So I saw this video yesterday and it occurred to me…my humanity is under attack. It occurred to me in such a profound way that I cried until one am, not just for the things that I experienced as a child, but because the things I experienced as a teenager and young adult should have killed me. I’ve talked about this before, but until I saw this woman speak it never occurred to me that this was what the problem is.
My Humanity is under attack. My very existence is in danger, because I am a Black Woman. But more than that, because I exist to break down the system and help to destroy the patriarchy.
“I do not have the luxury or privilege to sit there and be civil to people who do not acknowledge my humanity.”
You don’t have to like that I exist, but you must admit that I do fucking exist in this world, and I am entitled to live here without having men grab my ass, my vagina, or worse. I deserve to have food in my belly and a home over my head, I deserve to feel safe because these are the very basic human rights agreed to upon by most humans on earth. Namely the ones who claim the right to lead us because we voted for them.
“Fuck you fuck you fuck you.”
I will not be civil with men who think I deserve to be raped because my skin is brown. I will not be civil with men who tell me that what Keith Rainier did to me is okay because I am fucking delusional. I am not. I remember what I remember because it happened and I have the right to talk about it, because I fucking survived it.
There are friends of me who are absolutely terrified to be in my presence because they know what I went through and they know that I survived it all.
Keith Rainier and his Light Bringer’s did incredible amounts of damage to my brain, but the one thing I know absolutely to be true is that I deserve to be on this earth because I was born to it.
I have sweat, bled and cried in the streets of Surrey, British Columbia, I have earned my place here and no one, gets to tell me that I don’t deserve to live here, or to be safe.
That goes for my Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender friends and family. My Cis Hetero family and friends are all in agreement that things need to change, and it is not going to start with people like us being nice to rapists and child pedophiles.
Civility isn’t going to stop Pedophiles from attacking children.
Politeness isn’t going to stop a man from beating his woman into a bloody pulp.
Gentleness isn’t going to prevent a child from bullying another teen to death.
These things are not going to come over night and they aren’t going to come easily, we have to fight for them because they’re not going to just stand back and get out of our way because we say so.
I’ve said it before and I will say it again, there is a war for the nation under God, and if we want our freedom we’re going to have to fucking earn it. So you can be civil if you want, but I’m going to war.
I’m done pretending that it’s perfectly acceptable for men to get away with rape while I suffer the consequences alone. I’ve done my part, are you going to do your part or are you going to stay silent…again?
You know what’s happening in #Surrey, we all know I’m not the only girl whose been raped by these men, I’m just the only one with the balls to say it’s enough now. That girls in this town deserve better, that we deserve to know our bodies minds and souls are loved and cherished in the best of ways.
I’m the one that gets called Goof in the streets because I used this website to tell strangers the same thing I told the RCMP. Josh Harms is a fucking rapist.
So was Chad Wilson, and others. There are so many of them out there and we let them get away with murder because we hope things are going to change. I promise you won’t, the longer you stay silent in the face of tyranny, the worse it gets.
Yeah sure I’m pretty well known in this City and yes I’ve been to meetings and celebrations with high profile Politicians, and yes that makes me a little safer than some people, but I had to fight to get where I am right now, and the view isn’t so great behind the curtain I fucking promise you.
I want better I want to travel and see the world, I want to celebrate being free from my past connected to Keith Rainier, I want to make damned sure that my daughters never have to worry about men climbing into their bedroom and punching them in the vagina, or other areas.
I want to make sure my children never ever have to worry someone is going to make them have sex against their will, while threatening to murder their families.
I want to make sure my children grow up safe, healthy and happy and if you think that’s a reason to want me dead, then so fucking be it. At least I know what side you’re on.
This post is dedicated to Nova Blu for introducing me to this video and this massive realization and to my partner and friend, Heather for helping me to orchestrate the first ever After Abuse Chat. I hope you’ll consider joining us.
The More the Merrier.
Devon J Hall