The world is absolutely in the center of a very real spiritual war between good and evil, I think we always have been.
I think Earth is one of the many football fields that good and evil are playing on, and right now it honestly feel like those who are choosing to do evil, have more power than those that choose to do good.
Derrick Chauvin murdered George Floyd in such a way that billions of people around the world have seen the video tape of the aforementioned murder.
Kim Potter, a veteran cop with twenty-six years on the force “mistook” her gun for her taser and shot twenty year old Daunte Wright, killing him instantly.
Breonna Taylor was sleeping in her bed when she was shot to death by a cop.
Ahmaud Arbery was going for a jog when he was chased down and murdered by white men who claim they thought he was running from them because he was breaking into houses. The fact that they were chasing him in a truck while armed with guns, doesn’t make it’s way into their explanation.
Too many lives have been taken because white people seem to think they can do whatever they want and get away with it. Too many times over centuries, Black people have suffered at the hands of white people, purely because white people think they are the only creature on this planet that should exist.
This goes beyond getting to know your neighbors. I used to say that all the time, throw parties, celebrate with your neighbors, get to know the people in your community, but how can you get to know the people in your community, when they want to kill you just because the color of your skin is different from theirs?
How can I tell people that they should trust those in their circle, when the same people that these people trust and believe in, are trying to murder you? You can’t, it’s as simple as that.
White people think they have dominion over this earth, and they think that their power allows them to do whatever they want, and often times, they are utterly shocked and awed when they have to pay the consequences of their actions.
From Witches to Politician’s, white people are constantly shocked when they are told that they have to be accountable for their behavior, and I find that absolutely fascinating.
I know that the only reason that I am alive, is because of the angels that surround me. Not humans, actual winged creatures who come from above to remind me that I have a purpose on this planet. I’ve seen them, I’ve heard them, and I’ve been taught and challenged by them more times than I can count, and yet whenever I am in danger, there they are to remind me that it’s not time for me to go yet.
I’ve been watching Supernatural for days, and it’s reminded me that sometimes angels and Gods can be real dicks, but sometimes they step out of their enforced field and step down to help us, to lift us up when things seem bleak, or uncontrollable.
I don’t know why the angels that surround me continue to do so, but I do know that they definitely have saved my life more times than I can count. I have stopped asking why I am alive, when others that I love, or have been inspired by but never met are not.
Largely because the mental capacity it takes to try and answer that question is too much for my being to handle. I don’t have an answer for why I am here and they are not, but what I do know is that I want to make my time here matter. I want to change the world the best that I can, so that those who are consistently murdered have someone crying out for their mothers, and their children.
I don’t want to give up living just because that would be easier, and trust me, it would be easy to end my life. There are a number of ways in which a person can take their own lives, but like many things in this world, just because we can do something, doesn’t mean that we should.
I don’t know what Kim Potter or Derrick Chauvin were thinking in the moments before they senselessly murdered their victims, but I know that it is imperative that we do not stop reminding the world that Black people, are not going to go away just because it would be easier for our white counterparts.
At a certain point in your life, the universe is going to demand that you decide which side of this fight you are going to be on, probably several times actually, and you’re going to have to choose. It’s going to force you to go against people you’ve known for years. This decision is going to change everything about you, and only you can decide if you have the strength to fight against true undiluted evil.
Because that’s what racism is. It’s evil, it’s twisted, sick, and wrong, and it turns even the kindest people, into the worst versions of themselves.
I once knew a girl who cursed another girl, because the first girl wanted a famous actor to fall in love with her, no, I’m not even joking. The reasons behind why most people do the shit they do is often selfish, and wrong, twisted, and no matter what they ultimately decide to do, some people’s choices are steeped in selfishness.
You can’t make someone love you, against their will, just like you can’t take a life because you’re in a bad mood and you feel like showing how big your dick is. There are rules to living on this planet. Rules set by humans of course, and rules set by the powers of the great beyond.
Not knowing what the rules are, is no excuse to destroy another person’s life, just because you feel like being a selfish, manipulative, evil, disgusting, horrible, person. The universe fights back against these kinds of people, anyway it can.
This week I took a break from the collective outrage marathon, so that I could focus on taking care of my mental health. It was really difficult all of last week, with the exception of my birthday which was lovely.
I was an emotional mess, and while I’ve been in that place before, I am always reminded that I seem to forget, that I am in fact going to climb out on the other side. Emotional trauma does that to you, it convinces you that you are never going to heal. So I needed to take a break from being angry.
I think that the universe works like that too. I think sometimes the universe can’t always be the one to be judge, jury, and executioner when it comes to dealing with all the bad things in the world, and that’s why there is us. We’re here to make up the difference.
Sometimes there are many of us on the front lines, screaming in the faces of cops who would kill us without a second thought, and then there are those of us who do what we can by writing about what is happening, so that the world never forgets.
Our words, our actions, are on the record, somewhere in the libraries of the universe, a reminder that we existed, that we told our stories, that we did our part, whatever our part is.
But at the end of the day, when the powers that be look into those books, they are going to see what our choices were, they are going to see why we made the decisions that we made, and they are going to judge us based on the information that is available to them.
One day we are going to have to pay the karmic price of our actions. That’s just the reality of the lives that we lead. So I ask you now, what are you going to do? Are you going to continue remaining silent on social media? Are you going to remain safe in your homes when people are being murdered in the streets?
Are you going to stay out of the way, because it’s just easier than voicing your opinion? Or are you going to gather up your strength, take everything you’ve learned, and do something with what you know?
The world can feel like a completely overwhelming place, and it can make you forget that you know what you know, it can train you to believe that you don’t matter, but you have to fight against that, and remember that you have angels around you. Angels that will protect you and love you, so long as you do the best that you can. They will stand beside you when you fall, and they will come to your aid when you find the world around you falling apart.
George Floyd had Angels around him, and they made sure that his story got out there into the world. They made sure that the world would never forget the name George Floyd. Breonna Taylor had angels when she died, who took her to wherever you go when you die.
It’s not a matter of just believing that you have angels, it’s about learning how to work with them. Sometimes it’s even about letting them take over, because they actually do know more than you do, whether you like it or not.
I can’t change the fact that these people are gone, that their lives were stolen by white people who thought they’d get away with it, simply because they carry a badge.
But I can make sure that when I am strong enough I can do whatever I can to remind the world that they existed, that their lives mattered, and that those of us remain have a purpose on this planet. You don’t have to like the fact that you have a purpose on this planet, but you have to accept that you do in fact have a purpose.
So what’s it going to be?
Sending all my love,
Devon J Hall
Loud Mouth Brown Girl 