Will My Daughters Face This Same Fight In Thirty-Seven Years From Now?

Is this how it’s going to be now? Are we stuck with this reality forever? Constantly and consistently fighting for the same rights and freedoms of our richer, whiter counterparts?

Is this who we are now? When I think back to the most ancient of societies, I am reminded that each of them had a class system, and every single one of those class based systems failed, because people will always value freedom and liberty over slavery and poverty.

They will always fight against those who oppress them, humans will never give up fighting to have the opportunity at a better life, that’s just how we are. Our ancestors lived in a way that was filled with peace, and love, war, and pain, and we are making the same fucking mistakes they made, and I wonder seriously where it will end.

I do not see it ending well if we continue the way we have been for the last few centuries. I fear genuinely, that there will come a time when the human race just kills itself out of sheer stubborness and I am terrified for that day.

I remember when I was a child my auntie Diane told me that anyone could see a potential future for themselves if they had enough imagination. As a child I had a very warped imagination, like Steven King or Stanley Kuberik, I read a lot of Anne Rice and Tolstoy, and Edgar Allen Poe.

I imagined living through a world filled with war and pain, and I scared myself so bad that for a very long time I stopped imagining what could be, and just learned to deal with what was, in the moment.

I never want my children to have that fear. I never want them to believe that they should just give up so that they don’t live long enough to see the world end. I want my future children to see a world where there is no war, where people get along, and are genuinely happy, or sad, but either way…their true selves.

I want all humans to be accepted as they are, and as they could be, instead of what they “should” be. I don’t want cops murdering people in the streets and leaving their dead bodies to lie in the hot sun for hours on end. I want a world that is fair and just, where people are treated equally and everyone is just fucking….themselves.

But I can’t imagine that kind of utopia, it doesn’t make sense to me, because I am conditioned to believe that the world we live in is normal.

I want Black lives to matter, I want white lives, Latinx lives, All lives, to matter equally, but I just don’t see how that can happen when people refuse to admit that Black people are utterly destroyed at the hands of most often than not, white cops.

Immigrants are saying that Donald Trump is great for America, because they had to fight and claw to get their place in America legally, and while I understand their struggle, what I don’t understand is how you can deny the same freedoms you have, to your neighbors.

You call yourselves Christian’s, but you’re against Immigration, you’re okay with children in cages, you’re okay with women getting hysterectomies’ by a doctor whose not even qualified to do the surgery, you’re okay with white supremacy, you’re okay with Black people murdering cops, you’re okay with this shit, really?

You can justify this? What the fuck crawled into the center of your soul and ate you alive? What demon is riding your human flesh sack? because I can’t bring myself to believe that if you’re okay with everything that has happened over the last four years, you’re actually human.

I know that my Catholic teachings are coming at me as I write this, but how the fuck can you look at what happened to Ahmaud Arbery and call that human? How can you look at what happened to Tamir Rice and call that human? How can you take a look at the last four hundred and twenty five years of Black history and tell me that it’s human behavior?

It’s gotta be some kind of fucking dark, twisted, devil worshipping evil, because I can’t understand how this much evil could exist otherwise.

There are no other words that describe the last four hundred and twenty years of human history, except for “evil”, “darkness” “twisted” “fucked up.”

They had a choice yesterday, they had the choice to do the right thing, and they chose not to even bother to try, and this is the world that my future children will be raised in.

No matter who my person is, Black, White, Mexican, Latinx, my children will be Black, their children will be Black, and so on and so forth, and all I can think is “will they be safe?”

Will they have the same level of education that I was granted? Or will they actually succeed where I was unable? Will they be safe?

I can’t imagine what it feels like to be raising a child in this generation, y’all must be terrified, but let me loud when I say, you’re doing a great job, please don’t give up on yourselves. Your children are going to be amazing humans, because you are.

Sending all my love,

Devon J Hall