Here’s the thing, I applied for a thing today, and if I get it (if) I will have a life-changing experience, but it will only be an experience. A Massive, intrusive, huge opportunity, that will change my life, in a myriad of ways that I don’t fully understand how to fathom yet. It’s a big deal.
But there’s no chance I’ll get it, if I don’t keep working on my mental health, so since the goal is fame, fortune, and massive book deals that allow me to tell a million different stories, let’s talk about what happens if that door opens and I get the chance to share my story with the world in new and exciting ways.
What’s the first thing you’ll do?
Go to a concert with my mom! I love going to concerts with my mom and we never get to celebrate, so if the day comes I get that big check, I want to take my mom to a private concert with all her favorite musicians, because my mom LOVES music, and I accept this may mean sitting through an episode of The Voice, but I’ll risk it for her.
How Do You Handle Mental Health and then Added Stress of Successful Experiences?
I can’t imagine it’s easy to be well known, I know I struggle now and I’m barely known in my hometown, but the few people that do know me – or rather that think they know me – are not people who know me today and so sometimes we struggle to communicate. The way we spoke to each other before, isn’t the way we know how to communicate with each other now, so it’s mostly just weird seeing people I used to know. As for people I’ve yet to meet, we’ll see where we get when we get wherever we’re going.
How Do You Handle it when People are Angry at You now?
It’s fucking weird, because I am so over so much stuff, but other people are not where I am at emotionally or mentally and vice versa, so it’s fucking weird. I’m like “oh, damned, I’ve moved on from that, but you clearly haven’t,” or again, vice versa.
It’s strange to know there are people mad at you because we all want to think that we’re innocent, but when we really look back at our lives, it’s easier to see where we’ve been selfish or mean, and that includes me. I’ve been definitely a bully in my past, and because because because I had reasons, doesn’t change the fact that I’ve left hurt feelings in my past. I’m sorry for that, and I’m trying to do better, but that’s really all I can say about that.
Define Success
I’m thirty-something, I’m not in an unhappy relationship, I don’t have kids I don’t know how to take care of, and I am still living at home because I’d rather stay and hang with my mom than fill my time with a bunch of people who don’t really want to know me.
I’ve written two books which is two more than I thought I’d get the chance to, and I have friends all over the world. I mean if that’s not a successful life well lived, I don’t really know what is. I grew up thinking I was unloveable, today I created 3 pieces of art and felt myself actually loving myself taking the time to create the art.
What’s The One Thing You’ll Always Take With You?
“The Mission, Matters.” Shortly after Sarah Michelle Geller uttered those words, I started work at Surrey Urban Mission society. When I was there we had gardens, we had vegitables, and we had people who came from all over the world to eat our food and work with our friends who live in the streets and slums of Surrey, British Columbia.
Long before the towers went up, Surrey Crew taught me what friendship is, The Wolf Pack taught me what protection can do for a girl whose living alone, and the RCMP taught me what ignorance is. I will take that with me forever wherever I go. The volunteers from around the globe, the nursing students, the business students and the teachers who brought their students, changed the world for a little while, and their effect is ever lasting.
Sending all my love,
Devon J Hall
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Loud Mouth Brown Girl 