“What mental health needs is more sunlight, more candor, and more unashamed conversation.” – Glenn Close
Yesterday I wrote a post about what gang life did to my life, and it wasn’t an easy post to write, but today I woke up and honestly? I am feeling pretty damned good. I don’t know what the difference is between yesterday and today, but that is what happens with mental health.
Some days you’re feeling amazing, and other days you feel like the weight of the entire world is on your shoulders. Today though I woke up and I had a bunch of emails about getting onto other people’s podcasts, and having others on mine, and honestly I feel like there is a purpose to the madness, and that feels just beautifully phenomenal.
When you have something – an anchor if you will – that grounds you, and keeps you going even when the day before sucked super bad, and you think you want to give up, it’s a lot harder to decide to end your life, but not everyone has access to an anchor that keeps them going.
Back in the 90s, self help books were all the rage, and they were always filled with stuff like diet and exercise, a good support system of friends, but what if you don’t have the energy to work out every day? What if you have severe trust issues that prevent you from having close friends? What if the stigma of mental health keeps people from feeling like they can connect to your pain enough to be able to support you? What do you do then?
For the last two years I’ve been thinking about the fact that I did not have a list. I did not have a list of how I got to this place where I am more happy than I am sad. Largely because if I had to stop and think about all the things that I did to get to this place, then I would stop moving forward.
That being said, on Tuesday September 15th 2021 I do have some ideas of how you can move forward after trauma and domestic abuse, if you are ready here are some things you can do:
- Set some goals. SMART Goals are always a good idea, but setting out future long term goals are good too. When we’re talking about manifestation, it’s all well and good to THINK about what you want to do, but you have to actually write it down before you can actualize it.
- Sticky Notes Are Your Friends!!! So, when I first started LMBG I wrote a bunch of positive uplifting messages on sticky notes in a few different colors and pasted them all over my bathroom mirror and every time I took a shower I saw them and they made me feel really good. Do that. Not everyone is going to compliment you every second of the day, but if you can remember that your PAST self wanted your FUTURE self to know you are beautiful and loved, it really goes a long way to making yourself feel good, about your…self.
- Create something Damnit! When we are feeling at our lowest, it’s hard to create something beautiful, but sometimes we do it anyways because we don’t have the words to describe what we’re going through and how we’re feeling right? So hit up your local dollar store, pick up some paints and some canvas or some thread and needles, or some knitting needles and some yarn and lose yourself in the ACT of creating. It helps to release the tension, stress, and PTSD of the negativity that you’ve been holding onto.
- Start A Blog Honestly, I wasn’t sure what I was going to do with this blog, but since I am like a puma who races first into the darkness, I just threw everything out there, do that if you must, or keep it private but put the words somewhere where you can see them, and take the time to make the posts aesthetically pleasing, because words are art too.
- Start a podcast just so you can find others like yourself That’s literally how I started Radio Free Voice, and Comfortably Uncomfortable Conversations. Both defunct shows helped me to find my voice again, and allowed me the space I needed to let the silliness out. I didn’t care if anyone listened and as it turns out lots of people from around the world DID listen and let me know how they feel about the show and luckily for me, the reaction was much more positive than I expected.
Diet, exercise, and spending time with friends are all great, but when you’re living in depression due to mental health issues from trauma or anything else for that matter, sometimes the focus has to be on connecting with your SELF first. If you don’t know how to connect to your own true self, then you’ll never be able to connect to others and that’s the problem that I spent my whole life having.
Instead of trying to get to know who “I” was, am, and could be, I spent far too much time trying to be what everyone else needed me to e, and now that I am not doing that anymore, I am much much happier.
When I was 18, I knew that I wanted to be in the Cannabis industry but I didn’t know how to get into the industry. I wasn’t interested in smoking pot really, but what I WAS interested in was how cannabis could help my mental health. I forgot that dream for awhile because well, trauma.
But this tweet storm reminded me of it yesterday, I saw this tweet and I responded with a long thread about how when you see something missing in the world you have to be the one to step up and fill the void.
There are a billion blogs out there right? So what the fuck is going to make YOUR blog or YOUR voice different from the person sitting beside you? The fact that it’s YOURS.
I want to write another post about this, because you are sitting there thinking “well that’s great but what can “I” do?” Well what CAN you do?
What have you spent the last 10, 15, 20, 25, 45, years learning that no one else in the entire world knows how to do?
Whether it’s working with celebrities, or working with children, you have views and opinions on the entire world that no one has ever thought of before, and THAT is yes, your anchor.
That’s the reason that you are here on this planet, you just have to find a way to make it work for you.
Through my association with people in the Cannabis Community, I have met so many amazing artists, plant doctors, healers, teachers, and friends, and all of them, every single one of them, are people who want to see me succeed.
That feels amazing, and it only happened because I decided that I wasn’t ready to live on this earth as someone who was consistently destroyed by those that I was surrounded by anymore.
It can be hard when you’re in the thick of the bullshit to see an escape route, it’s like being in a house filled with flames waiting for someone to come and save you. Save yourself, you aren’t’ damned, you aren’t weak, you might be tired, but you are NOT weak.
When you fall in the middle of a forest, because your ankle is broken, you have to either sit there and wait for someone to save you, and that’s a good decision, but what if the rain starts coming down and a bear AND a pack of wolves are walking around you waiting you to pass out so that they can eat you for dinner? Clearly you don’t have time to wait, so what are you going to do?
You are going to find a way to save yourself, so apply that to your mental health and you WILL find your way out of the darkness. One step, one day, one moment, one hour at a time.
Sending all my love,
Devon J Hall
Before You Leave Check Out These Great LMBG Links To Other Branches On the Loud Mouth Brown Girl Tree That Grew From The Little Seed Given To Devon J Hall From Devon J Hall the Eldest, Wise, and Most Beautifully talented, of all the Devon J Hall’s.
Stay Lifted Sis. This new version of the show is going to hopeful inspire others while we laugh, and enjoy being present in our every day lives, regardless of where others THINK we should be. Check out new episodes November 30th @ 6PM PST on @AppleiTunes and @Spotify or wherever you listen to podcasts. If You’d Like To Be On The Show Please Click This Link.
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Uncomfortable is an Uncomfortable read of un-edited essays written by the Loud Mouth Brown Girl, during the start of the 2020-2021 pandemic era on planet earth. It’s a difficult read filled with reminders that no matter how much the universe tries to squish us, we keep pushing through and moving forward to become our best selves. Grab a copy from Amazon on Kindle or Hardcopy Here.
Twitter is the place that I found my inner Loud Mouth Brown Girl, (Thank you Barrett Brown,) and because of that it’s where I still have some of the best conversations. Join me and let’s talk about whatever is under the sun and above the moon by clicking this link here.
Instagram has really helped me become far more confident in myself than I have been in past years. Through pictures and videos you can get a better insight into my life and the things that matter to me than the words you find on this website or Twitter. Join me for the occasional live stream and the always being silly, confidently, myself. Join me Here!!!