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I don’t understand adulthood

There is something about the word “Don’t,” and the words “Do Not” that convince human beings to do the exact opposite of what ever follows which will almost inevitably result in harm being done to the human in question.

So why are we so stupid?

When I say that, I am talking about the people who refuse to self quarantine because “it looks weird” to stay six feet away from someone to avoid passing on a virus that has so far killed 21.297 people around the world in three short months.

“Don’t vote Donald Trump he’ll destroy the planet.”

Okay that one is self explanatory.

What I don’t understand is how people can be so absolutely blind to the truth, and by “people” I am referring to Donald Trump supporters.

Does this look like a sane man to you? In my own country of Canada I sit here listening to them talk on the news about how much money will be handed out and all I can think is “What about the homeless?” Hotels will be turned into housing for a short period of time but what about after? How long can that continue?

I am thinking of Doctors and Nurses, NHS workers who are so exhausted all they want to do is curl up and cry. I am thinking about how overwhelmed they must be, afraid and filled with anxiety of wondering if they are going to catch or pass the disease one way or the other, to someone they love.

I am thinking about the Nurse who killed herself in Italy because she had Covid19 and decided she didn’t want to pass it on.

I am thinking of every single person who can’t put themselves aside for a short period of time and think about their fellow and sister human beings.

I am thinking about the man who was arrested for licking items at a grocery store, which is just fucking gross in general, and beyond disgusting in the middle of a pandemic.

I am thinking about the people I love who I am separated from, wondering if they are okay, if they’re handling this okay.

Meanwhile Donald Trump is saying he’s willing to sacrifice human beings for the sake of the economy.

Meanwhile Donald Trump is talking about human lives as if they are as of little importance to him as the socks he wears each day.

I get the feelings the socks are more important.

It’s not just Donald, there are men and women in Israel and Italy saying the same damned thing. That people over ssixty are expendable.

I would give anything to have one more conversation with my grandparents, to have met my father’s mother and father at all, would have been an absolute joy to me.

Yet to Donald Trump our lives just don’t fucking matter to people like him.

That’s what frightens me,

It’s not the virus, which is interesting because I’ve been wondering why I haven’t been worried about getting it and I realize that I am just not afraid of the fucking virus. I am afraid of the people that we’re supposed to look up to.

And I remember that old line, “people shouldn’t fear their governments, governments should fear their people.” We as humans have never really had power over our governments until it’s all or nothing.

Generation after generation, governments have tried their best to suck every last drop of gold from their citizens, and generation after generation we allow for it to happen.

Because we forget.

We forget Heather Hayer who died in Charlottesville Virginia standing up to the “Alt Right” also more comfortably referred to as “Nazi“.

We forget the 15,413 lies that Donald Trump has told because they just keep piling up.

We forget that after Heather’s death he said there were “Good people on both sides” of the battle that took one life and forever altered many others.

Around the world we watched as Heather was hit by the car that left an irreparable hole in the world.

We forget that the Proud Boys were supported by Canadian’s who had crossed the border in order to attend the event.

We fucking forget and frankly I am tired of forgetting. I am never going to forget that the President of the United States of America said that he was willing to put lives at risk for the sake of the economy, before walking it back only to say it again and again.

I am never going to forget that he asked the Russian’s to hack the US Government on live television and not one Republican Politician held him accountable for it.

I am never going to forget that I watched the second of two separate impeachment trials only to watch him get away with his crimes, so he could say shit like “It’s time to get the economy back on track.” For the sake of the lives of those who came before him.

I am sick to death of this fucking man, and I am offended that “Journalists” refuse to hold him accountable for his actions, and that’s on both sides of the aisle.

For three hours one day I watched CNN and listened to all of Trump’s lies while he acted like he was at a fucking rally instead of an update briefing and for those three hours not one reporter held him accountable for his actions.

Because their ability to talk about Trump is hindered by what they say about them, it seems the privilege of having a Press Badge is more important than actually standing up to him in his face.

There was a time that Journalists were our heros, there was a time when if not for Journalists we wouldn’t know what was happening in the world. Journalism is a revolutionary art form that was once used to fight back against power.

Instead these days Journalists seem to be encouraging this bad behaviour from a President who acts more like a ten year old than he does a Leader, because it’s good for ratings.

They kiss his ass and they give him space on their networks instead of talking with Doctors and Nurses on the front lines, and when they do talk to the ones on the front lines it’s again for ratings not for information.

I’m tired of being confused and anxious because the Canadian news is so focused on Trump that we don’t really know what’s happening in our country. Our country doesn’t have a 24 hour news station that provides new news and updates on the hour.

They have stations that repeat the same information for three to four hours at a time, and give you fresh news three times a day. Once in the morning, once at Noon, and once at night, and even then they are usually recycling the fucking news.

Maybe Canada isn’t as interesting as the United States of America, but we’re most certainly less informed in this country than you American’s, which is why I can’t understand why you continue to allow Donald Trump to run wild over your entire country, but that’s just me.

It’s frustrating, being a citizen who is cut off from the world, to not know what is happening around you. It’s frustrating not to have access to honest fresh information on demand, and even the internet is useless because these days there is so much disinformation openly out in the mess that it’s hard to know what to believe.

As a kid I thought by the time I hit my thirties I would be a famous author, but life had other plans for me and now that I have woken up to the reality that I am living in a world in the midst of a pandemic, I honestly can say I don’t understand what the fuck it means to be an adult.

I once was given the task of writing a piece on what it meant to be an adult, I couldn’t do it at sixteen and I am even more confused now.

All I want is for the world to go back to the comforting place I used to believe that it could be, and if that’s not realistic could I at least live in a world where the President of the United States of America isn’t a fucking buffoon? I mean if he has to be evil, (or she) could she at least be…not a total idiot? Because there would be comfort in that.

There’d be comfort in a lot of things, like people making the choice to stay home so we can cut this virus down to it’s minisculest amount, but that’s not likely to happen either.

Sending all my love,

Devon J Hall

 

 

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