If I had any advice for people in their thirties it is somewhere wrapped and woven into the words of this post.
Enjoy the moments. Dance with faeries whenever possible, sing in the sun and if you get the chance, absolutely positively take time to dance in the summer rain. It’s worth it.
Listen to the music that makes your heart sing and do the best you possibly can to make your corner of the world a little better than it was before you got there.
Be kind when you can be, and firm when you must be, but know the difference between being firm with kindness and being weak because they aren’t the same.
I wish someone had told me that all I had to do to figure out who I am is to spend time with myself as much as possible. It is in this isolation time that I am discovering all kinds of things about myself, some I have shared some I will never share.
I have as I am only recently beginning to discover, been experiencing grief, and I say this in present tense because I feel like a part of my soul died the night I was gang raped.
Recently someone accused me of seeking attention when I said that Rape Culture exists even in the middle of a pandemic, and today when I said that we can’t just ignore that Joe Biden was accused of rape all people wanted to talk about was Donald Trump being a rapist and so there’s no point in investigating Biden. (Seriously this was the fucking argument that many people chose to go with.)
There is never a good time to talk about rape, so talk about it all the fucking time.
Never stop talking about rape, make it okay to talk about rape by doing so openly and honestly, share your stories and be ready to listen to the stories of others. We can and will end rape culture one day but not if we sweep it under the rug where it is currently.
Listen to lots of different kinds of music, and use that to fuel your passion and your fire. Be creative whenever possible create something.
Don’t take breaks unless you absolutely need them, let the creativity flow as often and as proudly as possible even if no one else “gets it”.
NO one has to get you, but some people will and that is going to fee like a gift when it happens. It’s going to be special and may only come around once in awhile.
Ask for help, you may get it you may not but don’t give up, there is a lot to see when you find your happy place, a lot of things that you might not understand yet that you will one day.
Know that your 20’s were probably the most exciting days of your life, if you’re anything like me and no matter how much fun you think you’ll have in your thirties, they won’t be anywhere near as dirty as your twenties.
That’s largely because we become more respectful of our bodies minds and souls in our thirties. We become more intune with the universe.
Be a fucking Superhero, if not for anyone else for your self, because your youngest self is still looking up at you with big expectations and if you can’t fulfill them you best at least try your hardest to deserve your child self’s respect.
Some days are going to feel like you are in the presence of God, other days it’s going to feel like the Devil is on your heels, that’s life.
You will discover your truest self in the place you least want to be. That’s also life, fucking deal with, it’s in the moments when you don’t want to live in the moment, in the place where you are that you will discover who it is that you want to be. Only than can you start to converge the who you want to be with the person that you are, and that feeling is fucking amazing.
You can forgive the past without letting it rule over your present and your future. You can say goodbye to your past whenever your ready and even if it tries to hold you back, you gotta keep fighting, because it’s in the fight that we discover our super powers, and no one can take those powers away from us unless we let them.
You will get run down and tired, and your body will betray you unfortunately, and you’ll build yourself up again with each new challenge because you are at your core a fighter and the world needs you, whether or not you agree.
Coffee is a gift from the Gods and Goddess’s, so use it wisely. So is weed, smoke a lot of it, habitually, unless you’re working, remember to respect the herb at all times.
Shaun King is a White man. Rachel Dolezal is a White Woman, nothing will ever change these two facts.
Learn for yourself. Experience your journey as if it is the film of the ages.
That’s the advice I have to give to people who are entering their thirties. I don’t know if it taught you anything but it’s certainly didn’t help me any because no one told me that my 30s would be the most confusing fucked up years of my life.
30’s are the decade of self reflection and understanding. That shit is painful. Rip the band aid off and just fucking deal with it. You are going to be an emotional wreck, but that’s why I am giving you this information now, to help cushion the blow like no one did for me.
Rest peacefully knowing that you are a fucking butterfly and your thirties are the cocoon, when you emerge the hope is you will be stronger, and more powerful than ever before.
I’ll let you know when I hit forty. Christ.
Sending all my love
Devon J Hall