So as you may or may not know, I used to have a hobby podcast, called Radio Free Voice. I loved it because I could play music and talk about all the things that I wasn’t talking about before. I spent a lot of time talking about my time with Anonymous and how I see the world.
The last podcast I did, was a dedication to my friend Jaymack9 who was killed by an RCMP Officer, several years ago.
I always knew I would have another one, I just didn’t know what it would be about. It wasn’t until I did my first interview with my friend Stephanie that I realized I really want to talk about mental health and surviving sexual abuse.
I want to have those conversations because no one really does. Sure we talk about it on twitter, but we don’t “Converse”. We share our stories, and people share their support, but that’s not the same thing as having a conversation.
I very much want to create a space somewhere in the internet world, that is devoted to talking about the things that we really don’t talk about.
Like our triggers, what are they, do you know what yours are? It’s more than small annoyances. A trigger is something that sets off a memory tape or flashback transporting the person back to the event of her/his original trauma. Triggers are very personal.
My triggers are many, and they pull me back to the darkness on a regular basis, I want to have conversations with other people who identify with triggers, so that I feel less alone, so that our listeners feel less alone.
It’s important to note that some of these conversations are not going to be explicit, some of them are going to be fairly tame, but some of them are going to be difficult for everyone involved.
That’s why I am excited. I am tired of feeling like we should be ashamed of the stuff that happens to us, instead of empowered to talk about it so that we don’t have to feel alone all the time.
There is a street painting in Vancouver that says the number one killer of people living with addictions is loneliness. It’s a reminder not to use drugs alone, and every time I see it, I think “don’t let yourself be triggered alone.” It reminds me to reach out for help when I need it, instead of holding everything I think and feel on the inside, alone.
I am tired of thinking that I have to be strong, all the fucking time, instead of letting myself time to break down when I need it.
Sometimes, especially lately, I have let myself cry it out and instead of worrying if other people care, or if they are judging me, I let the tears flow. Ever since I published my book, I have felt more invigorated, more inspired, and I feel like pushing myself more and more to do the work, so that I can keep following my dreams.
I learned a lot from doing Radio Free Voice and CJSF radio. I learned that I suck at doing the radio, but I am really good at having conversations with people. I like having conversations with people.
I enjoy spending time getting to know them and helping them share their experiences in a way that helps other people. So I am excited about this new branch of the Loud Mouth Brown Girl Brand, and I hope you will join me each week as I discover new people to talk to and new stories to tell.
You can find the podcast everywhere you can find podcasts including Spotify and Apple iTunes.
Sending all my love,
Devon J Hall