Dating

Why You Should Read Her Blog Before You Date Loud Brown

So…last year I had the opportunity to meet a bunch of famous people, and the question came up of course, “would you date a famous person?

I think I have to say I don’t honestly know…it would have to be a fairly special person, because although I am trying to work my way toward literary fame and fortune, I am at the bottom rung of the public figure world.

I am still figuring out what it means to be a Professional Blogger/Writer, I am learning from a lot of amazing women in my women’s groups, I am absolutely a student of the craft.

That being said, I know fully that I am going to be the “Infamous Loud Mouth Brown Girl” one day, because that’s what the goal of this project is. To be famous, so I can inspire others, so that I can extend my reach and travel the world and learn from the Masters.

So that I can pay the fucking bills.

So the question remains, “would you date a famous person?” The answer is yes, maybe, I don’t know, in about ten years when I’ve reached my goals as the Loud Mouth Brown Girl. Until then, my focus has to be as it’s been for the last two years, in building this brand.

I’m not suggesting anyone wait for me, by the way, I just don’t see a path to a healthy relationship right now in this moment, I might tomorrow, but that’s tomorrow. Where I am at today? I am just figuring out how to stay sober, which is fucking difficult, even this post is being written while stoned. Even though sobriety is the eventual goal, I am not ready to live life cold turkey just yet.

I realize as I write this my future Agent is going to hate me, because I am never going to be the girl who fits into the box. I am always going to say what’s on my mind, even if it takes me time, even if my future person is more famous or less famous than me. Even if I might put this brand at risk, I will always say how I feel.

Because that’s who the fuck I am, and that’s a lot to ask of anyone.

I see myself on this incredibly tall ladder leading me up into the skies of literary notoriety, and as much as I would love to take someone with me, I am only just learning to understand what it is that I want myself, how can I expect anyone to follow me when I am so uncertain about what it is that I need from the Universe?

These are questions that have come up in meditation recently, and as per usual I needed to post them so here they are.

One day I am going to look back at these posts and laugh about how much I didn’t know, one day I am going to feel comforted by the fact that I was so uncertain, but until then I just feel anxious about the idea of falling in love with anyone. Let alone helping them with the baggage they carry.

So for now, I’ll carry my own, but I am curious..have you figured out what it means to date you? Let me know in the comments below.

Sending all my love,

Devon J Hall


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2 replies »

  1. I love your honesty. Keep going! I’m in the same place. I’m dating myself again. For now, I don’t see that changing. I need all of me for now.

    Liked by 1 person

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