So as you may know, my mother lives her life in an automated wheelchair, because she has arthritis in her spine. This is normally not a big deal and it’s not something I discuss often, I bring it up only now because my mom has been house bound since Monday, although she was able to leave yesterday, today and tomorrow are not looking great for outdoor travel.
So we’re housebound.
Now for me this is no big deal, I prefer to be home alone most days, but I admit that having her home working from home pushes and inspires me to focus my energies on my blog, but for the most part lately I haven’t been overly inspired to do much of anything.
I just looked out the window, and giant droplets of snow are cascading through the wind and onto the ground, which means we’ll probably be snowed in for quite awhile.
So that brings me to what I really want to talk about which is the fact that I have nothing to say lately that I haven’t already said before. I feel like my entire life is on a loop and I am not quite done, focusing on my own selfish desire to do nothing, to actually say anything interesting, and that is so important.
I realize how lucky I am, being that I am dealing with all this emotional junk, to have the time I currently have to heal, but I have to tell you something has to change. I personally need to make changes.
I’ve been saying that I am not ready to make changes and the truth is that I’ve just become complacent.
I’ve allowed my house to fall into chaos, because it’s easier than dealing with the mess, it hurts, me physically to clean my house, because I am used to the chaos, do you know what I mean?
But I’m going to start trying, first thing in the morning I am going to get up and start by cleaning my room, and while I could and should start right now, I am giving myself the next twelve hours and then that’s it. In fact I might start tonight by doing some laundry. It’s been piling up lately and I’ve been pretty lazy about it.
I have nothing of import to say because I am going to spend some time this afternoon focusing on creating a t-shirt for my Pride fundraiser so I can hand out love letters at Pride. I’ll let you know when it’s up.
Hope you’re doing well.
Devon J Hall