So I’m a part of a few groups of really wonderful women writers, creators, and all around beautiful souls.
One of them posted this blog post asking “Has Blogging Cured My Social Anxiety?” and I can honestly say that, yes, it absolutely has made it easier for me to dissect my feelings and really think about how far I have come in the last several years. I know this because all of the people who burned me and stabbed me in the back over the years are still alive.
Largely because against my own sanity, I have allowed others to submit work under my name, it’s also created a large amount of social anxiety that I did expect, but didn’t think it end up being as bad as it was.
Forgetting the people who think I’ve damaged their previously “Stellar” reputations, I have been called whore, slut, tainted bitch and any number of terrible things over the last several months.
All while simultaneously being told to win my freedom from the same people who are trying very hard to destroy my reputation, to take responsibility for their actions by saying that the events written about on this website are false.
For more than twenty-two years I was a victim of the members of the NXIVM cult going by the name of the Adrenaline Mob, not to be confused with the bad ass musicians.
Largely because I am smarter than most people, I used what Dr. Golden and his band of merry idiots tried to do to me against them, by hypnotizing myself long before it happened.
I also created for myself three separate worlds, the one that people see me living in, the one people think that I am living in, and the world that people create for me to live in.
I choose to live in the world that I create, the world of Loud Mouth Brown Girl, which belongs, in whole, in part and in every fucking way possible in all fourteen dimensions, why? because I fucking say so.
Every single person that set out to recreate the abuse in a bullshit attempt to convince total strangers that I am completely insane, has realized just how badly they have underestimated the mind of a true writer.
We write the stories we need to write, in order to achieve the desired affect, you marked your corners, and you tried to mark this website with your own as you call it, river of bullshit and yet I am still alive. A lot crazier than I was before I realized that all the shit you promised never to do to me, was stuff you were actually doing.
This website is the result of women everywhere, being told that what they think they can achieve are really impossible dreams that no one should ever attempt to dream about.
It’s also a reminder than when you open up a can of fucking worms, you best not be surprised when a Black Mamba appears surrounded by snakes of different breeds, all of whom told you that you should never, ever, EVER mess with a Viper’s nest.
Brown Girl is 22 years of a woman being told that she should be less of herself, only to have a bunch of idiots realize what a monumental bad idea that was, try and fail to clean up their mess, and then act genuinely surprised when the girls they bullied, beat and abused decide that they aren’t interested in returning to the safe confines of the world that you’ve created for them.
For the love of Christ I’ve been wanting to say that a very long time, this website is dedicated to all the snakes in the grass who were told that they would never amount to anything.
It’s time to Evolve assholes, and leave Siddha Lee Saint James and the Loud Mouth Brown Girls of the world alone.
For the record, the tribe that I’ve chosen? It’s Me myself and I.
There are far more of us than there are of you, and for the record…It’s always been Siddha Lee, and it will ALWAYS be Siddha Lee, that any woman worth her salt will choose before she chooses a man over any, and we do mean, ANY of her Sisters.