Money Doesn’t Guarantee Freedom

I’ve been thinking a lot about Britney Spears lately and I haven’t said anything, because honestly who the fuck am I to judge that woman? Like seriously? Like her I had very public meltdowns, I got arrested for having a panic attack, and yeah I even shaved my damned head, none of that worked to heal the wounds that are so deeply cut open inside of me.

Unlike her I’m not worth much, in fact there is exactly 0.12 cents in my bank account this morning and I am borrowing money from my mom to get through the week.

I probably won’t ever have a ton of money to throw away, but the one thing that I’ve come to realize is that no matter how much money you have, it will never guarantee your freedom.

Britney Spears has been working since she was about eleven years old, trying to make it into the spotlight so that she could earn an income doing the thing that she loves.

And throughout her career she has been made to look like a complete and total incompetant moron, while those around her benefit from her sacrifices, her skills, and her talents, and I have to tell you, it pretty much makes me sick to my stomach.

This was Britney Spears being introduced into the world rather than a girl of sixteen or so fantasizing about love and boys in her bedroom, she was made to look like a sex icon, at only sixteen years old.

This is Britney Spears telling the truth about how she feels about the world:

One of these songs is being used to market a young woman who is on the cusp of adulthood against her will, and the other is a video about a girl saying “hey it’s not as pretty as it looks,” wanna know which one she got made fun of for?

When Baby One More Time came out, everyone regaled her as a hero because women’s empowerment, and celebration of identity, rah rah rah, when Lucky came out, people were literally outraged, because how dare she complain about how bad her life is with those looks and all that money, and all that power, except twenty years later, we’re learning Britney Spears doesn’t have as much power as we thought.

For twelve years, Britney has been under a conservatorship, which means that all those millions of dollars she’s been earning, are under the control of her father, or they were until recently when a new Lawyer filed to have her father removed.

As it stands Daddy Spears is in control of whether or not Britney can have a baby, whether or not she goes on tour even if she doesn’t want to, how much money she’s allowed to have a month, and even what clothes she’s allowed to buy due to her allowance.

Motherfucker!

The whole point of being rich is the right to not have to answer to anyone else no? Britney started in the business young, and the press took a shine to her like no other celebrity on this planet. Systematically they destroyed this woman’s self esteem, and made her out to be something she wasn’t because no matter what they said, her face on their papers and magazines, sold those papers and magazines.

Every single person who qualifies as a journalist, who has made money on Britney Spears is to blame for what happened to that woman, and the rest of us sat back and watched and many of us said nothing, even as we watched her be emotionally eviscerated by the same magazines, papers, and television shows we love to watch.

Because everyone loves a train wreck.

We all love to watch rich people fall right? We all love to see the beautiful people suffer, because then we’re not alone in our misery, it’s why men have been taking advantage of women for centuries.

Mr. Spears has been taking advantage of his daughter since the day she was born, declaring at her birth that she was going to be a star, and probably whispering “whether she wants to be or not,” to the universe as he plotted and planned the demise of his eldest child.

The man even went so far to get himself a restraining order, because Britney didn’t want him attacking her children, and yet somehow SHE is the unstable one?

I don’t blame for Britney deciding to shave her head, I totally get it because I’ve been in that place where you just want control over SOMETHING in your life. I’ve been there in that world where you just want to know that there is just 1 thing that you can do that no one can stop you from doing, and seemingly losing your mind, is often the one thing that we can do that no one can stop us from doing.

Britney didn’t lose her mind, she’d had enough she’d had enough of being a sex bomb, of being the girl that everyone looked at with lust and resentment all at once, she was tired and angry, and so she shaved her fucking head. So what? That’s not an indication of mental health issues.

When she and Justin Timberlake everyone on the planet had something to say about whether or not she cheated on him, but when “what goes around comes around,” and Justin was caught with another woman there was barely a whisper about the fact that he might have cheated on Jessica Biel.

The world is just not fair when it comes to the way that men and women are treated, more often than not when women have had enough, when we’re tired, burned out, stressed out, exhausted from being what everyone else needs or wants us to be, we’re called crazy and looked down upon for not being able to handle it all.

There is nothing, and I mean this sincerely, nothing about Britney’s behavior that is abnormal given who she is what she’s been through, and what she’s been made to do often against her will, for the sake of her father’s wallet, and his need for some semblance of power in a world where he isn’t the star he wishes he could be.

The problem with Britney’s father is the same problem that most men have, he’s angry that he’s not the center of attention and so he will do whatever he can to get power over others, including using his own daughter, and spending her money as he pushes her to work harder and harder to keep his bank account at the balance he thinks he deserves without actually doing any work of his own.

For years Britney remained absolutely silent about what she was going through and then randomly not so long ago she posted this message to Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/p/CRaRQZigmrM/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

Raise your hand if you know what this feels like, because I sure do. I know exactly who has my back, and who stood back and watched as I was beaten, raped, and tortured, for years, by sexual abuse, and traumatized by the shock of it all.

I have a lot of reasons for not speaking on Britney Spears in the past, but mostly because I was dealing with my own shit, and it’s like we’re friends, but I will say that what this woman has gone through over the last thirty years is absolutely a human rights violation.

To force someone to literally sing and dance for the entertainment of others when they are sick or miserable is nothing short of evil and yet we as a society continue to do this every single day because “well that’s your job.”

But being a celebrity isn’t a job like any other job, you can’t just call in sick and hide from the world, because the moment you try, everyone on the planet knows what your doing and has reasons as to why you’re doing it, even if those reasons are completely unrelated to reality.

Being a celebrity isn’t an easy job, and it’s not exactly one that I am eager to attain for myself, and more often than not I’m not interested in defending celebs, but she’s different.

The moment that I saw Britney come out on Much Music, I knew without a shadow of a doubt that this was a girl who is just like me. A Girl who wants to hang out with her friends, go to the beach, and have adventures. But instead she’s been working for more years than I can count for the entertainment of people who would rather do whatever they can to tear her down, instead of lifting her up, because tearing her down makes people feel good, even if inside she’s crying herself to sleep every night.

During the worst of times, when you’re dealing with mental health issues it feels like you have no one to call, and often times that’s because you have no one to call. Add wealth, power, and the lack of control over your own life and it can feel like you are in a prison and it doesn’t matter how big or shiny the prison is, a prison is still a prison.

Britney has been suckered into being famous, because her family, friends, and even her managers promised her it was going to be the adventure of a lifetime, no one warned her that it was going to destroy everything about who she could be, so that they could create a monster that was more easily controlled and marketable to those of us on the outside.

Britney deciding to get a lawyer and fight her father for her freedom is huge, it means that she’s healing, it means that she’s moving towards taking her life back again and every single one of us who deals with mental health issues knows exactly what that feels like, so I am super proud of her.

I have always been a quiet supporter, and a devoted fan, I absolutely have loved everything about Britney Spears, and I wish that I’d spoken up sooner, for what it matters I am sorry that I wasn’t strong enough to join the conversation earlier, but Britney if you ever see this please know I think you’re amazing beautiful, powerful, wise, and strong. I hope that this goes in your favor.

Sending all my love,

Devon J Hall