Dear Loud Mouth Brown Girl(S)

You are the future.

You have travelled across worlds, you have fought demons, and side by side with Angels, you have seen Alien’s and you have come to understandings about the universe that no one else in the entire dimension could understand without having travelled with you.

You are a fucking amazing human being.

Your skin has been used as a weapon against you, your heart has been ripped a part by trauma and shock and awe, and yet there are people in this world who love you. Who need YOU to exist, so that they can keep on refusing to give up. YOU are the reason that someone on this planet is alive even if you don’t know it.

They might be a world away, you might never meet them, but BECAUSE YOU EXIST, so they do as well. That’s pretty fucking amazing, it’s almost majikal isn’t it?

YOU are the reason that I am writing this letter, yes, you the person reading this, because YOU specifically are the one that needs to hear it. There are days that make you laugh, and days that make you cry, and the universe will continue to tug and pull at your sanity in a million ways just to see if you’re absolutely CERTAIN that you want to be the person you know in your heart you were meant to be.

Shove your middle fingers up loudly and proudly, because you are going to do all the things that you want to do, and I know this because I have seen it. With Khadisha Thornhill and Natalie Cox and the BudSista’s, I’ve seen it with Necole Hines from Faded Living, and I’ve seen it in myself.

There are millions, BILLIONS, of little girls out there looking for a sign, looking for someone to show them that THEY can do all the things that they want to accomplish on that earth, and you are here to be that sign. YOU are here talking about Racism like Marley K, you are here doing all the things like Trish Roberts showing the world how to be kind, and to love yourself, to heal and to help others heal along their way.

You are here doing all the fucking things, and yes its hard, and it’s scary, and yes it is absolutely utterly fucking LONELY, but you are not ALONE, and that’s the difference.

No amount of darkness, no matter how tight it feels as it wraps around you, can make you be anything other than what you’re meant to be, whether you like it or not, because you are on a JOURNEY, not just an experience. You are following in the paths of giants, you are leading the way for all those who come after you.

YOU are the talented singer and dancer who doesn’t look the way the world thinks you SHOULD look Lizo, you are the woman that is following her dreams regardless of what the world wants from you Rihanna, you are the woman leading the charge Beyonce, You are dancing your way to freedom Kelly Rowland.

There are people in this world who will spit at you no matter what you do or say, no matter how many times you save their lives or show them that there can be a different way. They will throw garbage at you and tell you that you don’t deserve to be happy, and you’ll smile and chuckle inhale a puff of that reefer and say “we’ll see.”

You’re the one who confuses people because they don’t understand why you are the way that you are, you think you fade into the background and people will have to work extra hard to know your name, Michelle Williams, but they will never forget that you were “that” thing that the band couldn’t have existed as it did without, no matter what.

There will always be those of you who “used” to be something to someone else, but you will ALWAYS be the person you WANT to be, to yourself. No matter how many times people stomp on your dreams or tell you that it’s not worth fighting for, or that you don’t deserve what you need in order to become the Goddess that you want to be, you’ll keep going.

You’ll be tired, hungry, skinny, fat, and dark, light, and scarred, but you won’t let the world see that part until you’re ready, when you need to you’ll show the girl ready to fight, for yourself and those around you because you were BORN to be a LOUD mouth brown girl, you are not fucking ordinary.

You are not “nothing,” you are EVERYTHING. You are the thing that the ENTIRE universe, the dimension has been looking for. You terrify men and petrify women and they’ll pretend otherwise, pretend that they think you don’t matter, even as they spend ALL of their free time trying to destroy your life.

Which they wouldn’t do, if you didn’t matter, you are fighting you are surviving, you are being a WARRIOR, because you DO matter, and the universe is at war with itself, you’re born here to make changes and adjustments and it’s fighting against you for the same reason we all fight against change. Fear of the unknown is destructive, don’t worry about it, keep going. Keep staying strong, keep ignoring and refusing to acknowledge when the universe tries to taze you through space and time.

No matter what hazing you’ve experienced, there is someone in this world that needs to hear YOUR story the way YOU tell it, so that THEY can feel like THEY have a chance at survival because yes Bitch, if YOU can do it so then can the rest of us.

Brown and Black girls were made different. In the hearts of Stars from across time and space, we were born to be the ones that change the entire universe, we were the ones who were designed to literally change everything the world has ever known, so why the fuck are you giving up on doing the thing that you’re supposed to be doing, when that’s the thing you KNOW will make you happy?

Suck it up.

Yes, cry if you have to, scream if you need to, work out if you must (ugh), but do whatever you have to do to complete the mission that ONLY you can accomplish, because if you don’t the universe will be destroyed forever and there will no going back to what could have been.

Sending all my love,

Devon J Hall

Author: Devon J Hall

Devon J Hall is a thirty-eight-year-old Writer and Author from Surrey, British Columbia by way of Calgary Alberta. She lives with three cats, one mother, and is addicted to coffee, cigarettes, and weed, not necessarily in that order.

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