Today I reached out to my BC Business Collaborative group to ask the question and they had some really great ideas, and so I thought instead of complaining today I’d share some of their thoughts with you, while expanding on them, to help you, as well as myself focus on something other than the negative that life has to offer right now.
Take One At A Time – Taya Docksteader
Taya is the Head of Operations at Giving Back Experiences, which is an amazing fundraising company designed to help people reach their dreams while simultaneously giving back to the community that the people in her network are from. Taya’s solution is to just do 1 thing, instead of doing all the things at once. Take time to rest and relax when you need to and move when you’re ready, but do 1 thing every day that changes the outcome of how the day could go.
Reconnect to Yourself – Melody
Whether it’s first thing in the morning, or later on in the evening, take time to check in with yourself, to reconnect to your needs, and to who it is you are so that you can focus on who you want to be later. We all need time to answer the question “why am I doing this?” sometimes our answer is drastic and dramatic, and other times it’s more peaceful and relaxing, but whatever the answer is if you don’t take time to reconnect to yourself, then how can you possibly be any help to anyone else? This time that you’re taking for yourself is to the benefit of those around you, we promise.
Some ideas to consider:
- Take a shower or a bath
- Take a walk
- Listen to some music
- Take ten minutes away from work to meditate
- Smoke a joint or eat a muffin
Whatever it is remember that if you’re feeling healthy overall, the work that you produce is going to be better and more enriched for those around you, and the time you take with your friends and family when you can see them, will be more meaningful.
Set Clear Boundaries And Protect Your Energy – Melody
I would love if I could be the kind of person who could produce 13 books a year, but the truth is that as an adult I am far more tuned in to my attention deficit disorder than I ever have been before. I do have the attention span of a kitten, and so I need to take breaks, and moving forward choosing to work on my writing means setting boundaries that help me stay focused on the task at hand.
I can’t work on the book every day even though I want to, so when I do, that’s book time. There will be no blog posts, and I probably won’t warn you because I like being able to set my own schedule without checking in with anyone.
My book time means that other projects go to the side, but the more that I realize that having a schedule isn’t possible for me right now, the more that I need to make sure that I don’t schedule myself into death, because I will if I can.
Not everyone I work with is available when I am, so taking their time into account is hugely important, as important as remembering that my time is MINE.
Knowing that I DESERVE to have time is important, whether other people like it or not, I need time to rest, and relax, because no matter what others might see, I’m facing stressors they may not know about, if they don’t care about that, then I’m not sorry to say they have to go. Anything that harms my harmony needs to go because harmony is a part of my healing process right now. And for many of you, yours too.
I worry about the people in my audience quite a bit, because I know some of you are in drastic situations, I know that you are struggling a lot like I am right now, and I am hoping you all have the support you need, but if you don’t, then yes, protecting your energy MUST be a part of your mental health weaponry.
You Don’t Have to Be Great To Start, But To Be Great, You Have to Start – Zig Zigler
I’m not the greatest blogger in the world, and I am not always on point when I post stuff, but when I’m on, I’m on. Writing, and putting yourself, your thoughts, your spirit out there every single day for other people takes work.
It’s not the kind of work that many people value, even though they say they do, it’s often followed by comments like “oh I could never do that,” “oh, so you run a blog?” as if it’s not a real job. That part can be taxing, one day hopefully I’ll be one of the famous mental health bloggers the answer to the 90s and that pink twist Paris whatshisname jerk.
The answer to Shock Blogs is Mental Health Blogs and I hope to be a part of setting the foundation for what it looks like when patients speak out on their mental health to help others. I’m not always going to get it right every single time, but I’m trying. I have a lot on my plate, more sometimes than it feels like I can handle, but here I am doing the thing, writing every single day and proving that there is are other options to healing.
You don’t have to get it 100% all the time, it’s okay to let go of the mountain for a while, it’s okay to pull back from the edge of the cliff, and look at your surroundings. I don’t think personally, I’ve done that enough in the last four and a half year-five years.
Offer Yourself Praise and Compassion – Kleine Achilles
When you do well, celebrate yourself. All of last year because of the pandemic I didn’t go anywhere, I stayed home like I was supposed to, and I’ll continue to do so, but before that, I used to celebrate a well-written blog post with a trip downtown. Or I’d go just to get out of the house so that I could spend time with myself.
I would take myself out on these self dates quite a bit, just because it was fun to go and get dressed up for myself – or yeah, not, sometimes too. It was fun to walk along the edge of the water, to see the seawall, to spend the hot summer days chilling by the ocean as if I belonged there.
To escape – these were my days of celebrating myself, of living in my own film, of telling my story to myself before I had to share it with anyone else, to tell stories of all kinds before I became the Loud Mouth Brown Girl. I didn’t realize at the time I was preparing myself to put myself out into the world in ways that I hadn’t before. I miss that and will promise to start praising myself and giving myself compassion a lot more than I use to if you will.
I used to believe that we needed others to praise us, to tell us that we were giving our best, or doing a good job, and the less that I heard that external validation, the more that I thought and began to believe I didn’t deserve it. Praising myself with these self dates taught me that I DO deserve celebration, and to enjoy being me.
Go Back To Your Why – Marshall Stern
When all else fails, go back to why you’re doing what you’re doing. What made you decide to start? What battle are you fighting inside your head and heart? What service are you trying to provide? Why did you even think it could in a million years be you?
Because if not you then who? Would you trust the work that you are doing, to someone else? Or do you know in your heart and soul that you can just do it better? You have to believe in your why or your why won’t matter, so reconnecting to yourself brings you back to that why, and celebrating the why reminds you that you deserve the why and on and on it goes.
Thank you to all the people of BC Connect and Collaborate on Facebook for answering my question and letting me share your notes with my friends here at Loud Mouth Brown Girl.
I hope that these things have helped you remember that you deserve to be happy and free and loved. I know they’ve helped me at least feel productive for the day and I’ll take that.
Sending all my love,
Devon J Hall