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Laughter Is The Best Medicine
When I was in the darkness, as I like to call my past, I spent a great deal of time watching shows about Vampires, Demons and the struggle between good and evil. I resonated with that and the metamorphosis that comes from fighting darkness so deeply that everything I wrote was filled with angst and…
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I’m Not Ready To Let Go…Because The Darkness Is My Comfort Zone
I am procrastinating from cleaning by writing a blog post about how difficult it is for me to clean. I mean mentally and emotionally difficult. It takes a lot for me to get into cleaning mode, usually me kicking and screaming all the live long day. Imagine me being dragged down the street kicking and…
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Now You Want To Talk About Mental Health
Everyone wants to talk about mental health these days, suddenly mental health is the thing that everyone has an opinion on the topic, and my only question is…why? I mean, don’t get me wrong, I am really glad so many people are jumping into the waters that is mental health, because the more help the…
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She Asked Me Not To Have Black Children….
I just read the headline for this post here called “What If My Son Were Ahmaud?” On an earlier post by the same Author, Kaya, a woman commented that she hopes I don’t bring Black children into this world, because of how hard it is for her as a mother of Black children of her…
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This Isn’t Where I Thought I’d Be At Thirty-Seven
But in a strange way it’s where I am happy to be, does that make sense? I am content in this place, especially when I am stoned, but more so just in general. Today in particular was rough, because I had a terrible daymere while sleeping off my new medications. A man broke into my…
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Check Please
I remember many years ago sitting at a bus stop with some friends having the worst phase of De Ja Vu…every second for about two hours my brain kept screaming “de ja vu, de ja vu” over and over again, and so I did the only thing I could do. I laughed until I cried,…
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Mental Health Is Hard
I am learning that as I go. Which is why it’s so important for me to talk about it. I am having a hard time conveying my thoughts these days, and I think that’s largely in part because I am medicated, but oddly I don’t regret it. I’ll take slow and medicated over angry and…
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What Are You Doing To Invest In Yourself?
Self confidence is something that I struggle with every single day. I am trying to break past the brain washing of my bullies and abusers, but I learned while writing this post that it’s actually really difficult. How does one celebrate themselves without being accused of being filled with hubris or being accused of being…
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I Hate This
I hate that I am tired all of the time. I hate that I am afraid to go to the fucking grocery store. I am afraid to buy cigarettes at the corner store, I am afraid because everywhere I go I see friends of friends who know who raped me. A year and a half…
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I am becoming a Zombie…
So my routine has changed. From now on instead of taking a needle every morning a man will show up at my house with two pills for me to take and he will watch me take them. It’s nerve wracking and it’s fucking humiliating, but it’s just one more step in me reporting what happened…
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I Choose What I Carry
The best you can hope for is that there will be people to catch you when you fall. I got lucky that way, that there were people there. I feel like I should feel humiliated about the last couple years of my life, but that humiliation isn’t something I am interested in carrying on my…
Loud Mouth Brown Girl 