Yup, I squeezed them all in there, and I think I missed a few but it’s a tradition for me to wish you all well during the holidays so I’m doing that. Why? Not because of Jesus and not because of God but because for many billions of folks this is the saddest, worst time of the year.
It’s because this year – we’re conditioned to believe – should be spent with friends and family and for the last few years, we haven’t been able to be as joyous in the dark times as we wanted to be, because of the pandemic. So a lot of people are feeling really lonely and sad right now. I’m kinda one of em if I’m being honest.
A lot of my friends are spread out around the world and I can’t see them because of distance and money, it would be really nice if one year we could all get together and celebrate the holiday with our families and friends in the same place, but this year is not that year.
This year I am grateful for all the great friends I’ve made, from my friends at BC Small Business, to Writers and Editors of Color. This year brought me a ton of brand new but seriously already deep relationships that I didn’t expect but have been looking for for a very long time.
Also, a lot of understanding and self-respect for me, because I feel like I’ve finally “come down” from the trauma wheel, and now I can actually start making room and space to deal with the things that have been holding me back. I’m fucking terrified mind you, but I have more room right now and I really appreciate that.
I found a lot of great music this year while I was writing, thanks to an old tattoo artist reminding me about how much it helps, and I got closer to some old friends, close enough to kick em when they need it.
All in all though this year wasn’t economically expansive for me, it was soul-healing in a lot of ways, and gave me room and space so I mean what more could I ask for?
I’m pretty lucky because although my circle is small it’s growing wider with each passing day and the people that are coming into my world are some of the most genuine people I’ve ever met. They just are who they are without hiding their darkness.
They use their darkness to inspire others and I just think that’s so fucking cool I’m really lucky to be a part of the people who are letting me in, so thank you for that.
I hope this holiday if you’re out there, you know you’re loved Jana, I miss you very much.
Sending all my love,
Devon J Hall
If you have thoughts you’d like to add about this post, please leave a message, and let’s talk about them in the comments below
There are several ways to help support this site, if you’re interested, it’s much appreciated. Supporting this website means you’re supporting a disabled mixed-race Black non-binary/she houseless person. Thank you so much for your efforts. It means the world to me and convinces me to keep going.