Loud Mouth Brown Girl

This is the lie that bullies, and abusers, tell people so that they can justify their actions.

I’ve decided that I no longer believe the lie that people don’t want me here. Namely because many of you have told me that I am a part of YOUR healing journey now.

That means the world to me. In ways many of you will fully understand as you begin to flower and share your own stories of trauma.

I know this because my friend Skylar recently said “You have no idea how much your story means to someone else.” And I truly believe that. The fact that I survived as much as I did, means you can survive the shit that you’re going through as well. I truly believe that.

I’m blessed in that I have Skylar and so many other wonderful friends who are willing to carry the story of my trauma – not just here where I live, but from around the world.

I am very fucking lucky that I decided to join Anonymous and that I learned enough from them to ask for help. I learned to use my community in the best way I could to save my life and I encourage all of you to do the same.

If you or someone you know is in an abusive or scary situation, please find ways to help them out.

Start by documenting the abuse, that’s step one. The police will need every bit of video, written, and spoken evidence they can get their hands on, in order to do their jobs because let’s face it, rape crimes are under reported largely because cops are fucking useless.

Next if you can, find an escape route. I have a friend right now whose in a terrible situation, and she keeps pushing back her leave date, but that’s because she’s preparing to leave in the best way she can, by making sure she has the funds to live the life she’s become accustomed to. So I understand.

But DO have an escape date, and don’t tell anyone you don’t trust. You don’t want it getting back to your abuser.

Make sure that when you’re ready to cut ties, you have a new phone, you have your collection of allies, and you can get as far away as fast as possible.

Go no contact. Ghost that motherfucker, let him worry, disappear, vanish, like vapor.

Because your safety and your life is more comfortable than his/hers/their comfort.

You deserve to be happy, you deserve to be free, you deserve to have autonomy over your body, mind, and soul, without anyone telling you that they aren’t “Ready” for you to fly solo.

I have a stalker in my life, that no matter how hard I try I can’t escape. I know they read my blog posts, I know that they watch everything that I do, and less than scaring me, it really annoys the fuck out of me, that I don’t have the freedom to say what I need to say.

Specifically because I did what I was “Supposed” to do, I went to the cops, I told the truth about pedophile rape gangs, and they let me down. Time and time again this happens to victims and survivors, so if you can, when you do decide to go forward, do so with as much evidence as you can provide.

This has been my “This is how you fight for your life,” Talk, thanks for coming.

Sending all my love,