Arrogance comes from believing that you are better than others, I used to wonder where that arrogance comes from in some people, and I realized recently it comes from being taught that you are better, that you deserve better. Some people take it a little too far, while too many others have zero self confidence at all.
One of the things that gets me up in the morning, (or afternoon) is no less than two cups of coffee, and a shower. If I don’t have a shower everything feels off and I just feel yucky and gross, but the problem is that later on in this year I realized I was having a hard time seeing myself naked.
I’ve gained a bit of weight sitting on my ass getting stoned and munching out until I can’t breath, which doesn’t really bother me, until I have to see myself naked. I don’t necessarily talk negative about myself all the time, but I definitely don’t appreciate myself as much as I should. So tonight I decided to take my own advice and do some self care.
This is something I used to do all the time, and it really made me feel better about myself, but I forgot how to do it because I guess I didn’t want to become too arrogant, or overly confident. Which I am sure many of you can understand.
The negative talk that we do to ourselves can be incredibly damaging, it tears down everything we think we know about ourselves and replaces us with someone who becomes a shell of who we’re supposed to be, so it’s time to stop.
I came up with some suggestions that will help you knock off that negative talk. The first is to make sure that every time I see myself in the mirror I remember that I am fucking amazing. I’ve been through a lot, and not to discount what others have been through, but it’s been rough. There’s bound to be some residual darkness, that doesn’t mean I have to accept that darkness as part of my every day routine. So now when I go into the bathroom I can see all these lovely purple and purposeful reminders that I am a better person than I used to believe.
They say things like:
- You are loved
- You are not alone
- You are beautiful
- You are strong
- Your scars are your battle wounds
- I love you
- Please don’t give up
All the things I wish other people would say to me, all the compliments I don’t have the guts to ask for even though I desperately need to hear them. This will give me a much needed boost every time I go into the bathroom and although yes it feels silly it gets more comfortable every time I walk in there. It’s something my mom appreciates too for when she looks into the mirror.
Negative thoughts can come and go against our will, so another idea is to use this to help you save some money. Every time you have a negative thought put a quarter or whatever spare change you have into a piggy bank. Mine is a little white with black spots elephant, but you get the point.
At the end of a year you might have enough money to take yourself out for a drink, which you deserve.
Self dates are hugely important parts of self care. One of my favorite things to do in the world is go to see a movie in a theater, I never used to do this but at least once a month I try to take myself to a film. I’ve learned I especially love doing this alone because there is no one beside me to talk or bother me during the film, but also because I genuinely enjoy my own company.
I don’t often care what others think about me going to a film alone, and if they ask I tell them I’m writing a film review.
Whatever you decide to do, I hope it brings you a little bit of self comfort knowing that whatever you’re doing is probably not the weirdest way of taking care of yourself in the world.
If you have any suggestions or ideas on how you can help boost your self confidence please let me know in the comments below.
Sending all my love,
Devon J Hall