Featured Image courtesy of StuffStonersLike.com
So I voted today, and honestly? I am not impressed by a single candidate, “the best possible option is the one that will cause the least amount of harm,” is not a great option when it comes to elections, but that’s where we are at, and it’s a tradition that every human who has had the opportunity to vote, has had to deal with, since the very first election.
This week has been crazy busy with mental health demons, (you know,) and then of course I am studying my cannabis course, and also on top of that, I am building a brand new website which will be the home of my future Cannabis business.
It’s going to be called 604North, and you can join me on Facebook, or Instagram for updates, but the actual “business” part of the site is going to have to wait between six months to a year. I still have to figure out what the business is going to be, beyond consultation, and what I am going to do with it.
Six-oh-Four because that’s the local area code for all numbers in the lower mainland, and North because I live in North Surrey. Clever right?! Also “Canada, the great white North,” not anymore. The official colors of North are now Purple and Green, because the Cannabis plant is purple and green.
I am going to admit that I am super nervous about it. It’s true that I have a lot of years working with people across the poverty spectrum, and that in that spectrum there was a lot of learning curves when it came to those who deal with addiction and mental health issues, but it’s also been a lot of years since I’ve had to work one on one with people.
Unlike what I did before, there is going to be a certain amount of life coaching, and that means that I have a long, LONG way to go, before I am ready and prepared to tackle that challenge.
One of the things that I AM excited about however, is going to find a dispensary that I can work from, largely because working in a dispensary will give me a better idea of what is possible when it comes to clients and patients, and also some much needed experience working in the Cannabis Industry.
I had the awesome opportunity to speak with one of the founders of Whistler Cannabis Co on Friday, along with my friends, sisters, and allies from EduCanNation, and I learned a lot about the processing of Cannabis that I am seriously interested in.
I learned about the farm to joint process, I learned about how they process the cannabis for sale and consumption, and about the farming practices that are expected by Health Canada and other avenues of the government.
There are a lot of things that I had questions about that she was able to answer, but more than that she sparked an interest in me that I didn’t know I had. I am now even more certain that the cannabis industry is where I belong, and what I want to do with my life aligns with all of the things that come with the cannabis lifestyle and career path.
I will say, that over the last several weeks I have been starting to remember that when I was a kid cannabis was around all the time, from neighbors and family friends, to my own friends, people were always using it, and I shied away because I know how much trouble it caused in my own home, but in the back of my mind, I always thought “one day,” and now one day is here, and I am freaking out a little bit.
I am freaking out because when you are constantly used to the floor falling out from under you, it’s really hard to believe that good things do not come without a catch, and knowing that, I am treading carefully.
I have all these ideas, and I love that there is so much that I can do with this business, and so many places that I can go across the globe, but I am also very aware that my first and foremost duty is to the consumers and the customers that I will be working with, and THAT’S the part that is the scariest part.
That’s the part where other people’s health will be in my hands, and I will have to prove to everyone around me that not only do I know what I am talking about, but that I am someone they can trust to know what I am talking about. A good part of the problem is the stigma, and the fact that when I am certified, there won’t be many people that I can lean on locally for support.
Too many people are afraid of the industry because of the newness of it, and while I want to rush forward with my whole body, I also have to be aware that in THIS industry, much like my last job, mistakes can literally change lives, and alter the paths of the people that I will be working with.
That’s precisely why when I left my last job five or six years ago, I felt a complete sense of relief, I honestly just…wanted to curl up and cry for awhile, but instead I got to work dealing with my mental health issues, so that I could eventually find my place in the world.
It’s weird being here. I created this emblem last week thinking I was 100% going to do a website on women in the Cannabis industry, and then the more that I thought about it, the more that I realized…although there are branches of that theme that I want to follow, I absolutely do not want to do a essay blog.
I already have one of those, and honestly? I don’t want to spend my life researching other stories of other people, I’m too busy living my own.
I LOVE Herb and Quill and one day I or someone else is going to do something AMAING with it, but for right now that particular dream has to wait. There are other things that I have to do, steps that must be taken before Herb & Quill can be the reality that I see inside my head.
I realized that Her & Quill is a really amazing idea, a website PURELY devoted to telling the stories of women around the world who have been, or are currently, in the fight for Cannabis liberation, HOWEVER.
Its a lot of work, if it’s going to be done right, I can’t possibly do it on my own, so I would like instead to introduce you to the idea that for the first time in her life, Devon J Hall is actually being patient.
