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I didn’t choose this reality, I just accept it’s existence.

When I was seven years old, a creepy old man decided to sacrifice my soul to Lucifer in a disgusting sexual ritual that stole my innocence, and broke me into a million pieces.

Over the years I have done everything I can to pretend that it didn’t happen only to realize that doesn’t’ change the reality of my current situation.

Can you imagine how it feels to know a psycho tried to sacrifice your soul to Satan when you grow up a Catholic? It’s a mental mind fuck for sure.

It’s not something that is easy to just “get over”, but I am working on it, because I want my reality to be something that I can be proud of.

I get so frustrated with myself because I am not further ahead in my writing “Career”, than I feel like I should be. For not putting myself out there in ways that other writers do, this blog is the longest I’ve ever really done any kind of formal writing, and I am proud of what I have created here.

I also know though that the time to start pushing myself to do more writing, but I am fucking tired y’all.

I slept probably fourteen hours over the last twenty-four, because my body mind and soul are completely exhausted, which only leads to more frustration, because I am destroying my health with cigarettes and lack of activity.

I am trying, but I have so much anxiety around leaving the house, especially after the last time I left the house and ended up being ambushed by one of my rapists.

I’m not entirely sure how much longer I can go on like this, but I am trying. I promise.

 

Devon J Hall

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