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Talk Dirty to Me, #TriggerWarning
So I want to talk about sex, sexuality and BDSM. Because it’s one of the things that helped me discover my deepest sexual and psychological needs, after being abused. That being said, if you are easily triggered, please do not read this post, I explain things in detail that may trigger shame or guilt in…
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I will never stop talking about sex
In my last post I talked about the kinds of sex that I used to like, and in some cases still do. In this post I need to talk about why it’s important to talk about sex after you’ve been abused. This isn’t an easy topic for most people, but especially those of us who…
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Siddha, Surrey
Siddha Lee Saint James was curled up on an antique settee made of dark maple wood and the softest deep shade of purple she could find. It sat in front of a giant picture window that gazed out lovingly over King George Highway and 108th avenue. The apartment sat over top of the Creole Cafe,…
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Time for a new tattoo I think…
Tattoos are to me, a reminder of the sacrifice and the journey, that we’ve taken to make it to the point of inking the reminder into our flesh. They are sacred to me. Every tattoo I have I picked for a purpose. My Witch as a reminder of what happens when you mess with that…
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Reflecting
That’s my word for this week. I mean let’s be honest, I’ve been sitting around reflecting on my life for the last two years, but it’s only today that I realize how important that word is to me. This week I asked publicly on Twitter, “What advice would you give to someone whose afraid to…
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Fifty Questions
1. Where do you consider “home” to be? My bed. I fucking love my bed, it’s so comfortable these days, that home to me, is curling up at the end of a long day and getting a good nights rest. 2. Do you believe in ghosts? Absolutely. 3. Are you religious? No, I would say…
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Twist the way you see the world…
When I was about seven years old I read Captain America for the first time. I even remember that it was the one where Captain America meets Falcon for the first time. The exact word “Riley” stuck in my brain for some reason. I remember at seven years old declaring out loud that I was…
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Go ahead, Call me a Rat
I remember several years ago I told someone I was gang raped, and I was going to the cops to deal with it. In my neighbourhood this is a huge no no. You never go to the cops, not just because their fucking useless, but more to the point, because it’s crossing the line. Cops…
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Little Bits
I’ve been thinking a lot about how I am not doing “a lot” of active healing. By active healing I mean I don’t have a job, I am not working towards getting one and my house is still in a state of semi chaos. I am not doing the things that I think I should…
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It’s time to focus that energy
I am trying to learn how to focus my energy, but I am having trouble expressing this phase of my healing. When I wake up the first thing I focus on is getting coffee into my system as quickly as possible. It’s so automatic now I don’t even think about it. Before I go to…
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I shared something today and it didn’t kill me.
Today I tweeted out that I had been gang raped on three or four separate occasions by the same men. It started when I was fifteen, at that time they were just boys, like me, children. The last time they raped me they were full grown adults, who made it very clear that what I…
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I’m not letting this shit go.
I was gang raped in the year of 2016. You know this if you’ve been reading this blog as long as I’ve been writing it. It wasn’t the first time I was gang raped, but it was most certainly the last. Every night I go to bed terrified someone is going to kick my door…
Loud Mouth Brown Girl 
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