Before I started this website, my tattoo artist, friend, and honestly, mental health professional, Bill Gaspari asked me when I was going to start my anti-rape website. I don’t know how much he knew about what happened to me, but interestingly he’s a huge part of the story of what happened to me, even though he was 100% not involved.
So again, I don’t know how much he knows, but what I know is, he sort of had an idea of what happened to me, and that’s probably because when I had my massive panic attack downtown, he was the one I ran to because he was the one who I was physically closest to after figuring it all out in one fell swoop.
It was the scariest day of my life because that was the day I woke up, and over the last few years, I’ve been starting to put the pieces together and learning to ask the right questions. So now I am working on a brand new series called Gang Realities: Life of a Gang Girl.
I’m writing this series because I want my story on the record, but more than that, I want to dispel some of the lies that have been told about really good men who made some stupid mistakes, who did some dumb shit and got named and titled as shit that doesn’t belong to them, because it was easier than telling the truth.
My story got some people hurt, my experience got some people lied to, and my life was spent trying to avoid and often getting into situations I shouldn’t have out of habit, because I was abused and because of how I was abused.
I want the girls who come after me, and anyone who joins the Loud Mouth Brown Girl army to understand, that what I went through was bullshit, and should never have happened, but I also want everyone who joins me in my future discoveries and journey to know, I am not ashamed of the things I did to survive what was done to me.
I am apologetic to those I hurt, and that needs to be on the record, so over the next however long it takes, you can find this new series on Medium.com by clicking the links below.