Everything is changing, and all I can think is why are there so many make up blogs in the world? Why is everyone so focused on looking pretty and why can’t I find other bloggers like me whose messages I resonate with?

Well because frankly there is no one like me, but also I think because Make Up blogs are escapism for some people, and I kind of get that.

Everyone wishes they could escape sometimes, so why not behind pretty eye shadows and luxurious lips?

I saw a link for an article that said to keep a diary of how we’re feeling in this time of the pandemic in order for future generations to understand what it was really like. God willing this website is up that long, it’s a pretty cool idea I guess.

I think I am mostly afraid right now.

I am afraid that in the days of terrorism this is a virus that can be clearly weaponized.

I am afraid that in this digital age where everything and every one is being moderated and monitored, this is just the beginning.

I look back at those who came before and I see how they learned to weaponize war and fear, hatred and pain for the sake of money and power and I am afraid that this cancer of fighting for power over the lives of the innocent is only getting worse.

That’s how I feel.

I feel like our World Governments are failing billions of people around the world and I am watching them tell our Elders that they are expendable and I am wondering who else is expendable?

As a woman of colour I always knew that my life was going to be in danger, I learned that early, but it’s different because the United States President came out and flat out said the economy was more important than saving lives.

It’s not just Black lives or Aboriginal and First Nations lives, it’s every life that is at risk because of this Virus, and it doesn’t give a fuck about the colour of your skin or how much money is in your wallet. It damned sure doesn’t care what side of the aisle you sit on, it’s going to kill people. Pure and simple.

Except those who can afford good medical care.

Which ain’t many of us these days it seems.

I am angry that Trump sat on information that could have saved thousands of lives around the world. I am angry that this virus exists and I want to know the science behind how it was developed so that I can understand it better but I don’t have the patience or the energy to do the research.

I am scared.

I am scared because Doctors and Nurses are literally the ones saving the planet right now and they are over worked, understaffed and under protected, because they don’t have the tools they need to succeed.

I am scared because a Nurse actually took her own life to protect others from the virus and I am wondering how many more will die due to other issues that stem around this pandemic.

I am worried for all the children who are being born today and tomorrow, in the midst of a pandemic, who have no idea what it means to be human yet, and whom will have to learn in some of the most difficult times history has to offer.

I fucking loath Donald Trump.

I am worried for all of the homeless and I am keenly aware of the blessings that have been bestowed upon my family, because we’re one of the lucky few who don’t have to worry about making rent or paying a mortgage.

As I write this I am watching Salt and reading a book by JD Robb, both talk about money, power and greed as if they are things to aspire to, while in each a hero rises to fight against the darkness and save the innocent.

The only ones saving the innocent are being charged for parking while they work in twenty hour shifts back to back with less than four hours of sleep time.

Troops are being placed at the Canadian Border and there is talk that when this is over they will remain, a reminder of the totalitarian regime that is ruling next door.

Donald Trump is a fucking idiot.

In comparison the God’s and Goddess’s have given us Governor Andrew Cuomo, who is at least trying to make sense of the situation, and Justin Trudeau who is providing every Canadian he possibly can with money to help get through the next few months.

These men are not working alone, there are hundreds of thousands of people around the world working to make this pandemic time easier on the rest of us, but I worry for what comes next, because I already know what it is like to live in isolation.

I am used to this, this is my comfort zone, so the only thing I have to worry about is what comes next.

Keep a Corona Virus diary for future generations they say. I am afraid they are all going to sound the same. We’re angry and we’re tired and every month of 2020 feels like something new around the corner that is slowly going to destroy us.

Mother Nature might be fighting back but she has help from humans who clearly don’t care about us.

They said so.

They fucking said it on national television.

They called it a hoax.

They said it was a lie.

They knew it wasn’t a lie.

And now thousands of people are going to die.

Remember that shit.

Sending all my love,

Devon J Hall

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