I thought about all the challenges of owning a Cannabis company in 2021, and I thought about licensing, and laws, regulations, and I’ve been researching business and the business of Cannabis for hours on end, completely fascinated with checking by-laws, and side laws and everything in between.
“It’s like the smarter you are, the more things can scare you.”
― Katherine Paterson, Bridge to Terabithia
I am actually genuinely interested in this topic, and I keep hearing this thought rolling in my head “where was this chick in highschool?”
THIS chick was too busy just trying to get from one day to the next without ending her life, or the life of someone else.
I have always believed that I was more than other people told me that I could be, but I got so stuck in pretending to be less than who I could be, that I forgot who I wanted to be, I am starting to remember now, and honestly? I am really, genuinely afraid of myself.
I don’t know this person, this person who just keeps going, who doesn’t give up. I was talking to my sister Sher yesterday, and she said to me “you’re not lazy, as long as I’ve known you, you have always had plans for the future, you’re always working on something, always trying, always moving forward.”
It’s so dark right now, I can’t see any light around me.
That’s because the light is coming from you. You can’t see it but everyone else can.”
―Lang Leav, Love & Misadventure
It hit me like a ton of bricks, I am “the one,” that I am waiting for. I am the true love, I am the soulmate, I am the person that my childhood and littlest self has always wanted to be sitting beside. I am the one who is no longer spinning her wheels, I am actually headed in the direction that “I” want to go, without interference from those who are trying to stop me, and even if they come back to try, I am not afraid.
It’s fucking terrifying.
I look back at everything that I have been through – some of the most evil shit any human has ever had to face, whether you believe me or not – and I am still fucking here.
I am some kind of animal that doesn’t have a name yet, and it’s really weird to look around you and realize that you are NOTHING like anyone or anything around you. I am capable of majick that I didn’t fully know how to convey as a child. I am powerful beyond what I thought was possible, and honestly? It’s a bit like a superhero discovering their powers for the first time, a lot of “holy shit” moments.
This is what happens when you come into your own, and it’s not something that everyone on earth experiences, largely because many do not get the chance.
Mainly because even at their highest, even at their most celebrated, most people look around and wonder why they are where they are, and then get stuck in the “how did I get here,” part, instead of the “holy shit I’m here” part of it all.
Everything about my life is “just so,” and honestly? I want to throw rocks at the heads of the creators, because it so did NOT have to be this hard. And it’s only going to get worse.
I say worse because I know that I am willing, and able to fight for this plant, and for the good that it can bring to my home town, and to the people who live here, and I am uninterested in the bullshit stigma that surrounds it.
Anything good can be bastardized and abused and turned into a weapon if you’re clever enough that doesn’t mean that everything they say is bad is actually bad for you. I mean I don’t recommend you rush out and start dropping acid or smoking crack, for instance, because that shit will ruin your life, HOWEVER, I can’t stop you, all I can do is provide you with the information that I think will keep you safe.
Surrey, the City of, and many others across the lower mainland want to prevent the information from getting out there, and many of the people fighting against the liberation of cannabis are the same people who use it in private.
I am more passionate about this plant and what it’s brought to my life than anything I ever have been before, I used to say “I hate my job,” at least three or four times a day, and now I work 18 hour days sometimes for free, to try and make sure that I know as much as I possibly can about the laws, regulations, and safety issues concerning Cannabis. I don’t just want to go in prepared, I want to go in making sure that I can out talk any lawyer or politician on the planet.
So yes, today is Election day in 2021, and today of all days I am smiling because I know now that no matter what comes my way I can face, without ear, shame, or guilt because of a plant that a bunch of angels planted eons ago, that found it’s way into my life, weaving in and out to remind me that no matter what at the very least the spirit of Saint Mary Jane would be there to guide me. Even when I couldn’t’ hear her.
You can do this my love, I promise,
Sending all of my love and heart
Devon J Hall
If you’d like to help me continue to build Loud Mouth Brown Girl, please consider donating by clicking this link to head on over to Go Fund Me to Donate to help keep the growth growing.
The Loud Mouth Brown Girl Shop #604North is OPEN again and while we only have the Stay Lifted Sis collection currently, many more are on the way in the coming months.
Uncomfortable is an Uncomfortable read of un-edited essays written by the Loud Mouth Brown Girl, during the start of the 2020-2021 pandemic era on planet earth. It’s a difficult read filled with reminders that no matter how much the universe tries to squish us, we keep pushing through and moving forward to become our best selves. Grab a copy from Amazon on Kindle or Paperback Here.