I used to love Linkin Park the way most people love their dogs. Completely and utterly devoted, and then Chester died…and something in me broke in ways that I didn’t and still don’t understand.
My December
This is my December
This is my time of the year
This is my December
This is all so clear
This is my December
This is my snow covered home
This is my December
This is me alone
And I
Just wish that I didn’t feel
Like there was something I missed
And I
Take back all the things I said
To make you feel like that
And I
Just wish that I didn’t feel
Like there was something I missed
And I
Take back all the things that I said to you
And I give it all away
Just to have somewhere to go to
Give it all away
To have someone to come home to
This is my December
These are my snow covered dreams
This is me pretending
This is all I need
And I
Just wish that I didn’t feel
Like there was something I missed
And I
Take back all the things I said
To make you feel like that
And I
Just wish that I didn’t feel
Like there was something I missed
And I
Take back all the things I said to you
And I give it all away
Just to have somewhere to go to
Give it all away
To have someone to come home to
This is my December
This is my time of the year
This is my December
This is all so clear
And I give it all away
Just to have somewhere to go to
Give it all away
To have someone to come home to
This is my absolute favorite song, not of all time, but by the band. I used to listen to this song over and over again because it helped me cry. There are a few songs like that, Nemo by Nightwish is another one that I can’t listen to anymore.
These songs trigger something inside of me that I don’t want to fucking deal with. I’ve taken a look at those two songs and the abyss that they opened up and realized if I let it, the abyss will swallow me whole and I will never escape.
I am talking about deliberately triggering yourself, or in my case, choosing not to deliberately trigger yourself. Sometimes staying away from our triggers can be helpful and healthy.
Setting those boundaries prevents us from bringing up trauma that we are either not ready or not capable of dealing with.
The problem is however, if you ignore them too long, they begin to fester and grow and manifest in other areas of your life, and that is never ever good.
When I look at you, I see a man who is struggling, I see a man who is in pain, and I see a family of people who want to help you but might not know how.
That’s what happens when you are dealing with people who have mental health issues, everyone wants to help, but sometimes we can’t explain why or how things are wrong, and so often times those who love us have to guess.
Too many times people go misdiagnosed and end up on medications that cause more damage than they should. It happened to Marilyn Monroe, it happened to Ozzy Osborne, for years Ozzy was given medication he didn’t need by a disreputable doctor. If it hadn’t been for Sharon’s quick thinking he might have died and we would have lost yet another legend too soon.
There are so many doctors willing to take advantage of those dealing with mental health issues but this is especially true in Hollywood, where Celebrities are convinced that they have to keep their issues a secret.
Just take a look at what happened with Michael Jackson.
There is an unspoken rule that if you talk about what happens in Hollywood you are not so subtly excommunicated, and right now a lot of people are calling for your excommunication because you are clearly dealing with mental health issues.
I don’t really care if you continue to be a celebrity or not, because frankly I don’t even like you, but I feel pulled to tell you that I hope you get the help that you need.
I hope that you have the right Doctors, I hope your family is supporting you in the best possible ways and I hope whatever pain you are feeling right now, goes away sooner than later. I hope you stay with us and with your family for a very, very long time.
I hope that you don’t end up like Chester or Chris or Kurt, or Amy. I hope that you find the source of your pain and find healthy ways to deal with it, because you are on the prescipace of an awakening.
Yeah I’m speaking on your level, you are waking up to your responsibility to the world as a leader in the Black community. I can see genuinely, how you want to be of service. That’s obvious.
But running for POTUS, Ain’t it.
Support local candidates, start at the bottom like the rest of us and stop letting arrogance and hubris destroy everything the world believes you could be.
When you first presented your first album to the world, everyone called you a genius and said that you spoke for God…maybe the fans should watch what they say because I fully blame them for the ego that you have.
You have a social and ethical responsibility to help your fellow human, especially since you use the lessons of Christ to make so much of your wife’s billions, but the arrogance.
The unmitigated downright back water bullshit arrogance you have to think you deserve to be President.
There are men and women who have studied the history of America for their entire lives, who will never have the chance to run, but who deserve to. Men and women who will genuinely change the world for the better and put out the Donald Trump fires in the United States of America.
But you ain’t it Yeezee, you ain’t it.
You have a long way to go before you are ready to lead a nation, I don’t know what or who made you think that you have the right to be as egotistical as you do, I don’t know if it is your mental health issues or if this is just natural, but you need help.
You need to come back down to earth. You need to remember your roots, and ask yourself if your mother would be proud. I think she would. I think she would be very proud of the man you are attempting to portray in the world, but I also think she’d tell you that running for Potus ain’t it.
There are other ways for you to help Ye, other ways for you to change the world. Use your music, use your voice, use the power of your influence absolutely, but please, please please, stop trying to split the vote.
Too many lives depend on the 2020 election. Too many millions of people will be effected by your behavior, and let’s face it, you aren’t stable enough to be in control of the United States of America.
I may not like you, but human to human, we are brother and sister, so I am asking you brother…Please think before you do something you’ll regret.
Sending all my love,
Devon J Hall
Loud Mouth Brown Girl 