Everything feels different.
I’ve been self isolating for years, but this feels different. The way people are treating each other, the fear, the kindness, the absolute abhorrent disease that is selfishness, all of it just feels so fucking different.
The word Pandemic is not a word that gets thrown around often in our society, so when it happens we all get very afraid. Today I was told everything that is non-essential, including but not limited to Tattoo Parlours are expected to close. All I could think was my old friend Nick from Happy Buddha just had a baby, they need that extra income, what are they going to do? Is the government stipend going to be enough?
I’ve been writing love letters you know the things I usually hand out at Pride? It feels different writing them though, it feels like I am writing them to potential survivors of a pandemic, because anyone who receives one, will have actually survived a fucking pandemic.
This is only stage one of the viral outbreak, what if it gets worse? What happens if we don’t make it through? I’ve heard rumours that people in the USA and Canada are already going gun collecting, because that’s all we need is more guns.
I talked to my friend “B” today, he’s worried because he’s homeless and they haven’t been tested, they are among the world’s most vulnerable. There is nowhere for them to go and hide, no where for them to self isolate or socially distance themselves and shelters are offering less beds to help cure that problem.
Which means more people are sleeping outside in one of the coldest months of the year, it’s a scary time out there and I can’t help but wonder, what next?
We all had so many hopes for 2020, we had so many dreams in which we hoped there would be a light at the end of the tunnel and just as we find it, it seems to be a lantern instead of an off ramp.
I’ve been mostly maintaining my calm, but that’s because of my medication and the fact that I am stoned nearly all day every day. That helps measure the anxiety to tolerable levels, but I am one of the lucky few.
We have enough food, our rent is situated, and we’re well prepared for a little while, but how long is that while going to last?
What we do in these times, in this time of a pandemic, will reverberate through the generations to come and I am curious to see what that manifests into.
I don’t really have a ton of stuff to say today, except that I hope you are all safe and close to your loved ones if you are able to be so right now. I truly hope we make it out okay.
Sending love
Devon J Hall
Loud Mouth Brown Girl 