they follow in his footsteps when they have proven over the last 2000 years that they only thing they care about is their own sense of power.
Sending all my love,
Devon J Hall
Loud Mouth Brown Girl 
I have no doubt at all that there are millions of people who totally agree with your sentiments. I respect where you’re coming from. I really do. I was raised in the Catholic church and I have to say a lot of what’s good about me is due to what I grew up believing, what I was taught: that we are all sisters and brothers; ALL children of God. Having said that I do empathize deeply with First Nations Peoples. This is such a horrific thing and one I have been processing over three decades. I was so very angry, enraged, in fact when I first began to learn about all the atrocities committed. It took a long while for my anger to cool somewhat. Now I look at the history of the RC church and see how there is great evil embedded there but there is also much good. Sinners and saints all under one roof, so to speak. Not all priests and nuns were abusers. And the church is not just mortar and brick but the People of God, not only the hierarchy. I have not practiced my Catholic faith in many years due to my issues with the institutional church. But I have many Catholic friends who are genuinely rocked by recent discoveries. People who would give anyone the shirt off their backs if that was needed. There are many caring, concerned, and also angry Catholics out there. You are far from alone in your pain and anger. Justifiably so!
I think it was the convergence of patriarchy, colonialism, and the overwhelming power of Christian churches in general and the RC church in particular that led to so many crimes against humanity in general and indigenous peoples around the globe. Anger can be the energy needed to push the powers that be to make changes to political systems that continue to keep FN peoples oppressed. As time goes on and no doubt more unmarked graves discovered I hope we can come together to amplify the voices of FN people that have been silenced too long.
I am heartened by the passionate response of people such as yourself who are demanding change NOW! It gives me hope of a better, fairer Canada in the future (near future, I hope).
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I suppose everyone has differing views on what we should do with the Church, I do think that change is absolutely needed, if they are to survive, then they have to change the way that they operate, and say goodby to a LOT of the harm and disillusion of the past – that being said I am glad you have found parts of the Church that feed your soul. We all need that anchor to hold onto, it’s when our anchors become the weapons of our neighbors that I think Jesus would look down with “the look” to tell us that is not the way.
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Absolutely!
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