So in Canada, the statues and parks, the buildings, and the places named after horrible awful and evil white people are coming down. Today was Orange Shirt Day in the name of Reconciliation for the Indigenous communities and Nations that reside in the country the white ancestral government called Canada.
It got me thinking about the fact that these initiatives that have been building over the last 15-20 years were mostly started by the youth who live in this country, who happen to be Indigenous, Black, Asian, and from other marginalized communities.
It’s actually pretty cool, that all these young people – specifically in this moment – who are Indigenous are standing up and teaching their elders that what happened before, doesn’t have to happen again.
Now, for those of you that are not aware, this is your trigger warning. I am a 38 year old survivor of childhood sexual abuse, that came from men, who pretended to be something they weren’t so that I would be too afraid to come forward.
They hid their identities as best as they could – and believe me, they absolutely, went the extra mile, but they failed. I remember. So do the other kids who were like me, abused, tortured, and brainwashed, into forgetting.
The thing is, that when it comes to trauma and abuse, the victims do not forget, and often times when we do not deal with our trauma, we end up passing that down to our children. This is specifically why I am glad that I do not have children yet, which by the way, does not erase the pain of losing the children that I’ve lost due to miscarriage’s caused by abuse.
“So I mean, it’s all what we’re willing to tolerate in our self-esteem, and what are we going to put up with, and what are we going to compromise to be liked, to be loved, to be accepted? How bad do we want to be in show business?” –Ellen Pompeo
“I was like, ‘Listen, motherfucker, this is my show,'” Ellen continued. “This is my set. Who are you telling?” – Also Ellen Pompeo
nounnoun: hubris
- excessive pride or self-confidence. “the self-assured hubris among economists was shaken in the late 1980s”
The problem with this whole situation is not that it is yet another entitled white woman telling marginalized people’s that the abuse they suffered is their fault, it’s that it’s another FAMOUS white, entitled woman, telling marginalized communities that the abuse they suffered is their fault.
Let me ask you Ellen:
- Who wrote Grey’s Anatomy?
- Who writes each episode?
- Who makes sure that YOU still have a job?
- Who signs your paycheck?
- Who makes sure the lights on set stay on?
- Who makes sure you have what you need, to make sure you do the best possible job?
- And finally, if it’s YOUR show, how come Denzel Washington was the one HIRED to direct the episode?
- Oh and extra finally, do you know that it is the Director’s JOB DESCRIPTION, to tell actors how to behave, move, and act while moving? While it’s the ACTORS job to do what the DIRECTOR says?
If none of these questions inspire in you the belief that I am holding up both my middle fingers and hoping that your ENTIRE Career goes down in flames, let me continue.
GENERATIONAL CURSES continue ONLY because of the folks who are entitled enough to believe, that they have the right to step on others, in order to make themselves feel bigger.
Let me quote this again for y’all:
“I was like, ‘Listen, motherfucker, this is my show,'” Ellen continued. “This is my set. Who are you telling?” – Also Ellen Pompeo
Shonda Rhimes, (born January 13, 1970, Chicago, Illinois, U.S.), American writer and producer who was best known for creating such popular TV series as Grey’s Anatomy (2005– ) and Scandal (2012–18).
Being “famous,” only means that you are well known, it means that lot’s of people know your name, it doesn’t mean that lots of people like putting up with your shit, and just because you’re famous it doesn’t mean you get to be a bitch. Yeah, I said that shit. The only reason “I” know your name is because it’s being dragged across social media….again.
Actors are ACTORS. They are there to help writers tell stories that inspire, challenge, and push the ideas of the audience, they are there to remind us not to give up. From the little that I know about Grey’s Anatomy, it’s a show about a group of hospital workers, designed to tell those of us who do not work in a hospital, what it might be like if we did.
In 2021 the fact that you not only thing it’s okay to brag about being a jerk, but that you also happen to work in an industry that at it’s core is about inspiring the rest of us, is entirely wrapped in generational curses.
You had a thought about a scene, you decided to be an asshole about conveying that thought, and what’s worse you ONLY did it because YOU think you’re a powerful white woman who can say and do whatever you want and get away with it, and I KNOW this because rather than show any kind of humility, rather then say “hey you know this was probably not the best decision,” you bragged about it thinking the fans of the world would agree with you.
Denzel Washington may not have spoken on this issue specifically, but that’s probably only because he once said:
“Every day, sincerely and without phoniness, Lou demonstrated by his actions how very vital it is – more than anything else – to understand and appreciate the people who work with you….Do your job well, learn your job well, but always remember that the people you work with are your most valuable asset. Embrace them. Honor them. Respect them” – Denzel Washington
You did none of these things. You legit went into the world and told Victims of Sexual Abuse that it was their fault because “they flirt and know how to get what we want,” and then you a (seemingly) powerful white woman bragged about calling a Black man a motherfucker. Does that seem like a disgusting term to you? Because it’s downright revolting to me.
Do you know what kinds of people “fuck their mothers” ? Victims of sexual abuse. You’re disgusting, your mouth is disgusting, and I hope that they not only fire your ass, but kill your character off in the most vicious way possible. Maybe a building blowing up, because honestly? You do not deserve the PRIVALGE of being streamed into the homes of millions of people each week.
Those of you who work in Hollywood ARE lucky, you have the kinds of lives that billions of us envy, and while that does not in any way deny the struggle of trying to make it, or putting up with the bullshit of the people you work with, please understand that lots of us look to you so that WE have reasons not to kill ourselves.
When you act like a complete rage filled douchbag you take away you hope that we might meet the people who inspire us, because you stop inspiring us, and you start being part of the problem.
“BUT IT’S NOT MY JOB TO BE NICE ALL THE TIME AND INSPIRE YOU,” then why the fuck are you an actor? because if you want to be an actor for the money fine, be an actor for the money but keep your nasty hate filled mouth shut. If you want to inspire people then don’t be an asshole, it’s not a difficult equation.
When I was a kid I wanted to be a writer, a famous one at that, largely because I know how shit life can be. I know what racism, and victim blaming can do to a soul, because mine was shattered by abuse, and I thought if I was famous then people would HAVE to be nice to me.
Turns out being famous isn’t enough, because there are assholes everywhere, and those assholes will use everything they have to tear you down, in order to feel like they won something.
Let me tell you how I think the rest of the day on set went for Ellen:
She went home after work, hung with family, poured herself a glass of wine or maybe smoked a joint and didn’t even stop to fathom the idea that she might have been a jackass, because her whiteness, her economic status, and her own generational curse of believing that her name alone, is enough to erase the sting of the bullshit she causes, allows her to believe she is above consequence.
Do you know what happens to people in Hollywood when they their true colors? The fans respond, and when the fans respond they often decide to stop watching your shit, which means that your fellow and sister actors, the writers, the crew, lose money when the show stops doing as well because no one wants to support your ugly behavior or your stupid face, which means you lose your job.
It happened with Cosby, it happened with Epstein, it happened with Harvey, and it will damned sure happen to you.
As far as the fans are concerned that is SHONDA RHIMES’ set, that is HER show, and after years of watching white women stomp on the hard work of Black women, I can absolutely promise you, if you think we’re going to sit back and let you destroy the hard work that SHONDA RHIMES did to make sure HER show was and continues to be a success, we’ll see you at the box office.
Jerk.
Devon J Hall
Loud Mouth Brown Girl 