Cunt! Man up and say the things you aren’t supposed to say.

Screenshot_37This post is inspired by  and their included tweet. 

I choose the word Cunt, because it’s the “one” word “good girls” aren’t supposed to use. It’s a dirty unconventional word that for some reasons sends everyone into a fucking tither and that’s exactly why I love it. But I’m not supposed to. (heh heh)

I think one of the reasons that I have been avoiding going back to work is that I am just not ready to deal with people right now. I need things just “so-so”, without interruption and I am very blessed in being able to sit on my ass and work out my mental health issues in such a positive way, although some of my habits are not so positive.

I smoke too much, I am addicted to coffee to the point that a day without a hit means migraines that are refuse to heal until I cart my growing fat ass down to the store to get it.

I am lucky that I have a mother who understands how hard I worked to survive everything I’ve been through, who is willing to stand by me in my time of absolute selfish weakness, and I worry actively about what would have happened to me if I hadn’t had her all these years.

I suffer from Depression, Anxiety and Severe Panic attacks. Some of you may remember I was arrested for having one on a fucking Air Plane -which is like the worst place ever, to have a fucking panic attack, obviously.

Right now I am watching Die Hard With a Vengeance, which is as I remember it my little brother’s favorite movie franchise of all time with the exception of Alcatraz. He can still quote that fucking film word for word – though as I remember it, he used to be able to do it backwards.

Music especially over the last year has reminded me of who I am and helped me tell the story to my life that I needed to tell, which brings me to the importance of film, television and music in our lives.

I hear voices in my head
They council me
They understand
They talk to me, they talk to me
They tell me things that I will do
They show me things I’ll do to you
They talk to me

New-posters-for-Joker-2019-joker-2019-43018835-540-800Is probably one of the most powerful songs ever written, with the absolute best message, because it leads me to my favorite new film of all time, The Joker.

Lately a lot of people are freaking out because it seems they are worried this film will inspire violence. My only response is you’re a fucking lazy idiot.

It’s as simple as that. These films are important for so many reasons, but largely because they force us to be aware of mental health issues. They force us to look into the heart of a man who eventually becomes the Joker, and forces us to watch us as he slowly decays into a former broken version of himself. In this film the Joker learns to fight back against the oppression that has destroyed every area of his fragile psyche.

Yeah granted, he becomes a homicidal maniac, but there are reasons for that, and let’s be honest, whether we like it or not, its an honest look at what it takes to destroy a sensitive soul. It shows us what can happen when someone is beaten, kicked, humiliated and destroyed at the pleasure of others, and we don’t like that because it makes us uncomfortable. That’s the real reason that we don’t want films and television like this, it forces us to feel something for someone else.

This film forces us to look into our hearts and ask ourselves, “what would I do?” “how would I feel?” and the sad truth is that for the majority of us, we’re afraid to know.

Film and television are not the reason that there is so much terrible shit happening in the world right now, sure it’s a part of it. Sure some people might be inspired to believe that if they become the Dark Knight or The Joker, they might feel better, but that’s because they are already beyond all rational thinking.

These are the people who don’t have impulse control, whatever their reasons, however understandable the rage and pain they might be feeling is, they are beyond the point of no return, and it wasn’t a film that pushed them over the edge.

My friend Adele asked me to write about the books and television that have inspired me; Burning Bunny’s, AKA Kim Harrison inspired me to believe in majick again, and in love, and if you haven’t read that book I am going to tell you the relationship between Kiston and Rachel is what love is. It’s the definition of love, and that character’s experience made me mourn for a week the pain that they both feel in the end of the situations.

I believe that a world filled with Majick because of the genetic altering of Tomatoes can fuck up the planet, I believe that so badly that I eat tomatoes out of spite. You’ll understand if you read the book.

I believe that there are people out there who use the Craft for the purposes of deliberately causing harm to others, and I believe that the Truth will always out because in these stories the hero always wins, even if it costs them almost everything, the hero almost always wins.

I need to believe that because I believe that I am in my very real way the hero of my own story, and I believe that because well these authors, JK Rawlings, Nora Roberts and Kim Harrison have created characters that have flaws like I do. They have created characters that I can understand and relate to, even though my experience is so vastly different.

Film and Television can inspire a lot of things inside of us, but the violence and anger that we feel? that comes from real life situations. When you kick a dog it becomes either weak or strong, and if they become strong they usually become mean. This is also basic human nature.

Children who don’t experience empathy before the age of five are almost always guaranteed to become sociopaths or psychotic, because they don’t know or learn how to feel love.

Humans are perfectly imperfect Automatic Individuals who learn as they age, which is ironic since there are a bunch of idiot scientists basically trying to create more efficient human like robots so they can call themselves Gods.

Film, Television, Music, Radio, these are how we communicate, if you take that away then we forget where we come from. We forget our history, and if you don’t believe me ask any person whose made their money in Archaeology, like my friend Robyn. Her job is to study culture from around the world. She travels and learns about our history so she can pass that on to the rest of us. This is a pretty amazing gift she’s been given that so few people get to learn about.

We learn about who we are today by looking at our past, film, television and music are how we record that history. Why in the fuck would we want to take that away from future generations? I know our ancestors were dickheads who buried our language and our history in tombs that are so fucking complicated we will probably never know what they say, but that doesn’t mean we have to be.

Instead of blaming movies like The new Joker film, start looking at yourself and take a real hard look in the fucking mirror. People are a reflection of who they are taught to be, and while some of us have the strength to break from the mold and become our own selves some people are stuck forever trying to emulate the person they think other people want them to be.

If you’re an asshole to someone, for no reason than you feel like being a fucking prick, then you are in fact the reason that person is hurting and lashing out in return. If you treat people with kindness, they spread that kindness. The truth is that removing these stories from movie theaters isn’t going to keep us safer. It’s a lazy excuse to blame everything but the problem. Which is largely how we feed on each other in our worst possible moments.

Don’t believe me? Ask any director whose directed a fucking Vampire film, at it’s finest it’s soft core virgin porn. Through the layers though Vampire films are a reflection of the people who feed on the most vulnerable, in real life not all vampires drink blood remember.

The Joker is a reflection of men and women, who have been hurt so badly they lash out, you can keep blaming the film if you want but in reality it’s our culture to treat each other like shit, and until that stops, these movies will continue to be made, not only because they make money but because these stories need to be told.

Sending all my love to the world,

Devon J Hall

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