I didn’t choose this reality, I just accept it’s existence.

When I was seven years old, a creepy old man decided to sacrifice my soul to Lucifer in a disgusting sexual ritual that stole my innocence, and broke me into a million pieces.

Over the years I have done everything I can to pretend that it didn’t happen only to realize that doesn’t’ change the reality of my current situation.

Can you imagine how it feels to know a psycho tried to sacrifice your soul to Satan when you grow up a Catholic? It’s a mental mind fuck for sure.

It’s not something that is easy to just “get over”, but I am working on it, because I want my reality to be something that I can be proud of.

I get so frustrated with myself because I am not further ahead in my writing “Career”, than I feel like I should be. For not putting myself out there in ways that other writers do, this blog is the longest I’ve ever really done any kind of formal writing, and I am proud of what I have created here.

I also know though that the time to start pushing myself to do more writing, but I am fucking tired y’all.

I slept probably fourteen hours over the last twenty-four, because my body mind and soul are completely exhausted, which only leads to more frustration, because I am destroying my health with cigarettes and lack of activity.

I am trying, but I have so much anxiety around leaving the house, especially after the last time I left the house and ended up being ambushed by one of my rapists.

I’m not entirely sure how much longer I can go on like this, but I am trying. I promise.

 

Devon J Hall

Author: Devon J Hall

Devon J Hall is a thirty-eight-year-old Writer and Author from Surrey, British Columbia by way of Calgary Alberta. She lives with three cats, one mother, and is addicted to coffee, cigarettes, and weed, not necessarily in that order.

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