So I Tried A New Thing and Started Group Therapy

So without going into detail to protect the other members, I am now taking group therapy.

Interestingly after therapy I had a session with one of my BudSistas, which was really helpful because for the first time I said some things out loud that I hadn’t said before to another human person.

We were talking about faith, and I admitted that to be honest, as much as I know in my heart God exists, I am still mad at God, for a lot of the shit that I went through. I still blame God, for not protecting me or not sending anyone to save me from what was happening.

Yes, there is a certain amount of pride in knowing that at the end of the day I saved myself, but it would have been helpful to have anyone at all intervene before things got to be too bad.

I grew up loving superheros, but not really believing in them because I feel like I feel so deeply between the cracks that I was genuinely forgotten for nearly thirty-four years.

When people did finally stand up and pay attention it took me going to the hospital three times, and having two massive emotional break downs before I finally started to get the help I needed. I am resentful of that.

Knowing that, is very different from acknowledging it out loud. I said that to my BudSista today and it felt really good to express that, and to have someone understand what I am going through. So today was all about the healing.

I am not sure what to expect if anything from this group therapy, but I am willing to try it because I know that I have hit the wall when it comes to what I know and how to deal with what I’ve been through.

I am fully aware of the fact that the kind of help that I need is not going to be addressed in the therapy group that I have joined, but I hope that I will learn some skills that will help me deal with what I’ve been through.

That’s all I have right now for you, I am trying the absolute best that I can, and that’s all I can do.

Sending all my love,

Devon J Hall

Author: Devon J Hall

Devon J Hall is a thirty-eight-year-old Writer and Author from Surrey, British Columbia by way of Calgary Alberta. She lives with three cats, one mother, and is addicted to coffee, cigarettes, and weed, not necessarily in that order.

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