Can you picture my prophecy? Stress in the city, and the cops is hot for me. The project is full of bullets, though bodies are droppin’. There ain’t no stoppin’ me – 2Pac
When I was in my early 20s, I joined a program called Pathfinder Youth Center Society. The person who was doing my intake interview was a Black man named Orville Lee.
He asked me once what my favourite philosophy was – or something like that, but either way, whatever the question was, the answer had to do with 2Pac.
Growing up in Calgary, without any Black folk to lean on in my later years, was really hard. As a kid my brother and I had tons of access to Black elders who reminded us that we were special, they loved us, even though our mom was white, they loved us because they saw a single white woman raising two Black kids, and they knew, that my mom would need them.
But as things happened, my mom fell in a kind of love, and that relationship with all those Black aunties kind of dissipated, eventually we moved to British Columbia, and I had the opportunity to join Pathfinders.
The program was supposed to change my life, it was supposed to teach me skills that would push me forward, and though they tried, because they were still starting out there were a lot of growing pains and so our group didn’t get the kind of support we thought we were going to get. We did however get a paycheck every two weeks for attending the group, which helped pay bills, buy diapers for those who needed it, or food for others.
It gave us something to hold onto, something that said “okay if we do this, then life will be a TINY, bit easier,” we weren’t friends and we didn’t support each other, because we weren’t there to be friends, we were there to get paid so that we didn’t have to go out and sell our bodies or drugs to make ends meet.
Years later I made this beautiful canvas filled with words meant to inspire the next generation of PYCS attendees, and I said: “if the only reason you are here is for the money then use that as inspiration because you need to build on that.” Orville and his wife didn’t agree, and the canvas ended up in the garbage. I spent months working on that.
Money is a necessity because the world that we live in revolves around it. If you don’t have it you suffer. You end up homeless, and you end up being in marginalized communities that get ignored because you don’t have money.
BUT if you do have money everyone loves you because everyone wants a peice of the pie. I never did. I just wanted to get from one day to the next until this life was over so that hopefully I could just forget it. Because as many of you can understand, yes, it’s been that hard.
I’ve been on all different spectrums when it comes to the hunt for money. I’ve seen politicians lie, I’ve seen gangsters tell the truth. I’ve seen gangsters lie, I’ve seen politicians tell the truth, but the worst part of all of this isn’t the fact that I still have gang ties, it’s that I have many friends in politics, and they only want to be friends with The Loud Mouth Brown Girl, so long as the Loud Mouth Brown Girl pretends she doesn’t have gang ties.
Doug Ford’s family allegedly has ties to gangsters, to drugs, and his brother is now running one of the largest districts in the country. But I’m not allowed to lean on Hell’s Angels to support me because they are a “gang.”
I’m sorry, are the cops doing anything about me being stalked? No. Do I have a record of complaining to the police? Absolutely. Do they have a habit of having me committed to a mental hospital when I make complaints about rape or stalking? Absolutely.
So what do I do here? I’ve been asked by a local and very popular politician to get a hold of him, but the problem is that if I do that people will say that I collude with the Hells Angels and can’t be trusted, even though I’ve been honest about the fact that I haven’t seen or spoken to a verified Hells Angels member since the Flamingo Hotel was turned into an empty parking lot.
The reason for that is because I left the life behind, I built Loud Mouth Brown Girl on the promise that I would never go back to that life, and today when I finally woke up from the stress of it all, I see that my television settings have been changed. Alone, not a big deal, I could probably fix it in three minutes flat if I decided to do the work to diagnose the actual problem.
The problem is that my television settings have been changed.
While I was asleep.
How do you know you weren’t sleeping walking? How do you know God doesn’t want it this way? Is that what you’re about to ask me?
Little shit starts to pile up like keys going missing repeatedly, wallets, ll kinds of shit just vanishing and then appearing again. I used to call the cops when this shit happened, I stopped calling after I told them about my broken bedroom door.
I’m tired, and I’m exhausted, because I KNEW there would be pushback for the Loud Mouth Brown Girl, but what I didn’t know is that the people pushing back would be so fucking stupid.
I am not burning my future political asperations when I tell you that I have in the past, asked for Hells Angels to protect me, by keeping an eye on me when they see me in public, and keeping their ear to the ground, to make sure if they hear anything about me, that they check with ME first, before they do anything stupid.
I will say that there has never once been any money exchanged between me and an HA member, but I can name more than one politician who was there the night I was gang raped, and a few cops, who recorded the whole thing and then sat on the evidence for years while I was called crazy.
This website was ALWAYS about me tracking my mental health, and I honestly just got tired of saying “I’m tired,” without being honest about why.
The reason that this piece of shit keeps breaking into my house and spreading crap everywhere, is ONLY because he / she / they / them don’t believe that I’m going to make it out of this alive.
It costs lives: approximately every six days, a woman in Canada is killed by her intimate partner (Statistics Canada, 2019).- CanadianWomen.org
How many women are killed by their stalkers? Those statistics are only available to Canadian Law enforcement, must be pretty fucking humiliating.
He / she / they / them ARE going to try to murder me, and when you see the words “Devon J Hall, 39 from Surrey, British Columbia, WAS The Loud Mouth Brown Girl, and committed suicide on X Date…” please know…it’s a lie.
I promised myself and the entire world through Twitter, (Michael Harriot you can go fuck yourself for getting me banned you lil bitch), that the tattoo on my right shoulder blade means KILLED BY DEATH, it means that if Death is too afraid to try to make me kill myself, why the fuck would a human test me?!
I am Not In The Mood To Die Today – Jana, Surrey Crew 99
The kids of British Columbia and Canada are not playing. The Loud Mouth Brown Girl is not a victim of suicide and never will be, she’s just pissed off and has decided that until the cops do something, she’s going to continue to remind the world that The Hells Angels protect children. They don’t destroy them.
Larry Amero Senior said that. Now his son is dead. I wonder why.
Sending all my love to JJJ
Devon J Hall