Several years ago I was gang raped, and I remember making a list that night of all the things I would do if I got out of that situation alive.
I decided one of my major things was that I was going to get fat, largely because during that period in my life I had been so focused on my weight that I wasn’t enjoying my life. Don’t get me wrong I wasn’t working out or anything, but I would go days without eating and then I would just randomly fall down. No one could understand why and I didn’t tell anyone that the reason my body couldn’t hold me up was because I was fucking hungry.
So this past year I have eaten everything I’ve wanted to eat without thinking twice about what it would do to my body, and I fucking got fat. And I’m proud of myself, because I would rather be fat than worry that my body is going to give up holding me up, because I wasn’t eating. This is something I’m admitting for the first time on my blog here today.
Recently Lizzo went to a basketball game and showed her ass, and people got angry and right away people started screaming “it’s not about her weight, it’s because kids were there.”
The WWE has a ton of inappropriate story-lines happening right now involving Rusev and Lana, talking about divorce and cheating, they have had snippets of video with Lana in bed with another man and no one gives a flying fuck, and there are kids in the audience.
They have another story-line with my personal favorite of the moment wrestler Bray Wyatt acting like a total sociopathic homicidal lunatic and everyone loves it because it’s just acting, no one cares that when he crawls through the floor of the ring and rips hair off his opponent’s head that there are kids in the audience, so yeah it is about her weight and you’re full of fucking shit if you say otherwise.
We have such a problem in this world, on this planet with people’s weight, and what gets me is that it actually doesn’t affect you in any possible way.
Calling Lizzo gross or ugly isn’t going to make her care about your opinion, it’s not going to make her suddenly decide to chase your love by losing weight, it’s just going to make you look like a complete and total asshole. Which you are.
I chose to gain weight, I knew full well that eating whatever I wanted with reckless abandon was going to force me to gain weight, and even though I’m not thrilled with my body at the moment, I am happier than I have ever been and I haven’t fallen down in about two years.
Lizzo is living her best life, making a ton of money and yet people are still critisizing her as if their opinion is what matters. It’s not.
What Lizzo has done for the music industry is to teach all of us that talent has nothing to do with the size of your ass. I deleted this post today because I wasn’t proud of what I had written, I wasn’t as honest as I could have been when I wrote it yesterday, and so I re-wrote it.
In re-writing this post what I realized is that what Lizzo did at that basketball game was to absolutely live in her truth. She heard her song, shaked her ass and made sure that everyone was talking about her for days to come. That’s her job and she’s done it quite well, love her or hate her you’re talking about her, and because of that her name is in the press. Which is exactly what she’s supposed to do, so congratulations you have fallen into the trap of feeding the dragon.
Keep talking trash about her, and watch her continue to sore as the amazing Caramel Brown Goddess she is, all while giving zero fucks about what you may think about her, her lifestyle or the moments she chooses to make matter.
She’s doing exactly what she wants to do without shame and that’s why you really hate her, so maybe it’s not about her weight, maybe it’s that she’s unapologetic, maybe it’s that she doesn’t give a fuck what you think. Maybe it’s that despite all the people who told her she couldn’t/shouldn’t/wouldn’t succeed she did exactly that.
Some of us could do with a little more self confidence, and the reason that we don’t have it is largely because we’re too busy listening to the voices telling us that we shouldn’t be proud of ourselves, of who we are.
You should be proud of exactly who you are, regardless of your weight, regardless of your skin color and you look beautiful. Say that to yourself every day in the mirror, because you deserve to hear those words. I love you.
Sending all my love,
Devon J Hall