I do this meet-up once a week with a locally based group of Friends, and today is the day that I get to connect with these friends. I have skipped the last two, first because I wasn’t taking my pills for a week (I needed a reminder to see the difference)and then just because I needed a week to myself, but most weeks that’s where you can find me.

Connecting and working with other folks during a time when we’re supposed to be staying isolated and away from each other is really difficult. Not because you can’t still connect with folks, but because I can’t remember the last time I sat down with some friends around a fire and had an honest-to-goodness conversation.

I miss people. Don’t you? I miss connecting with folks and saying hi to the people that matter to me as I am on my way to work, but I don’t miss the work that I was doing. Several weeks ago I found out that a former client carved out his own eye in the middle of a mental health breakdown, at a local shelter. I do not miss the work.

There is absolutely nothing I could have done for him, but the fact that he hurt himself so badly is heartbreaking. There are lots of people out there in the world suffering, so today on this day I am going to try my hardest to be the reason that someone smiles.

Which leads me to my question for the day, when you’re down and you’re feeling like nothing in the world is going to make you feel better, what is it that pulls you out of the depression?

Because I’ve been struggling with that for a bit now. I thought for a long while it was the cannabis, but it’s not, really. That’s just one in a variety of anchors that keep me going, but it’s not the main one.

Someone suggested going for ice cream, and honestly, that’s not a bad idea, it’s a comforting exercise isn’t it? Going for ice cream when you’re not feeling so good, takes us back to when we were kids and there were adults there to make all the aches and pains go away. As adults, we don’t get that as much and so it’s harder to acclimate.

I’m trying to find a balance between going for ice cream and just letting myself cry it out but I am definitely open to new suggestions.

Sending all my love,

Devon J Hall

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