When I was seven years old, a creepy old man decided to sacrifice my soul to Lucifer in a disgusting sexual ritual that stole my innocence, and broke me into a million pieces.
Over the years I have done everything I can to pretend that it didn’t happen only to realize that doesn’t’ change the reality of my current situation.
Can you imagine how it feels to know a psycho tried to sacrifice your soul to Satan when you grow up a Catholic? It’s a mental mind fuck for sure.
It’s not something that is easy to just “get over”, but I am working on it, because I want my reality to be something that I can be proud of.
I get so frustrated with myself because I am not further ahead in my writing “Career”, than I feel like I should be. For not putting myself out there in ways that other writers do, this blog is the longest I’ve ever really done any kind of formal writing, and I am proud of what I have created here.
I also know though that the time to start pushing myself to do more writing, but I am fucking tired y’all.
I slept probably fourteen hours over the last twenty-four, because my body mind and soul are completely exhausted, which only leads to more frustration, because I am destroying my health with cigarettes and lack of activity.
I am trying, but I have so much anxiety around leaving the house, especially after the last time I left the house and ended up being ambushed by one of my rapists.
I’m not entirely sure how much longer I can go on like this, but I am trying. I promise.
Devon J Hall